Cha-Cha

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“Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha.”

― Robert Brault

I am trying to be an optimist. I am trying to take my two steps forward, one step backward and make it into a cha-cha... but man it isn't easy. 

I know the importance of goodness and positivity. I just feel like every time I take a step forward lately I take two backwards. No stomach attack for six weeks? Let’s have three in four days and put her in the Emergency Room twice. Fertility cycle successfully tracked and used? Let’s have her period arrive two days earlier than anticipated and with a vengeance. Cast in a dream role in a Shakespeare play? Let’s have her work her ass off to have it cancelled at the last minute. Add in some stresses I choose not to blog about, stupid doctors who give me a snap diagnosis and tell me I should be on antidepressants to see if they help anything (when I am not depressed regardless of all this going on) just makes me want to hit something. I am not clinically depressed. I can laugh, I can feel happiness and joy and I am not in a fog of sadness and hurt hours a day. I am not sad. I am not depressed.

I am frustrated. There is a huge difference. 

Sometimes my frustration brings me to tears because that is my body’s uncontrolled physical response. But more often than not, I am just me. I don't dwell on these things all the time. I am how I always have been. I don't know how else to put it. I have been in that horrible fog before, my teenage years especially... I know the difference and how important mental health is to people. But I will not just take medication because one doctor who has spent five minutes with me and sees my medical issues happening and thinks I should, even if just as "preventative maintenance" because it is "only a matter of time at this rate."

Seriously?

So, as you can tell from my ranting things have not been easy around these parts lately. I cannot believe I naively expected to get pregnant as soon as I stopped taking my birth control over a year ago. I cannot believe I thought having my gall bladder removed would fix my stomach issues and make me normal again. I cannot believe certain things happen. I cannot believe I am officially the "someone else" certain things happen to, but never to you person. I mentioned in my 2014 Retrospect post how hard of a year it was and 2015 can only be better.... well I was wrong. Different sorts of awful can happen and be just as hard if not harder. Sometimes that makes me wish I was a kid again, this adult stuff is for the birds. Maybe next year will be better. Maybe October, November and December will be better...

All I can say is, I am working on my cha-cha as much as a rhythmically challenged girl can. 

Slightly Frustrated

I am a little, slightly frustrated with some things in life lately. Maybe it is because we hit our two year mark in this duty station and things are up in the air as to what's next. Maybe it is a lot of different things, but I know my husband is feeling it too.

We're both struggling a little bit at work. He has huge inspections on the horizon and is working 13+ hour days more often than not and is getting worn out quickly. I have been in my new position in the library for a few weeks now and I am just not hitting my stride. I loved my job in Tech Services... processing new inventory, repairs and lots of different things that made me feel like I was really contributing. Now I work in Reference. I am full time, so more pay and more hours, but I feel like sometimes I am doing less meaningful work than I was before. 80% of my job feels like handing computer passes to people and helping them print/scan/copy/sign on to certain websites. The other 20% I do, helping people find things, using research databases and interlibrary loans, just aren't frequent enough. We're also understaffed at the moment so I am working every other weekend or more and I definitely did not miss that.

So, things are a little frustrating. It feels like any time Ryan and I have off it is spent cleaning and cooking and doing other chores rather than spending time together. On the days I open we do carpool, but it is so early in the morning that our conversation is a little flat. At night we're so tired we are in bed by ten usually, and the time before then is spent just eating, packing our lunches, cleaning and watching TV until we drag ourselves to bed.

I haven't been to the gym in three weeks. First it was a killer cold, now a broken toe that makes putting my sneakers on kind of impossible (I battled a bedpost and my fourth/ring finger? toe lost). I miss going to the gym (shock!) and I feel like I was making real progress that all just got undone in less than a month, which feels pretty pathetic. I hate how it can take months and months to notice the slightest change but only a week to feel like it all has become undone.

I am frustrated. I want more time with my husband. I want to love my job again.

I want to feel happier.

Here's to some hopefully brighter tomorrows.

Oy

As frustrated as I am at this point I cannot help but laugh. Maybe only slightly maniacally.

Let me preface this by saying I love my husband very much and I miss him more than anything.

But man he is lucky he is not in arms reach of me right now! Because I would not hesitate to smack him upside the head. Not hard. Just a tap. But it would happen.

Let me explain.

Geico sent our new insurance cards today so after I got home from work I went to put them in the truck and the car. I put the one in the truck and as I sit in the car to put it in the glove compartment I glance at our registration.

WHICH EXPIRED IN AUGUST.


Since Ryan is obviously military the cars were always just his jurisdiction. He wanted to have them both with his home of record in South Carolina. When we were first married and living in the DC area this saved us a LOT of money in insurance and other fees... but when we moved to North Carolina my husband never changed our address with the proper channels in South Carolina. We realized this recently when the truck registration was due and we had to reorder it because it never arrived. But my husband only paid for duplicate registration, which meant no stickers. Which means until one of us goes to the DMV in South Carolina our lisence plate is wrong but at least our registration is right. Well Ryan told me he went online and changed our address so we should be good. We weren't good. Obviously.

I have been very, very lucky not to get pulled over driving without a registration for two months.

Back to today.

UGH.

So after realizing the registration was expired as of AUGUST I go on the SC DMV website and get directed to the treasurer/auditor for my husband's home county's website. I call a few numbers and a very nice guy in the Auditor's office helped me out. Basically if it was just paying the taxes we would have been fine and could have paid it online and gotten it done. But South Carolina has a new tag fee this year which now also has a late fee... that cannot be paid online.

The final solution we agreed to is he will mail the tax form my mother in law, his home of record, she will go in to the treasurer to pay it, take the receipt and go to the DMV and pay that fee and the late fee and then mail me the registration and the sticker. I will then mail her a check for whatever the final total is. In the mean time I will have to drive the truck, broken window and all, to and from work every day. Yes, the gas is going to suck as is trying to have a cigarette in traffic when I can't roll down my window (but my husband will fix it when he comes home, or so he says), but at least the truck has a valid registration. The tags are not valid but if I am pulled over I can pretend I didn't realize it and promise to order the sticker as soon as possible. My next week day off (which is NEXT Thursday) I am driving to North Myrtle Beach, which is the closest DMV, with my Power of Attorney to take care of the damn sticker situation with the truck. None of the six DMVs in the state of South Carolina that have Saturday hours are within five hours from here so that is my only option.

