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So, this post was written on July 25th and.... I never published it. The next few entries are sort of a catch up for me so stick with me if you can!


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Our little man came home on Tuesday July 19, just one day shy of being three weeks old. It has been crazy and amazing. We are loving every moment and Dup Dup keeps trying to give her "brother" kisses!

Here are our pictures leaving the NICU together (finally!) and going home.

It has been almost a week and Will is already getting so big!

Our baby boy is now almost three months old!! I will get this blog caught up eventually,  I promise!

Life in the NICU

For twenty days our little man lived in the NICU. Being he was nearly six weeks early he still had some growing to do, particularly his heart and lungs. He would have "Brady episodes" where his heart rate and oxygen saturation levels would drop... he usually came out of them on his own but a few were bad enough he had to be stimulated (patted on the back for minor and given oxygen for major) since he started to turn dusky from lack of oxygen. Until he could go five days without a Brady (preterm) or three days post term (37 weeks gestation timeframe), we were staying. Ryan and I were fortunate enough that for the first week of his life we had the option to "room in" at the Naval Hospital. Basically by day four I was discharged but they had extra space so we were allowed to just stay in the room we were in until it was needed again. Since it was the fourth of July long weekend the hospital was pretty deserted. On the day Will turned a week old the hospital got busy again and we sadly had to go home. The staff gave us the option to stay at the Fisher House, but we knew if we had to get in the car and drive regardless we might as well be at home. Fortunately we don't live that far from base so coming back and forth was not too difficult.

My schedule would be to wake up at 8am to get to the hospital by his 9am feeding. I would stay usually through his noon feeding for sure but some days even through his 3pm feeding depending on what I needed to do that day, grabbing a lunch in the galley or cafe. I would do all his changings and feedings and help with his vitals when I was at the hospital. I would usually then go run errands or just go home and eat dinner and shower before returning to the hospital for his 9pm feedings. Some nights I'd stay until close to midnight, others I'd go home by 10:30, and we'd repeat the next day. Ryan, depending on his schedule, would usually come with me at the night feeding and hang out for awhile, or he'd stop by in the late afternoon depending on his schedule with classes and other things.

We tried to make his room and bed personalized and comfortable even if he didn't know the difference. The Lil Man bib we were given was perfect for showing off his nickname that has stuck from birth! Even the nurses and doctors were calling him that. The flag was given to us at his baby shower as "baby's first flag" and we had to bring that in with us for the fourth of July! The blanket he is laying on in the above photo is actually one the NICU gave us that volunteers donated for the babies... he ended up with two nice little blankets and a hat.

Being in the NICU is extremely difficult. It is not natural to leave your baby and walk away and then drive away knowing they are left behind. Don't get me wrong, his doctors and nurses were truly fantastic and I am so grateful for all of them, but it broke my heart every time I left my baby. I cried on more than one occasion, and I am sure post partum hormones did not help matters. I also tried to breastfeed for twelve days and sadly we couldn't make it work. Since I had a breast reduction there was always the risk I wouldn't be able to, but my supply just never fully came in. He was only allowed to breastfeed twice a day as it would exhaust him and burn calories so I had to pump the other feedings and I would never get more than a few milliliters... and the longer that went on the more likely it was that it just wouldn't improve. So at twelve days we had to throw in the towel, but at least he got something from me! That added stress did not help for awhile, that's for sure.

It isn't easy to see your baby hooked up to a mess of tubes and wires either. A feeding tube, sensors that tracked his heart rate, oxygen saturation, and respiratory rate were just some of the many things our little man was hooked up to. He also at different points had an IV and had to be under the UV lights because of his bili score (jaundice). They also tried giving him caffeine to help stimulate his heart as well as vitamin D in his feedings.

The days he had to be under the lights were the worst for me. He could only be held at feeding times for half an hour and then had to be put back... no extra mommy snuggles. By the time he ate and burped our half an hour was nearly over. Add in the fact mommy, daddy, and other people all want to hold him and there isn't much time! He also had to wear a mask over his eyes that he absolutely hated.

This photo above was taken on the day I left the hospital to go home when he was a week old. It was my last little snuggle before I had to get in the car and drive away and I think I cried from the first moment I held him until we got in to our house. Even with both our moms there I still had to go in the shower and cry as it was just an awful feeling. Seeing the "Welcome Baby Will" banner over our fireplace and the nursery all set and Will being across town was just so wrong for me.

