MilSpouse Quiz

I have seen this quiz floating around so I wanted to give it a try!

The Milspouse Quiz

1. How did you and your spouse meet?

Ryan and I met at a Saint Patrick's Day party my junior year of college. It was at an off campus house named "Big Blue" and hosted by my fellow theatre majors. You didn't have to be in our major to come to the party, friends of friends always found a way. My best friend at the time Megan invited her freshman year room mate Taylor who invited her Marine boyfriend Brandon who invited Ryan and his two friends, Joey and Wes, because he needed a ride anyway. Yea... it is a miracle we met in that confusion! Ryan saw me talking on the porch and asked me about the shamrock I had painted on my cheek (Catholic University had a slightly large Irish population...) but I was oblivious and nearly blew him off! Luckily he was persistant and we talked most of the night. He friended me on facebook that night and we went on our first date two months later.

2. How old were you when you two met?

I was 20 (and a half) and Ryan had turned 20 about three weeks prior. I am about five months older and I tease him about it all the time!

3. How long have you been together?

We will be married two years on May 1st and 'together' four years as of May 8th

4. Where are you and your spouse originally from?

I was born in Carteret NJ and grew up mostly in Neshanic Station NJ... small small town. Ryan was born and raised in Lexington, SC.

5. How did you feel about him joining the military?

I had no comment! He was in for nearly two years when we met! When he re-enlisted however it was a choice we decided would be best for the both of us and our family, difficult though it may be. Ryan was a Marine when I met him and always will be... even when he retires. I think he will have a bumper sticker like my Poppy does, "Marines don't die, they just go to hell and regroup"

6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training?

He went to Boot Camp on Parris Island (about 65 years after my Poppy had gone!) and then SOI and MCT were basically at Chesapeake and LeJeune. For his re-enlistment he is now going through BEC and his other schooling in 29 Palms CA to become a Ground Radio Technician.

7. Has your spouse ever been deployed?

Yes, to Iraq in 2009. We were just dating then, not married.

8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony?

No sadly. He picked up Corporal when we were engaged and I was living in NJ, he told me not to drive down and miss work, it was no big deal. Then he picked up Sergeant in 29 Palms last month, a bit too far! But I have been to his re-enlistment ceremony.

9. How long have you been a military wife?

Since I have been married, according to my blog ticker, 1 year 8 months 1 week and 2 days.

10. Did you marry him before or after he joined?

Way after.

11. How did your husband propose?

The short story, when he came to visit me in Disney after he got back from Iraq. I was still working there and he knew I loved the EPCOT Fireworks show Illuminations. He got down on one knee in the middle of the fireworks show by the lake in front of Italy in the World Showcase. You can read the whole story here.

12. Where did you get married?

At the church I basically grew up in... Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton Roman Catholic Church in Three Bridges NJ. Our reception was at the Grand Colonial, about half an hour from there.

13. How old were you two when you got married?

We were both 22.

14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day?

Of course! As did all his groomsmen (minus my little brother), my grandfather and his grandfather.

15. Where are you and your spouse currently stationed?

Technically that is a difficult question. He is in school at 29 Palms, but not officially stationed there. I live in Virginia since he was stationed last at 8th and I in Washington DC. We still collect DC BAH and I still go to the barracks for things, such as laundry. As of April we will have a more definitive answer to this!

16. Do you live on base?

No. 8th and I does not have a base technically, it is just a barracks... so we couldn't even if we wanted to. Ryan does live on base in 29 Palms in the barracks.

17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation?

Surprisingly we got super spoiled. Our first separation happened two months after our first anniversary. 8th and I is basically non deployable, so until Ryan started school August 1, 2011, we did not have to be separated. August 1 2011 - April 12 2012 is the total time.

18. What is your favorite base so far?

We have only technically been stationed at 8th and I. When he did his deployment work up in 2009 Ryan was at Quantico, which was pretty nice. 29 Palms... I visited once and although the views are gorgeous I don't really want to live there!

19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform?

Of course. He looks good in anything, but he is quite dashing in uniform... whether it is cammies, Charlies or his Blues.

20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life?

Advanced? How so? In the sense we have to bond together more, perhaps, but there is still drama regardless!

21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent?

I suppose. I feel bad using them almost. I hate having to ask if discounts are offered (so I usually don't) for military. My husband is in, not me... he deserves the perks! Ryan would argue that I put up with enough that I deserve them too, but I still feel weird about some of it!

22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends?

Locally I hang out with one other wife Kyndra, her husband Tim is friends with Ryan. I had another girl who Ryan worked with her husband, but once my husband wasn't her husband's NCO anymore she suddenly wasn't my friend.... nice right? Kyndra is wonderful and I love her though! Naturally I then have my blogging friends who are all amazing whether I have yet to meet them in person or not!

23. What is the hardest part of the military life?

I want to instantly jump and say deployments... but really any separation. Even though Ryan is safe and in country and we can text and call every day or even visit when the funds arise... it is so hard to be apart from the person you love. So so so hard. I bet whether they are in training, across the country, or across the world that empty place in your heart twinges,.

24. Do you own military wife stuff?

Not really "wife" stuff. I have a bull dog keychain from my Poppy and a USMC ribbon on my car. Then we have this awesome sign in our dining room and a few other little things. Plus I commandeer my husband's sweatshirts all the time.

25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military?

Of course. I am so proud of him and I will always support him.

So fellow MilSpouse buddies... give it a go! I am curious to see what your answers are!