The reason all this happened? According the auditor guy our Virginia address was in their system so in July/August they sent the tax forms there, they were returned with a forwarding address but you cannot legally forward tax forms. So we just never received our bill. He has removed that address from the system completely so at least at this point only the SC address is on there. I guess when my husband changed our information with the DMV the tax office didn't get it.

I am beyond frustrated at this moment. I am very thankful my mother in law is willing to help us out and run around and pay up front for a lot of this until I can send her a check. I am also glad I haven't been pulled over because it is a $250 ticket for driving an unregistered vehicle. Yes I looked it up.

I just hope this is resolved fast. I hope the mail is fast and I just want to fast forward already. I've said that a lot lately. I am SO ready for this deployment to be OVER.

During Deployments

My recent observations... In list form. During deployments:

Your football team seems to do worse since he's not here to cheer with you. Really Eli, I never knew you depended on Ryan so much

Something will be wrong with the car. 

You promise to eat right and work out but end up eating dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and doing a push up challenge a month in. 

Sleep is terrible. I am up super late regardless of how exhausted I am or how early I have to be up. 

You have to make some big life decision on your own. 

Something breaks. Like your only iPhone charger that is over a foot long. And I know Ryan could fix it at work but now it's just useless to me. 

You will read on average six books a week. Three this weekend alone and now starting a fourth. 

Some friends will become better, others will vanish. 

Little things seem overwhelming so doing those big plans (yoga, scrapbooking, learning Italian) aren't even touched. 

There will be at least one fight you have that you beat yourself up over for even having had happen. But you'll make up just as quickly. 

You'll realize leaving the house on your day off seems like a huge task. 

And during a deployment...

You feel pretty darn lonely. 

Not my best entry. Let's chalk this up to the one month slump? It will get better. It will. I just have to snap out of it. It's worse knowing it is in your power to do something but it just seems so damn hard. I miss my best friend. 

 

Real Real Estate

My mom told me buying a house is one of the most exciting times in your life. You spend hours searching for your dream home (or semi dream home on a budget) by pouring over real estate sections of the paper, looking online and meeting with realtors. Of course, my mother is not a military spouse and did this twice. Once for the house I grew up in and once for the house they now retired to. Something tells me my experience may be a little different...

Most people know military families move around a lot. Every three to five years you can expect to be sent to a different base, possibly even a different state, time zone or country. Depending where you are headed, living off base may be more financially practical (or if you're stubborn like my husband the ONLY way to go) but it is a whole different can of worms.

Since finding out last month we received orders to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina my husband and I have been in a frenzy trying to find a place to live. House hunting under normal circumstances can be stressful. I have friends already stationed down there who are looking for houses during all of their spare time and not having a lot of luck. Meeting with their realtors they are going from house to house and crossing their fingers hoping for THE ONE.

I'm kind of jealous.

At this point, I have never met my realtor. My dad has though! My mother in law found him through the network of lawyers she knows down in the area. Ryan has spoken on the phone with him multiple times and I have emailed back and forth with them as well. I had my first phone call with them this week when we were placing an offer.

My husband is in California. I am in Virginia. We placed an offer on a house we have never laid eyes on based on what we were looking for, pictures online and pictures and word of mouth from my dad.

Is that crazy?

Ryan and I both spent hours and hours looking at houses online. Whether on the laptop or on our iphones using the realtor.com app and zillow we compiled a list of twenty plus houses. My dad eventually went last week and looked at about seven of the ones we narrowed it down to. Two were under contract before he got there. One had foundation problems. Three were in not the nicest of neighborhoods. One was a short sale that would ba amazing but had 8 other offers on it and would probably dry up our savings account trying to heat and cool! So what now? Desperately we searched again and emailed more listings to my dad.

Two passed the test.

Looking at the pictures he sent, one stood out.

We put in an offer.

Ryan called from California to North Carolina with the offer. I signed and used my power of attorney to fill out paperwork and scanned it from Virginia to North Carolina. They counter offered. We offered again. They said no. We tried one more time and they accepted. This involved a series of phone calls from North Carolina to Virginia to California to get everyone on the same page... and it happened somehow.

Now the inspection needs to happen and the appraisal. We have to apply officially for the mortgage we were preapproved for. We know the roof needs to be patched/possibly replaced. Carpets need to be replaced. Painting needs to happen. Ryan has to graduate, come back to the East Coast and we have to pack up our lives (with help from the military) and move to North Carolina and hopefully settle in the house that sold us by pictures alone.

I hope it passes inspection. I hope we can get the repairs done in time. I hope it all can be ready for mid April when we want to move in.

I hope we like it and will be happy there.


For at least three to five years.

Unlike other couples who buy that dream house, we know this one is temporary. In a few years time we will rent it out to other Marines or sell it and go through it all again.

Hopefully next time we will all at least be in the same time zone.

Fingers crossed!

Pending due to...

Pending pending pending.

And I found out yesterday partly why we are still pending. The Lt Col who is on the board and needs to approve the package has been on leave. The past two weeks. He is supposed to be checking his inbox. He hasn't. And I bet my bottom dollar if this man has spent the last two weeks on leave he will not be back before Easter, so another whole week of waiting at least. If we're lucky.

Yes I know Marines work hard and deserve their leave, but dude, our future is kind of depending on if you check your email. Which apparently you're supposed to. It is a tiny little thing. Just glance! Take care of the important stuff, a reply here a signature there, and go back to your sangria on the beach or whatever it is you may be doing. (Man that sounds soooo nice! A little jealous.)

Argh.

Anyway, head over for your Thursday Link Up with Goodnight Moon.

This week I am not doing country (shock I know) but a little blast from my past... anyone else remember Disney in Concert??? Oh my I thought this group was awesome when I was 11!



*fingers remain fiercely crossed that pending changes soon*

Still Pending

Of course Ryan's package is still pending. Do they not realize the agony this causes?! Ugh! Just give an answer already. End the will they/won't they internal battle my husband and I are both in the midst of. We're still going to church every night, praying as hard as we can. We make sure to mention at each mass how thankful we are for everything we do have... each other, our home, our family, friends, cars to drive, clothes to wear, food to eat. We know we are so blessed. But we still pray for good news to come of this re-enlistment.



Sigh.



Anyway, make sure you vote for your favorite Best U.S. Spouse Military Blogger! Make sure you leave the URL or it won't count. I want to go to the conference sooooo badly. It isn't too far from me. Is anyone else going????

And of course, my song link up for this Thursday with Amber at Good Night Moon.