Our growly man had a personality from the start though. He loved to be held and snuggled and he hated having his blood pressure or temperature taken. We jokingly said he would be the first case of baby hypertension because when he got mad his heart rate would jump into the 180s or even 200s!

Once his feeding tube was removed he looked like a different baby! He took to bottle feeding like a champ and began to look more and more like his daddy every day. To go home all feedings had to be done by mouth so this was a big step in the right direction for him!

To get sent home he had to pass a few tests, including his hearing test. I think he looked like an adorable little funkmaster DJ with the headphones and hat on, but that's just me! He passed with flying colors.

On Sunday we were able to give our little guy a bath for the first time (for us, not him). Since his umbilical cord was still on we had to just lay down pads and wash him from a bucket with no immersing, but it worked really well and he seemed ok with it! His cord came off the next day naturally, so he is good to go for future baths!

The other big test he had to pass was his car seat test. He had to sit in his car seat for an hour and a half without having a Brady. He nearly failed at first because within the first half an hour he was trying so hard to poop he gave himself a small Brady! Luckily the nurses knew why and didn't count it as a full Brady since he was awake and alert and it was under ten seconds... the Bradys in his sleep were much more worrisome. He did restart his test and do nearly two hours in the seat but he passed!

Today we were able to bring our Little Man home, one day shy of him being three weeks old. I know our NICU stay was not as long or difficult as some families, but it still was not easy for sure. I am so glad that at this moment my husband is giving our son a bottle in his room just so I could update my blog for a few moments. I am lucky we fight over who gets to hold him and snuggle him. I am lucky my son is healthy. I am lucky he is finally home.

Let the chaos officially begin! Our lives as we knew them will never be the same.

Christmas 2014

This Christmas Ryan and I decided to stay home and celebrate with just the two of us. We were expecting him originally to work through the holiday and when we found out he was off we decided to not stress with travel and stick with our original plan of staying home. As much as I missed seeing my family, it was nice to have this memory together. I worked Christmas Eve and then met Ryan at church on base for mass. It was beautiful in the church but outside it was pouring rain all day. At least it was warm, a balmy mid 70s for Christmas... very unusual for this Jersey girl!

 

After mass we went home and had a nice dinner (care of Honeybaked Ham Co to be honest!) that we just had to heat and put out. It was delicious and the Dup was begging at our sides for most of it.

After we ate we watched some TV together and I learned my husband had never seen It's A Wonderful Life. It was naturally on TV so I made him watch even though we missed part of the beginning. That is a classic that must be watched! We then exchanged one present for that night.... mainly because Ryan got me some cozy pajamas he wanted me to wear that night and for Christmas morning. I gave him the tablet he knew he was getting since he picked it out! He spent the rest of the evening adding his coursework to it and being geekily excited about the entire thing.

 

 

Christmas morning we had some left over ham and biscuits and exchanged presents. First we spoiled the Dup who was very excited (if not a little confused) about getting treats and presents. Her giant bone became her prized possession and she carried it around for three days before she realized she could eat it... then it vanished! Her stocking was full of stuff for her to destroy and only one toy survived the Christmas shredding, but she was occupied all day with them at least.

All of that kind of wore her out (overly stimulated much?) and she napped the rest of the day in a sun beam!

 

 

Ryan and I did the presents thing, he enjoyed his super large coffee pot and 24 hour vacuum sealed thermos I got him (as well as socks and exotic jerkey plus his stocking) and I cannot wait for my spa day he customized for me! I also got more pretty pajamas and a stocking with plenty of chocolate in it.

 

We spent most of the day watching A Christmas Story but then watched A Muppet Christmas Carol and White Christmas to break it up. Then my friend Donna came over, we ordered Chinese food and we opened a bottle of champagne to watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special. So it was a different Christmas for sure, but still very very enjoyable. I hope you and yours had a fantastic holiday and have a Happy New Year!

 

 

Winners and a bit else...

Congratulations!!! Ladies, send me an email with your address and your prizes shall arrive shortly. The top winner wins the Emulsion Pens and the bottom winner wins the Daisies.

Thank you to all who entered.... expect another give away very soon!