Why?

Because last night as I am getting ready for bed my husband is messing around with his phone. Suddenly this song starts playing. I look at him, a tiny bit confused, but Ryan comes and wraps his arms around me and we slow dance in our bedroom to this entire song. My husband is pretty darn awesome.

Gee, thanks USMC

Why is it whenever I go to the barracks I hear guys (and girls) complaining about how they hate being in the Marines? How they cannot wait to EAS and get out? They are just counting down the days until they can get out of there.

There are so many of those.

Yet my husband who loves being a Marine, wants to make a career out of it, works so incredibly hard, has a tremendous amount of pride and dedication... is getting screwed?!

It frustrates me to the point I want to just break down and cry. But I can't. Because that won't help Ryan at all.

No answers from the career planners at all. For my husband to remain in the Marine Corps would take an act of God at this point. Every single thing is full or there just is not time for him to go before a huge board and be told no.

So he went to the Army. He looked at this program they have called From Blue to Green. He got excited about it again. He contacts a recruiter who says... only Special Forces are getting accepted at this point. Which we think is untrue (especially after talking to the army guy who lives above us) and he just wanted to go home early and not deal with it.

Now what???

Air Force? Navy? Nonmilitary life? Prior service recruiters??

My husband wants nothing more than to be a Marine. He wants to continue to serve his country and keep doing what he is doing. But he can't. Yet there are hundreds of people in the Corps that would gladly take an instant EAS date if it were to be offered to then. Ryan never thought when he joined the USMC he would have to worry about job security. Ever. My husband graduated high school and was in boot camp three days later. He has wanted nothing more than this since he was thirteen years old. That was when he decided to join and has never once wavered on that. He has no idea what else he can do besides military service. There are no degrees to fall back on. This is his life. He wants it to be his career.

Pardon my language in this sentence, but this is fucking ridiculous.

I can see how it is upsetting him, how hard he is trying every option possible. I can see how he is keeping himself strong and positive regardless, but I am failing to do the same. I can go to a recruiter today and enlist with no problem, but he can't stay doing the job he has done so well for five years.

I have been praying and praying. I keep praying and hoping and wishing and it is doing absolutely nothing. I've never experienced a hopelessness or worry of this magnitude. That bothers me. Especially since it is for the one I love the most.

We need a miracle here. The rest of my husband's career is depending on it.

Re-Enlistment, Recruiting, Re-Evaluating

I will allow you all to take a moment to marvel at my awesome alliteration above.

*moment*

Ok I promise to stop.

Now, I have no idea how to properly put my thoughts into this entry without sounding whiney or out there in left field, but I will try.

Now as many of you know (at least those of you who have read my blog for a few months know) Ryan is due for his first re-enlistment in May. I've blogged about this and the choices he has struggled with. For awhile he was re-enlisting and staying infantry. Then he was getting out and getting a security job. Then the FBI. Then he was joining the Air Force. Then he was joining the Reserves. Then he was going for CID... CID was full. Then it was MCCS. Then it was Intelligence.

Pause.

That's where this saga left off. Ryan was applying for his new MOS of Intelligence and really hoping to make it. Worst case scenario he'd re-enlist infantry and try in two years.

Now we're sitting down and eating dinner last night. Ryan is on the range all week, he looks like a roly poly man from all the layers he has on and comes home positively chilled to the bone and exhausted every night. So the past few nights it was shower, soup and bed. But I was feeling extra domestic so I made steak and potatoes and string beans so he could have some real, hot food! We're sitting and eating when he suddenly looks up at me and goes:

"So what if I re-enlist to become a recruiter?"

....

Where did this come from?

"Well I like to talk to people. I really enjoyed RA when I did it. It is a garunteed non-deployable for three years, there is no bonus but I'd pick up Sgt. I thought you'd like it."

"Yes, the non-deploying part is great. I love that. But what about Intell?"

"I can do that in three years or so."

"Ryan, you're going to get bored fast with that. You said the reason you did not want to do MCCS was because you didn't want to see the other guys deploying and going out when you can't!"

"Well that is on an actual base THERE, that's different."


Ok I won't keep up with the detailed conversation, but points covered were the fact we could end up in Podunk Idaho (no offense to any Idaho-ans) for three years. I'd have no job, no nearby base, and a husband working all the time. I know recruiters have long hours and have to work a lot with recruits/potentials.... I know Ryan's took him to strip clubs and bars (to which he replied it was after he graduated boot camp only and that they were all single).

I just don't know.

It seems like it came out of nowhere. I love the non-deploying aspect, I really really do.... but it feels like the wrong time for this kind of job. If we were ready to settle, start a family, I feel like it would be better. I know if we do this now and settle somewhere for three years when the time comes to move, PCS, or deploy it will be an even larger slap in the face! Are three years of garunteed non-deploying worth the rude shock later? (Half of me screams YES the other half is like HELL NO!)

Argh I am just so confused. What if this is just another phase like the FBI/Air Force/MCCS/CID ones? What if I get all gung ho and supportive just to have him tell me he changed his mind (again) and he wants to be a fire eater with the circus. Ok I am exaggerating, I will support him no matter what (he's my hubby, I love him, it's a duh thing) but this changing your mind thing is getting very difficult to deal with.

What do you all think about such a thing?

The Hunt: Update

So I sent Ryan 10-12 links today of apartments/condos I found. He picks one to go visit today... the others were too small or too far or too "expensive" (as in we can afford it but he prefers to do something cheaper). I am just getting kind of frustrated!

Now this place I could not find any reviews on the first time around. I got curious and tried again when he called me. Well I found it. NOT good. I think the apt website purposely lists their address and name slightly differently so you can't connect the dots. Let's sum it up; roaches, no hot water, electric goes out, old appliances, and an A/C unit in one of the apartments catching fire two months ago because it was old and faulty. Also terrible management who take forever to get anything fixed and say everything is a maintenance problem so it is up to them to fix it, not management.

Ryan says, "So, do you not like this place and want me to keep looking?"



What do you think?

Karma Rollercoaster

So last week had lots of ups and downs. As you can see my last entry covered the downs. Wednesday got a little better. Firstly I got the summer camp counselor job! I will be working at Georgetown Prep day camp in Bethesda this summer from June 20-August 20, so yay for that. Then Ryan and I won a semi scan from a Bridal Show. Basically what it boiled down to we won these "fabulous prizes" from this company called Chef World. We sat through an hour of their presentation and nodded along like we were interested in their surgical steel pots and pans and we got our prizes. First is was supposed to be 20-40% off any Chef World product there that day. No thank you. Second was a $1000 grocery card/coupon that accesses up to that much money in coupons for a year. Not too bad. And our last prize is a 3 day 2 night stay, basically all inclusive, in the Dominican Republic, Mexico, or the Bahamas!

We have a year and a half and a lot of restrictions but I hope we get to take it. We'd have to pay the tax on the room and airfare and transportation to and from the airport... but the hotel, meals, drinks, and all non motorized activities are covered! So it might be worth it.

So a couple points up on the karma scale.

Still haven't found another place to live yet. We've been looking but so far no call backs or anything. It seems impossible to find an apartment that is under $1300 with utilities included, near the highway and a metro, not infested with some creepy thing, decent management, and maybe a gas stove or two parking spaces or a balcony.

Apparently it is!

We saw two decent condos but so far neither has called back. If we get a place this week Ryan goes home for Easter to South Carolina (since he has a 96) and to get his bed to bring to our place. If we don't get a place he comes here for Easter. Maybe. Easter is my favorite time in the church and originally he was coming here, but now he probably won't. I am reading Good Friday and at the Vigil Easter Saturday and it would be the first time he sees me read in church. It is pretty selfish of me to hope Ryan can come here. He needs to go home. I know that.

My parents and Stefan are in North Carolina spending a few days at their new house where Ryan and I will spend our honeymoon. So it is me home with the dog and rabbit until Wednesday. I hate having the house to myelf. It is too big and quiet and lonely.

I cried saying goodbye to Ryan tonight. I haven't done that in a long time. It is so silly to cry over two weeks. Maybe big empty house syndrome added to that. We had a great weekend together. I cannot wait until we can see one another every day. I can wake up next to him and go to sleep next to him. I can't wait to be sick of him since I am seeing so much! It still seems so far away...

So Much is Getting Done!

So this weekend was extremely productive. Ryan and I got a lot done which provided a nice couple of checks on the master list. We stuffed and labeled and stamped all the invites, nearly 100 of them! It took me, Mom, Ryan, and Stefan to get everything in and done, but it was done! I mailed them all off today. Ryan and I also went to the Grand Colonial, our reception venue, and solidified our menu and everything. We picked out all the appetizers, dinner, the wine, and the cake (!!) which sounds so delicious I cannot wait. We also went to another bakery and got Ryan a groomscake for the rehearsal dinner. Hint, if you have ever seen Steel Magnolias you will LOVE his cake! Jill came over Saturday night and spent the night, and until I had a stomach attack we had an awesome time. Stupid stomach. And Sunday was great. I can't go into details, but let's just say we are now one step closer to May 1st.... (:

I still need to call the florist and get transportation and a make up artist, then it is basically all done. PreCana is on Saturday which should be interesting.

Doctors... had an appointment Friday. Starting to get weened off the scary medicine as it wasn't doing what he thought it would, only maybe half. I am now going for a CT scan with IV contrast of my BRAIN because maybe the problem is neurological since my digestive tests are coming back normal. Ugh. I am so sick of being sick. I tried to call the radiology place I went to last time and since the test has an IV and I am allergic to penicillin I can't go there because on the offchance I have a reaction they don't have the equipment for it. So I called the hospital to schedule and waited ten minutes and got disconnected, called again and waited twenty minutes and at 4:59 on the dot they sent me to voicemail as the place closed! UGH.

I ran lots of errands today besides being on the phone for forever. The vet, Dunkin Donuts and the pharmacy for mom, resealing the invites, making dinner... only to be called in to work to work closing shift and getting to eat McDonalds on my way and not my chicken :( Oh well.

Ok, sticking to it. It will all get done. Work tomorrow, job interview with a summer camp in DC on Wednesday... wish me luck!

COLD!

Who decided my last week in Florida would be absolutely freezing? Can I write a formal complaint to Mother Nature??? I mean, I think it is different being cold here. When it is cold in January in New Jersey or DC you expect it. That's how it should be. But in Central Florida? No way. It is a damp, terrible cold. We've been in the upper 30s in the day and upper 20s at night. It is crazy. Little girls are wearing jeans under their princess dresses with huge winter coats and hats over them! People are wearing the layers they wore to the airport in the parks because it is so damn cold.

It won't warm up again until next week. When I am gone. Fail.

The warmest day this week will be my last day in Florida. And it is supposed to rain. Joy.

The parking lot in Chatham, my apartment complex, is empty. Most people moved out and the new people aren't moved in yet. Chloe is gone, Amanda is almost gone, Kayla and I are all that are left in good ol' 29302.

Tomorrow is my last day of work. I cannot believe how quickly this has come. It seems like I just got here and I am getting ready to leave. Of course I haven't started packing yet!

Went back to the doctor this morning, last time here. I got my file to take with me as they haven't helped me much. I take six pills a day and I am still sick! I know now also that it is not celiac's disease, an ulcer, hernia, cancer, and my gallbladder appears to be functioning. Ugh. This is so frustrating.

I cannot wait to see Ryan this Saturday. Then I have to find a job in NJ as no one has gotten back to me. Eek!

Thanksgiving and the Future

I hope you all had a fantastic holiday!


So my mom found out Ryan and his friend Garrett weren't going home for Thanksgiving because South Carolina and Nebraska are kind of far... so that is how my boyfriend and one of his best friends ended up in New Jersey with my family for Thanksgiving with me in Disney!!! I was kind of jealous.


Garrett, Ryan, Jill and Derek (cousins), and my brother Stefan in front at my Babci and Poppy's for Thanksgiving

But apparently Ryan asked my parents' permission to marry me while he was there. How do I know that? Because he was nervous about it and told me! Haha. He also let me know that he had been looking at rings since he was in Iraq. He found a diamond and the perfect setting and looked every day for six weeks when he got back.... and he had to tell me THAT because it is so perfect.

Oh my god.

EEE!

Of course no one will tell me how the talk went. My mom pretends to know nothing and I can't ask my dad as I am not supposed to know and Ryan suddenly doesn't want to share! But apparently it "went well". Definitely a good thing. Now that I know that though I want to know when it will happen! And how! And where! I want it to happen so soon but I don't want to know the details and watch it ends up being a long ways away and he just took advantage of the fact that he could talk to my parents without me there. I don't know. Ack.

So now on to our favorite F-Word... the Future.