Also, just an update. Although my parents do not live in New Jersey anymore they still own our house (it is currently being rented). Today my dad sent me the pictures of the storm and damage and it broke my heart. I know it isn't as bad as it could be, but seeing all the trees I grew up with lying flat and our barn hit plus our roof damaged.... well it wasn't a great email to receive.

Luckily no one was hurt and everything of course can be repaired. In the top right picture of the collage you can see the tarp covering the roof which was exactly over my old room and my parents' old room. Sigh. I hope everyone up north is safe and recovering and gets power back soon!

Also, this is my 600th post. Crazy.

Enjoy your Halloween, stay safe!

Small World

Everyone will always tell you it is a small world. Since I have been married to Ryan I have heard it is an even smaller Marine Corps. Someone will always know someone or have been stationed with someone you knew. This week that really rang true with me.

I am sure most people have heard about the six Marines stationed in Hawaii killed in the helicopter crash in Afghanistan. One of them was from New Jersey. I did not know him personally but we had mutual friends... I discovered this on Facebook. Cpl Kevin Reinhard went to the all boys Catholic high school near me and graduated high school the same year I did. I went to middle school with some of his classmates. He went to college in NJ with some of my friends from my younger years.

Seeing that made me cry. I can't lie.

I also got angry.

When I first heard about the crash it was a thirty second blip on tv on CNN. They were barely mentioned. Yet when Marines are found doing unsavory things, like the urinating on dead bodies, you hear about it non stop. Why are those who gave their lives for their country just a blip? Why are they a small link on the fifth page on the AOL homepage when the bad story is on the front page with a huge picture?

I know the bad news always takes priority in anything. The evils of the world always seem to make bigger headlines than the poignant stories that people should be more aware of. I was telling this to Ryan last night and he was very matter of fact about it. They don't do what they do for a pat on the back or thanks and honor and glory. They do it for a higher calling, because they think it is the right thing to do. If they wanted a job with that level of praise they were in the wrong career field. He never expects anyone to thank him, and in fact it surprises him when they do. He is incredibly humble, I've seen it.

Yet if we are at a rest stop and a WWII vet or a Vietnam vet is wearing a hat or jacket saying so, my husband will be the first to shake their hand and say thank you. I am trying to get better at that too.

Thank you to Captain Daniel B. Bartle, 27, of Ferndale, Washington; Captain Nathan R. McHone, 29, of Crystal Lake, Illinois; Master Sergeant Travis W. Riddick, 40, of Centerville, Iowa; Corporal Jesse W. Stites, 23 of North Beach Maryland, Corporal Kevin J. Reinhard, 25, of Colonia, New Jersey; and Corporal Joseph D. Logan, 22, of Willis, Texas. Your sacrifice is not something I can put into words, but thank you. Thank you for answering to a higher calling and doing what you felt had to be done. Thank you to your families. May all six of you rest in peace.

Priorities people. Priorities.

500

This is post number 500. I cannot believe it! 500 posts... it feels like just yesterday I started this blog when in all actuality it will be three years ago this June. Over the past two and a half years I have blogged about pre-deployment leave, deployment, Disney internships, an engagement, a wedding, our first year of marriage, re-enlistement and now our separation as Ryan is in school 3,000 miles away. Crazy isn't it?

Anyway... my baking is done!



Hershey hugs on pretzels with M&Ms! Yum (:



And my husband is home!!! His plane landed at 10pm last night and he is probably still sleeping at home while I am at work.

About six clients are here. Total. Usually there is about 40. Most plan on leaving early. We are here til 5. Thanks work. Love it. It is SO dead. Ryan and I are driving to South Carolina tonight for Christmas with his family, so I wish all of you and yours a Blessed and Merry Christmas!!!!


I'll leave you with this, I cannot resist sharing! A package came for a client that we tried to repack to a smaller box to forward and couldn't...



That would be a Scientology ornament thing. It was paper/cardboard complete with L Ron Hubbard quote. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Scientology infinity thing!

Weekend in Jersey

This past weekend my mom was going to be in New Jersey for a craft show at church. Knowing my mom was four hours away instead of eight I drove up Friday night to spend the weekend with her. It officially had been the longest time we have ever gone without seeing one another! July to November. I know it isn't a lot, but it was for us!