Ryan and I planned to move in together in DC when I left Disney. Well, I haven't saved as much money as I hoped and I am not having any luck finding jobs so it may not happen. Ryan "splitting" the rent went from 50-50ish to me paying most of it and him helping with other bills. With the money how it is right now I can't do that. So the only solution seems to be me moving home (ugh) again to NJ and working multiple jobs there to save money. It is just so frustrating. I cry over it constantly just because that's how my body reacts to stress. Which sucks.

I just love working at Disney. And if we're going to be apart, again, until February/May/August I wish I could just stay here and work. But I can't. Beneifts and more money and all. Ugh. I don't want to move home. And work in crappy jobs I hate. As I can't find anything, I am terrified I am just going to go back to Kohls and I don't think I can handle it.

I just don't know.

Can I fast forward please?

Meltdown

I sort of lost it last night.

I have been training for a new venue at work, my third, called Where's the Fire?, which is basically like a game show of sorts about fire safety. It is pretty fun, but training is draining. It means very early mornings, 8:15am Saturday, 7:30am yesterday and today, that go until 16:00 or 17:00. It is a long day. And I am not a morning person. So I have been soooo drained.

Ryan's mom and aunts were in DC visiting him for the first time since he got back. So between that and my interesting hours we haven't gotten to talk too much the past few days. I've been asleep early so I can get up early, and he has been up late. Plus he is going back and forth to Fredericksburg because his room mate and best friend Josh had a hole in his lung that leaked into his chest cavity and landed him in the hospital. Eek. Josh is ok, but Ryan is driving a few hours when he can to see him. So it has been a lot of texting lately.

But last night when he called me, even though I had been asleep for an hour, I picked up. I was tired, and stressed (my face is awful, so many breakouts! ugh!), so I was trying to keep things light. But he knew me too well to let that slide. I told him the early mornings were wearing me down and I hated the long days that started so early. Being at work by 7:30am means clocking in by 7:15am which means being on property by 7am. That means I pick up Karli at 6:45am and leave my apartment by 6:30am and I am up before 6am. See the stress?? But he replied, "At least you get to earn a lot of money!"

That was the key phrase that made me lose it.

I said, "I am so SICK of thinking about and talking about fucking money!" and then I burst into tears. Yea, I sort of shocked the hell out of him, he didn't see that coming. Neither did I. I am broke. Why?

Plane tickets to DC, one doctor emergency clinic visit, perscriptions from said visit, gas, perscriptions I take, a flat tire that came out of nowhere, groceries, rent, going to another doctor this Wednesday to finally be checked out, my GPS breaking and dying that day (I need it, it is pretty sad), and knowing my brother's 13th birthday and Christmas are approaching.... and I have no money. I am supposed to be saving to move in with Ryan so we can live together. I am living paycheck to paycheck. I had to turn to my mom for help which makes me feel so ashamed at 22. Money is the reason he may not come see me in Disney, which is so important to me (I need him to see me and my life and friends here or he'll never get what this place means to me).

So I cried. Or sobbed. I couldn't breathe. It was awful. He calmed me down and talked to me and got me to stop and get myself calm and sleep again. I felt so terrible for unleashing on him like that. I still feel hollow today from letting it all out.

Ugh.

I hate money.

Hey Jealousy?

So I know one of the biggest issues Ryan and I have in our relationship is the issue of jealousy. His ex was not the nicest person and really hurt his ability to fully trust in others. She basically left him for one of his best friends. Now the problem is, I always have been one to have a big mixed group of friends. I usually have a big mix of guys and girls that I hang out with and that has always been a sore spot for Ryan in our relationship.


Graduation Party

Whether it was me playing video games at my friend Brian's house, hanging out with Nate, Jeff, and Dave from my theatre school when I am home in NJ, or hanging out with Don and Patrick in Disney... we have had pretty decetly sized fights about all of them. I would never do anything to hurt Ryan, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have friends who are guys because, well let's face it, they are usually awesome to hang with, are honest (not catty at any rate), know sports, and are easy to talk to. Girls are much more complicated! I bond really well with one or two girls and get super close, but in big groups I do have my guy friends.


Team Bro-Womance at Disney Cast Quest

Now when I hang out with Don and Patrick here for example, usually it is in a group. 9 times out of 10 it is in a big group. Patrick and Don have a huge "bro-mance", they remind me of Ryan and his room mate Josh in a lot of ways, and Karli and I have the designated "wo-mance" (not as catchy but it works!). Usually the four of us hang out together. Karli's boyfriend Bryce is giving her the same flak Ryan is giving me which makes me feel a bit better, but not much. Patrick is dating Jenny, Don is on-off with Sara... and Karli and I are taken! What is wrong with the four of us being friends?? We work the same venues at work, we have fun together, and it breaks up the monotiny of the day in Innoventions.


The Love of my Life

So I haven't had a phone call from Ryan in nearly a month, and before today our longest talk in a week was maybe 10 minutes. Today he spent an hour of precious internet time (Al Asad sucks for that) arguing with me about being friends with guys! This isn't third grade, boys and girls don't have to be separate from coodies contamination and just because you are male and female does not mean sex has to be involved for any sort of connection to be possible.

These guys are my friends. Nothing more.

1. I have Ryan, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. That trumps anything anyone else could throw at me.
2. Not attracted to them. I love them dearly, but these guys become like my brothers. I have three already, I don't mind having more pseudo-ones in the mix.
3. If anyone, and I mean anyone, was disrespectful to me or my relationship I'd kick them in the balls so hard they'd come out of their noses.

The guys hear me talk about Ryan all the time. They want to see him when he comes down here. It is no secret. I have always been upfront and honest with Ryan in our relationship, and I think that is what makes all the difference.

He eventually backed off and apologized. I did too. I know it bothers him, but I don't seek out guys to befriend on purpose or anything. They are just my friends. Plain and simple. And usually when he DOES meet them he gets along great with them. Example given being my graduation party when Ryan went off with Jeff, Nate, and Dave on a cigarette run to a store 2 minutes away and we're gone for nearly 45 minutes. They got along great.

Sorry for the venting today, I was just frustrated that the hour and a half we had to talk this morning had almost an hour wasted on a pointless fight we've had many times before. Of course it ends up ok in the end, but I hate fighting with Ryan over anything and it is frustrating with him so far away. He will be back soon and I know we will be just fine. In 10 days I will tackle him, I swear I will!