My drive up Friday was long. Lots of construction and accidents, so instead of an hour to get to my usual rest stop it took me two. Luckily. I still had my favorite radio station, country of course, 98.7 WMZQ playing a lot longer than I should have. I was about ten miles from the rest stop when the DJ said caller nine right now wins tickets to see Miranda Lambert. I always try so I thought, What the hell? I picked up my phone and got the number out of my contacts (I told you, I try a lot!) and it rang.

On the first try it rang.

AND I WON!

No usual hang up, redial, hang up, redial. One shot, boom I am through!!!!

I am going to my FIRST country concert in January... for free!!! SO pumped!



Anyway, I got into Jersey around 11:30pm. My mom was at my grandparents' house and she didn't tell them I was coming, so they had a nice surprise! I slept in my old room and it was strange... I don't even remember the last time I spent the night there. We used to live 45 minutes away, plenty of visiting... so it was cool. I felt like a little kid again in a way.

We had to get up early the next day to get my mom to the church, but we did enjoy breakfast together first.

I dropped my mom off at church then went and got my oil changed. You get a free exterior car wash with an oil change so I went to watch my car go through and I saw these...



Guns to shoot water at your car! You bet your bottom dollar I used them all. I don't care if they were for kids, it was fun!!!

I then went to our friend Fran's house and took a much needed shower before napping on their couch. Pretty much all afternoon. I then drove and met my mom at the church and on my way I saw these!




It was a little chilly, I am sure especially out there, but I love seeing them in Jersey. Also there were tons of trees down from the freak snow storm last week. No snow, but plenty of damage.



Anyway we went to mass and then out to Fridays. I had a gift card for Kohls and we went there and I ended up getting early Christmas treatment from Mom (: I spent more than my gift card for sure but I really needed sweaters and stockings for work! I love them all.

We then went back to Fran's and had the night talking to her, her husband Rob, and their kids Chris and Nicole. Chris is my brother Stefan's best friend and I cannot believe how big he got! Freshman boys are huge. Dear Lord. Nicole grew too! We watched some football (Sad day Gamecocks, but woohoo Tigers!) and then went to bed.

The next morning I went to the church again and mom told me we had to go look at the house.



My parents couldn't sell the house so we have renters for at least a year before trying again. I was aprehensive, I didn't want to go see the house I grew up in from six years old on with other people in it. But I am glad I did... it was definitely closure. It wasn't my house anymore. It is definitely a country house and they have all this modern furniture in it that just does not work. And they totally were smoking in there. It kind of upset me to see the house in such a way as we checked the hot tub and furnace, but it definitely made me realize that is not my home anymore.

Back at the church Craft Fair I sold raffle tickets and walked around. I got an awesome wine purse (giraffe pattern) as well as a delicious sausage and pepper sandwich. And a meatball sandwich for good measure. Man I miss Jersey food! My two aunts came to the show too with one of my cousins and it was great to see them as well.

Then it was back on the road for me. Gas was SO cheap I had to take a picture...



Luckily the drive home was quicker and I got to see the Giants win! GO BIG BLUE!

I am glad I had the time with my mom. It has been a long time since it was just us two and I really miss her. We talk on the phone daily but it is so much better to be together in person.



Totally worth eight hours in the car (:

Leave - 2 Weeks

Before being married to someone in the military I never imagined I would like the word Leave. It usually means someone is going away, saying good bye... but in the military it is an awesome thing. It means my husband is home and not just home, but home for more than 48 hours! I had two whole weeks of having Ryan home. Man did I get spoiled!

Not only did I have my husband home, but he did so much around the house so when I came home from work we could just spend time together. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, dry cleaning, grocery shopping... see? Spoiled! We went out to dinner to some of our favorite restaurants, we played Monopoly at McDonalds (anyone got a Boardwalk? :P), watched Netflix and movies, watched the Gamecocks, went shooting, hiking... we had a busy two weeks! A lot of weekdays were low key as I did have work the next day but coming home to snuggle on the couch with Ryan and a glass of wine made my days worthwhile.

Of course Ryan flew into BWI, 45 minutes away, and his flight was due to land at 12:45 am. Yea. And it was delayed. So I didn't get him until almost 2am! It was so wonderful to see him again, I amy have jumped on him in the airport. It is becoming a trend.

We kept it low key Saturday but Sunday we went to the Renaissance Festival!



I wait all year for Cheesecake on a Stick. AMAZING



I am convinced the food makes it. Macaroni and Cheese on a Stick, Scotch Eggs... oh no I am getting hungry!



The Hubby enjoys Mac N Cheese on a Stick too!



Then we went to juggling school. Ryan was pretty good.



I on the otherhand look terrified of the tennis balls.



But my concentration was totally there!!!



Then Mr. Show Off did it one handed :P



Jousting!



Kyndra, Tim and Boyfriend Bentlee joined us too. Check out those eyes! He is such an adorable baby!



Husband and Boyfriend bonded a bit. The last time Ryan saw Bentlee he was only a few weeks old!



We're dorks and had a blast. We have gone the last two years now, and I hope wherever we PCS next has one close by! I need my Renn Fest fix, if nothing else then for the food!!!



I think Tim and Kyndra had fun too (:

Sadly I did have to work during the week when Ryan was home. We need to save my time off for the ball and holidays, so Ryan enjoyed sleeping til noon and running errands and watching Mad Men until I got off of work! We'd go out to eat or shopping (many shoes were involved in the process!) and then try and go out for definite on the weekends.

Like to Great Falls. It is a special place for us and we go every fall. It was here Ryan first told me that he loved me, so it is definitel uber special.



Plus with the leaves changing it was gorgeous. We grabbed some Subway sandwiches and made our way out to the park and enjoyed lunch on a giant rock in the ravine.



A lot of these are sort of dark, the sun was setting and on my camera display these looked a lot lighter than when I uploaded them :( One day I will know how to take pretty pictures darnit.



Ryan had to give me a heart attack and climb sheer rock cliff faces. No rope, no gear... just him. High in the air above the churning river. He went camping out in Joshua Tree Park while he was in school and climbed one big boulder so now he is an expert.

Oy.



Some perspective... the kayaker in the water, then Ryan, then me zoomed in way up top taking the darn picture.



But he made it. Thankfully!



I made him have to sit for a picture with me after scaring the bejeezus out of me on the cliffs! Self timers are a wonderful thing sometimes!


Insert another work week here. Then Halloween! (Well, a party Friday before) I used Color Oops to take the red out of my hair (sigh, I miss it) for Halloween and the Ball. My red hair just did not work with the dress I have so I knew I'd be stripping it anyway. The Color Oops got most of the red out, but it is definitely strawberry blonde ish more than straight blonde. I think it will get there though. I mean, I used washable dye in the first place!

What were our Halloween Costumes?



Alice and the Mad Hatter!!!



Alice is my favorite costume, this is the third year I have been it! Once I was about 5, then in college, and now. And probably next year. We actually spent money for costumes this year, they will be worn again!

Sunday we went to the shooting range. Because that is how we roll!



I did better this time! Even some bullseyes!



Of course Mr. Marine blew me out of the water. As it should be! There would be a problem if I could shoot better than a former infantryman!



I did ok though.



We also got a fun card game target and tried to get high scores... I just tried to hit the darn things!



After shooting we went to church and then to our favorite Italian place, Trattoria Franco. It was the same place we ate the last time he left... but we do love it. That cannoli was awesome. We also had calamari, veal, and wine. We even got to meet Franco briefly.

As we got home we realized it was Mischief Night and decided we wanted to cause some Mischief.

"What should we do?"

".... Tape Adam into his apartment?"

Genius. I surprise myself sometimes!

We had some painters tape/masking tape stuff that has sat in our closet for over a year, so we used that. Ryan cleaned the gun and I made long strips of tape to hang from our doorway and bookcase. Once we used up the roll we carried them upstairs. Sure some got tangled and we were whisper fighting up the stairs trying to be stealthy, but we did it! Adam said later he thought he heard something, but we didn't alert him or his neighbors dog!



Adjusting the first layer.



We ran out of tape so we thought we could use something more...



Paper towels and duct tape it is!!! Job well done!



Adam was a little surprised when he got Ryan's text asking him to come outside and smoke! We just heard "What the ****?" And saw him slowly punch his way out!


Saying goodbye was hard as usual, but at least we don't have to go too long. I go out to 20 Palms on the 17th for the ball. Cannot wait!

OH! We got IPHONES! No more flip phone for this girl! I am so addicted... and Tango is the best app ever, it is like facetime/video chat but it can use 3G or wifi, best ever!

Sorry for the picture heavy post, I had some ground to make up!