I know he wants to be here with me and experiencing Disney with me like my friends here get to... and he will once he goes on leave. I told him he has to trust me. He said he did, it was the other guys he didn't trust. I said it doesn't really work that way, you have to trust my ability to choose my friends and the people I associate with, if they weren't good people, they wouldn't be in my life. Wow, this came out to be a much longer entry than I intended. Props if you read it!

It is all about the trust baby.

Internal Organs: 1, Allie: 0

So last night I had my first major gall bladder attack. It hurt like hell, in the front right of my ribs and across my back. I couldn't lie down, I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, nothing was comfortable. So Amanda, my room mate, took me to an Urgent Care Clinic that was open til midnight. Luckily it was close by. When we got there the woman said there was a 2-3 hour wait. So we stuck it out.

An hour later my vitals were done. An hour after that I was checked out. Diagnosis? Gall bladder. But there wasn't the right equipment there to take blood or do an ultrasound. So they gave me some anti-nausea medicine and percocet. I was told I could not go to work the next day and given a form and shoved out the door.

Damage? Three hours and $100. Ugh.

I spent the day mostly in a drug filled haze, sleeping on and off, angry I am not at work. I need these days off to go see Ryan. It sucks. We have a basically official date for the homecoming from our FRO person but Ryan is still moving so I haven't heard from him in 2 days. Probably won't for another two or three. Which sucks since I cannot book anything until I talk to him.

Oh, did I mention in all this chaos we had a new room mate move in yesterday? Her name is Chole and she is from South Korea. I totally make awesome first impressions...

Back to the sleepyness....

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Deployments!

I saw that bumper sticker on a fellow Marine girl's site and I had to use it. Because it is so true. I don't know if I have really talked about how much Ryan being deployed is really awful. Yes I have complained a little and said they suck, but I never took the time to put an emotional thought or feeling behind it, suddenly I kind of feel the need to try.

To sum it up, they suck. Easy assumption and oh so true. Having the person you love the most be so far away is heartbreaking. For about fourteen months I was so spoiled. I could call him whenever I wanted, yes if he was working I would miss him, but I could leave a voicemail. Or even text him. We had a nightly phone call before we went to sleep at night. Nearly every weekend and holiday we spent together. Sometimes even during the week if I didn't have class or he got off work early we'd have that time together. I could fall asleep in his arms, not have to rely on my stuffed dog in one of his old tshirts to have the smell slowly fading away from it. I hate that I cannot talk to him unless he can contact me, and if I am working or out with friends I feel so awful to miss him. I see couples around Disney all the time, holding hands or kissing or just waiting in line together and I get so jealous I swear my eyes turn green. I constantly worry about him and his safety. Any song I hear I can think of him, any movie or tv show we ever watched together makes my heart hurt, There are so many things I just want to tell him as they happen or just hear his opinion on. Days sometimes seem endlessly long because I cannot stop thinking about him or missing him.

My mom told me for years the right guy would come along for me. I went on a few dates, had a bad botched relationship in high school that was barely a blip on the radar, and had a few meaningless hookups... but never met the right guy. I began to honestly think he may not be out there for me, at least night at this point in my life. So I stopped looking. I usually hate it when my Mom is right, but this time was worth it. The instant I stopped caring so much and fretting about being single Ryan walked into my life. Since then he went from being that cute guy at the drama party I had never seen before to the guy I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. It is amazing the difference a year can make. I never imagined I would meet someone like Ryan and fall in love so deeply, but I did. And that made him going on this deployment all the more difficult.

I think I have been overly stressing lately for a lot of things. I have tried to thinking beyond Disney. The only reason I will probably stay longer is if I get offered a role in entertainment, but those auditions apparently are not until November. So I can't really plan. With Ryan coming home early I am trying to figure out the future, but it is so overwhelming. Health insurance, benefits, car insurance, rent, jobs, money... I wanted to crawl under my bed and cry. I have been trying to save money here but with my pay not so great it has been hard. I wanted to have a nest egg after this, but it isn't looking likely.

Ryan said I am enough, my love and me is all he needs. But I don't think I can go into a future with him with nothing. It doesn't seem fair. He should not have to support me as well as himself. And that is stressing me out. I cannot look for a new job in DC, since I don't even know where I will be yet. What if Ryan gets stationed in California and I move with him and then he gets deployed again and I am left all alone there?

No wonder I have a headache. Thanks for reading the rambling if anyone did. It's appreciated!

Disney... an update at last!!!

Sorry this took me so long! I have worked long days and was out internet for awhile so this is long overdue!

Day One

I was temporarily without internet because the charming residents in the apartment before me stole the modem! But we reported it and maintenance so it got fixed! So far I am pretty happy here. My room mates are pretty cool, two Amandas and a Kayla. I live with the Amanda from Hawaii (she goes to school there but is from San Diego originally), Kayla and the other Amanda are in the other room and are from Scranton PA and Tennessee respectively.

So Day One Mom and I woke up and went to check in. We got there and I met Amanda, my roommate, in line, and Kayla, the one I was matched with originally was right in front of me. So we all signed in and got our beginning paperwork and spiels. I am living in a 2 bedroom in Chatham Square apartments, the one I wanted, and we got the last one there!!! So we drove over there and unloaded as the skies opened up in a massive down pour. Up three flights of stairs outside with all my stuff in the rain. Oy. But we got it done. After that I went over to casting and spent about three hours going through the place with my room mates. Station after station.... job confirmation, payroll, Disney Look check, background scan, electronic fingerprinting.... it was a lot of standing in line and waiting! But I did get to talk to other people so that was pretty cool.

On the bus back we saw a snake chasing a lizard up and down a fence! The snake intertwined itself in the chain link and was chasing the thing up and down and up and down and the lizard got away! I took pictures so you will see shortly!

We went back and unpacked more, then we all got in the cars and headed to Target. And got lost. Then got there. I got some bedding at Marshalls, blue polka dots, then we had dinner at Subway before going to Target for the rest. Amanda and I did a rubber ducky themed bathroom and we got cleaning supplies and stuff for the kitchen, placemats, doormats, a wireless router etc. Productive shopping trip! We just got home, unpacked, realized the modem was stolen and reported it, then I drove mom back to the hotel. I went to business center using the free internet to email Ryan and then home.

Day Two

Richie texted me that day asking if I had heard from Ryan in the last day or so because Josh hadn't gotten back to her and she was worried with all the bombings going on in Iraq. She was wondering if TFE got called over to help or not but I told her I didn't know. I don't watch or listen to the news but everyone feels the need to inadvertently tell me anyway! Ugh.

After I emailed Ryan that morning Mom and I got breakfast and then went shopping. I got jeans that fit (surprise!) and a rain jacket since Harvey, my brother's rabbit, ate mine and we didn't notice all the holes until I unpacked it. After that I went to sign up for my free Disney class in Entertainment and it took FOREVER. I filled out the piece of paper in thirty seconds but I was there over an hour for the thing. Of course once we fill out the paper only people can go up to hand it in one table at a time then get in another line to have someone read the information back to you since college students obviously cannot read. :P Then I went to my security building and got my decal for my car and the missing items that were not on our apartment inventory. After that I had to go to a Housing meeting that took 2 hours! Basically don't have weapons, don't break anything, no drugs, no minors with alcohol, and you're fine! Somehow still that took 2 HOURS to go through. Then Mom met me and we went grocery shopping, got the starting essentials and came back and unloaded everything. Then we went and got dinner and I dropped her off at her hotel before coming home.

We are still without wireless. We got a modem now but the wrong router! So we are going to have to take it back to Target and get the right one, but at least I can plug this into the wall in the living room and use it to access the internet!

Day Three


My Traditions class for training this day was long, but oddly not too bad. I learned a lot and I got my employee name tag and my pass to get into the parks for free. I also learned Disney is big in Toys for Tots come the holidays so be sure to know I will definitely be volunteering to help with that!! I took the bus back and then changed out of my business attire (black skirt and jacket with a lacy bottom purple tank top, stockings, heels, even pearls in my ears!) and met my mom and my uncle Dave for dinner. He is my favorite uncle as I have told you before so I am disappointed he and Ryan never got to meet. He said he is anxious to meet Ryan when you get back! It was a sad day for him, I don't know how much My cousin Alex, for the past two years or so he has been exploring with Mormonism. He left today for Hawaii as two girls from his church got him a ticket there and he will be there a month. Then he goes to Iowa to work a steel mill thing which will then fund his mission which is about 2 years. So my uncle was heartbroken as he has no idea when he will see Alex again, poor kid is just 19 and has been kind of lost since his parents divorced years ago. He found that family feeling in the Mormon church when his then girlfriend took him with her, and he has been in there ever since. It kind of kills my uncle sometimes, I can tell, he just feels like Alex jumped in too quick or something.

Day Four

What a long day! I saw the sunrise and everything! So I got on the bus around 7:15 and I was in EPCOT and signed in by 8am. I sat through a few videos and slideshows, a lot about Walt Disney's original idea for EPCOT and the stories behind it, then some more cast need to know stuff. Then we split up into three groups and toured the park as part of our "Discovery Day" (all paid too!). It was barely 9:30am when we ventured out so the park was just opening, and the first thing we did was go on Spaceship Earth, the ride inside the giant dome that is THE symbol for EPCOT. It was still early so there was no line, we literally walked right on. It shows how man has changed throughout civilization with these amazing animatronic characters, and in the end it is that giant dome filled with stars and I felt like Ryan were there with me, stars are our thing. Stars in the night sky always make me think of him, and this night sky simulation I saw is probably like what he sees every night out there!

After that we walked around more. We went through Innoventions, where I will be working, and saw all the displays. Then we went over to Club Cool where we got to try samples of Coca Cola from all over the world. Verdict? Worst: Italy, waaaay too bitter. Best? Israel, nice and lemony! Then after that they had all of us stand in this huge circle in a courtyard and told us to wave at one another (to get used to greeting everyone we see) and then turn around outside the circle and start waving to guests. Suddenly the big booming announcer voice comes on and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please direct your attention to FutureWorld West Courtyard and say hello to our newest cast members! Please welcome them to our Disney Family!" And everyone around was waving and even taking pictures of us and cheering, it was cool and slightly embarrassing all at once! But mostly cool. After that we got on our own boat and went around the lake and got to see all the countries in the International section.... Canada, Germany, France, United Kingdom, Morocco, Americana, African Outpost, Japan, China, Italy, Norway, and Mexico. I think that is all of them. Each section is only employed by people who are actually from that country, it is pretty cool! They usually come here for a year long program and work as natives in their section.

Then it was back to the classroom, more videos and slides and get to know you things. Then our trainers came and got us just before noon. Mine was Ginny and only one other girl was Innoventions, her name was Sarah. Ginny took us to wardrobe to get our costume and... mine is just short of hideous. High waisted black pants in the style of what they call "mom jeans" that billow out at the hips and make anyone look wide, a belt (!), and a blue and teal green sort of wide striped vertical button down shirt worn tucked in. Coupled with all black sneakers (no mesh or suede or symbols) I look like an old man with huge hips! We are issued everything (except shoes and socks) including a matching windbreaker, winter coat (for when the time comes, as well as hat, scarf and gloves), and clear long rain jacket. Intense! Every item is scanned out with my ID and I can have five out at a time. When they get dirty I scan them back in and they get washed and repaired if need be for me and I can get more. Oh, and the pants run small, everyone has to get them in two sizes LARGER than what they are, so I am back to an 8 (x 32 length) again which was just a bummer even though I know it isn't my "real" size.

I got my locker and put that away and then Ginny took us to the employee cafeteria for lunch. Good prices and surprisingly good food too. After that we walked over to Innoventions and went through the whole building. I met managers and saw the offices and all. I found out I am a presenter in StormSurge! Which is like a 3D movie/show that is about 10 minutes long (aka 17 pages or so of memorizing) that is all me! Ginny said it was like a one woman show. I basically narrate the film as it happens, so I really cannot mess up! Eek! I don't have my script yet so we shall see how it goes. Then we went down to the basement and I did almost 3 hours of standard computer training. Ick. And not only did you have to listen and pay attention but there were mini quizzes after all the sections. I passed them all and clocked out at 4:30. I was walking back through the exhibit when I saw my dad's cousin John there (I don’t know if I mentioned he and his wife Diane retired down there and he is a bus driver and she works outside Innoventions) and my mom and Diane were in one of the exhibits! They were hanging with my mom today and got her in the park free so she could see where I worked and all. I said a quick hi to him and then went and got my costumes and got back on the bus home.

I quickly got ready and met them all at church. It was a HUGE church, less than five minutes from my apartment, but not the homey feeling of my church :( It is mainly a vacation parish, no one really is a "member" there, it is just a lot of tourists and some employees. And when the priest read the gospel he didn't read it as is, he modernized as he read which was just kind of weird to hear. We really don't do that. You read it how it is written for the gospel and use the homily to explain it and make it relevant as needed.

Anyway after that we went to Olive Garden and had a nice dinner. John and Diane are so incredibly nice, they live like ten minutes from me and know all the insider stuff around here and said I could call them for anything. John usually drives guests the late night shift (7pm-3am for example) so he is VERY familiar with all the routes around here and said if I was ever trashed and needed a ride to call at anytime. That probably will not happen but the offer was sweet all the same! After dinner Mom and I went to Target and I got my ugly black shoes... I literally had to buy men's size 7 since there was nothing in women's that fit the criteria. I then dropped Mom off at home and I got a glimpse of the Magic Kingdom fireworks as I drove on Rt 192.

I get to "sleep in" the next day. I don't have to be at work until 12:45 so I am getting on the bus around 11:45 maybe. Then I have what Ginny called the "mind stuffing" where we will get a lot of information thrown at us the first half with more computer quizzes. The second half we get Illuminations duty. Innoventions closes at 7pm everyday and if we are working closing we help set up and control the parade which is called Illuminations. It is something I remember from being 5 years old and there, a huge waterfront parade and fireworks show! I will be seeing it a lot I guess now. And I absolutely love love love fireworks so I am ok with that!

Oh! Mc messaged me that day, he got the box my family and I sent last Saturday! It hasn't even been 2 weeks yet! I have steadily sent Ryan boxes since the fourth and he has yet to get even one! :(

Day Five

Today was the first day I got to hear from Ryan since Day One when he called me during move in. We kept missing one another and it was so so so so so so so sooooooo good to hear his voice. I have missed talking to him so much! He sounded so sad though, it almost broke my heart :(. I thought about him the rest of the day, especially at fireworks duty that night. He would have loved the show and I would have loved to watch it with him by my side. I know things are crazy now since I am training but hopefully I will get a more solid schedule soon and we can talk more. I felt bad the whole phone call backstage, aka where guests cannot go, was right near the ride called Test Track and the cars were zooming by every two seconds at 70 mph during the ten minute call!

Work was actually fun. My feet hurt like hell and the costume was nice and hideous, but it was cool being there! I did some more safety training stuff in the training room, but then Hugh, our trainer, took us through the exhibits and let us watch the shows and see where we work. I have yet to see STORM STRUCK! though which is where I will be! My group had Sarah from yesterday, then a girl from Honduras, one from South Korea, and one from Peru! We were quite a mix! I even got to go into the EPCOT tunnels!!!! I was so excited. The literally only run under Innoventions, so they are much smaller than the Magic Kingdom ones, but it was still cool. As we were walking around I saw Chip and Dale come down and start removing their heads and unzipping the costumes as they walked..... so strange! Especially to go up the stairs and see a fully costumed Chip and Dale waiting to go outside to interact with the guests!!!! They said hi to us, silently naturally, and as we went to leave the tunnels we saw it was POURING yet again. So Chip and Dale did the silent fist pump of victory as they got to go into the air-conditioned indoor character spot instead of the outside one in the sun!

At night I got to do Illuminations Parade duty. It was so cool. Tonight we actually got to watch the whole show so we can say we have seen it all, and we were in the best spot ever. In front of the ropes closer than anyone else!!!! Normally we do crowd control and block off areas and just make sure people aren't stupid, but tonight we just got to watch. Then my second favorite part of the day happened, the first being talking to Ryan! After the fireworks we hurried towards the entrance and stood on the big fountain that is there. We were all given Mickey Mouse stuffed glove hand things and we waved goodbye to all the guests as they left. Everyone had the biggest smiles on their faces as they waved back to us. I got high fives even from ambitious kids who jumped high enough! We all said things like, "Thanks for coming! See you again soon! Goodnight! Thanks again! Good luck finding your car in the parking lot!" It was amazing. Everyone was just so happy and replied to us with so much energy even though we all were exhausted! I hope I get to close a lot, parade duty is amazing and doing that goodbye thing would make me smile even on the worst days. Then I took the bus home and there were all the international kids on my bus! Norway, Mexico, Italy, Germany, Japan, China.... I honestly heard about six different languages on the bus alone! When I got home I then took my room mate Amanda (the one from University of Haiwaii) to Walmart... it still boggles my mind they are 24 hours down here. And it was packed! So she did her grocery shopping and I got home about twelve thirty in the morning....... the latest I had been up since moving here!

Day Six

A day off!!!! Mom, Dad, and Stefan came to my apartment and I moved the rest of my stuff in and then we met Dad’s cousin who got them into Hollywood Studios (aka MGM) for free with me since my passes for guests don’t work yet. I spent the day with them there and it was cool, I love that park! I got to be in a stunt show too in the backlot studio tour! I was the Crazy deckhand who got shot at and completely soaked!

But sad news..... I went to the Indiana Jones stunt show and as we’re leaving this bitch knocked me from behind and made me drop my camera and it broke! My camera is like it is a part of me first of all, but this is the camera Ryan gave me for our anniversary. It means so much to me and I honestly cried right there in the park. It won’t work anymore. :(

When I got home though I made dinner and then my phone rang... Don’t Stop Believin! It was Ryan! That is his ringtone!!!!!! It was after six so it was late for him so I was surprised. We got to really really talk for about half an hour and it was great to hear his voice. Then he had to go, so I sadly finished dinner and then my phone rang again! He had to call me back as he wanted to talk more and I loved it. So I got over an hour to talk to him. But then when he went to say goodbye this time I kind of lost it. I honestly started crying which just came out of nowhere. I felt awful for doing it but we talked a bit more than I calmed down.

I went outside to relax a bit and breathe and I met the guys who live across the hall from me who just moved in. One is going to be Tigger in Magic Kingdom! Pretty cool. We chatted a bit then I came back in here and compiled this way too long of a post. Thanks for reading if anyone did! Tomorrow my best friend Sam is coming here and seeing the place then the family and us are going to a park to hang out. And Jess, my friend from school, is coming too! Yay!

Whew.

I arrived!

I am basically almost all moved in, but I have NO INTERNET! *dies* I have been struggling with that. Mainly it is because it is the primary way I talk to Ryan so it has been sucky. Basically the people in the apartment before me stole the modem! So hence the no internet. They should be in within the next day or two to fix it. Just a heads up, then I can write about my new life in Disney thus far!