When Prayers Are Answered

I cannot thank you ladies enough for the kind comments you left me. It has been hectic crazy, but I plan on going through my email soon and replying to each and every one of you. (Also: I did not mean to imply anyone who wants to EAS does so in a negative manner. I know there are people with families who want to get out and do a different line of work or go to school, I did not mean them. It is more something that is very prevalent at 8th and I where a lot of people just have no desire to be there and cannot wait to just get out. They have given up on the Corps and are very negative towards it. )

We went to church yesterday and I kneeled down and prayed harder than I had in a long, long time. I think the last time I prayed so hard was when Ryan was in Iraq. I saw my husband praying too. I paid attention the entire mass, no wandering thoughts for this girl. (You know, sometimes when the sunbeam hits the priest's head in just the right way and reflects off and you wander with the sunbeam... it happens!) Ryan had his arm around me or held my hand the entire mass. We prayed together. For an answer, a solution, something to get us through.

During mass they discussed an upcoming retreat and Ryan shocked the hell out of me when he said he wanted to go. Sadly when we looked at the information table we saw it was the weekend of our first wedding anniversary and decided against it. But I had another idea. Lent is a time of abstaining, sacrifice, and alms giving in the Catholic church. Ryan already gave up all alcohol for lent (gotta love my Baptist husband, I never expected him to do this with me!) except for wine (because Jesus drank it) and I gave up soda.

Well we agreed this week we were going to give up wine as well. Sacrifice/Abstaining. And we decided to go to the 7pm nightly mass every day this week. Also a sacrifice of sorts. We also grabbed an bag to make an Easter basket for newborns and moms to bring back next week. When we went to the commissary we loaded up on newborn diapers (Ryan was shocked at the price... oy), wipes, lotion, bottles, and pacifiers. Alms giving.

So we have our plan. We're still calling in our favors with anyone who many know anyone. One of my clients at work today said a retired Major General was willing to talk to Ryan and see if he could help. I get the number and go to call Ryan. No answer.

Then I get this text message:
I got Ground Radio Technician. Don'y know where yet and nothing is in writing. It has been verbally stated by headquarters that I am approved!


!!!!!!!


What does this mean?

Well, it is 95% certain my husband can stay in the USMC. To be in this MOS basically the Head of it told his Career Planner he would take Ryan if he had taken Algebra in high school. Ryan took Algebra I and II. So Ryan got his transcript, the Career Planner got his package together, and it was sent to the head of Radio Ops. The Career Planner is hoping to call Ryan by 16:30 with more information.

Nothing is in writing yet. We don't know the when or the where yet, but to quote my husband, "Things went from looking really, really bad to pretty damn good."

We still plan on going to church all week, if not for the original intent of prayer for hope for our future but in thanksgiving.

Ladies, thank you so much for your good thoughts and prayers for our family. Please keep them coming a little longer if you can.

And of course once I know, you will know.



On a different note: As many of you know the "A Final Goodbye" post from {mis}adventures of an army wife has been circulating the military spouse community. According to comments left on her blog Jessica has been located and is safe, received treatment. Bloggers, I hope you all know anytime you feel alone and need to reach out to anyone, I am here. Email me anytime at imyewneek@yahoo.com. You are NOT alone and you ARE loved.

New Milspouse by J

J's blog It's a Dog Tag Wife Life is one of the newer ones I have stumbled upon lately and I love it! She is a terrific writer and a brand new MilSpouse! Congratulations on your recent wedding and welcome to the life. Your entry definitely made me go, "Awww..." (:

Hi there, I'm J from over at It's a Dog Tag Wife Life. Thanks so much to Allie for having me and good luck with your surgery! I'm actually a very new military spouse. We were married on 1/1/11. Cool, huh? And it was an awesome wedding. But that's not what I want to talk about. It's remembering why you're having a wedding. Several years ago the hunny (my other half) and I met. Actually, we got married on our third anniversary, but I digress. Before the wedding, there was a lot of stress. Things his mom wanted, things my mom wanted. Our guest list spiraling out of control (we wanted 100 guests and had around 150). Any bride can tell you there is stress. One of my best friends had to change her ceremony location two weeks before her wedding because the beach she had booked had a jazz festival going on that same night!

As I was sitting there, two nights before our wedding, crying my eyes out because our printer wasn't working and it was 2 am and I couldn't print our stupid programs, the hunny came in and helped me out. He didn't yell at me for being overly emotional. He didn't ask me how I broke the printer (which I hadn't, it just didn't like the thick paper). He didn't even give me a sigh of frustration. He just came in, took over calmly, and got as many programs done as he could that night.

When he saw me crying, he turned in the chair and had me come sit on his lap. He then told me, "It doesn't matter if these programs don't get printed. It doesn't matter if our flowers don't arrive. It doesn't matter if your dress isn't perfect or none of our guests show up. Our wedding is about us getting married and that's the most important thing." ::Collective "Awwwww"::

And it helped. I had been so caught up in the planning and the stressing that when it really came down to it, none of it did matter. As long as he and I were married by the end of the day, that was the most important thing. And I remind myself through our times as we go along, that since he loves me (and I him) that we can get through everything. Because the world might be crumbling around us, and some days it will feel like that, but we have each other.

So for all you ladies out there who have husbands that are abroad serving, or even home (because that's no picnic either) remember why you got married. It's not for the increase in BAH or to get benefits. It all started because you loved each other and that should help you get through deployments, PCSing, and every other thing that will get thrown your way.

And yes, I do still have stars in my eyes and that's why it's such a lovey post.

[insert title here]

Sorry I have been slacking!

Welcome new followers! I nearly fell over when I saw how many more I got. I know it isn't a whole lot a lot but it made me quite happy. I know you came through my guest blogging stint at Flip Flops and Combat Boots so thank you!

I have been exhausted all week. Working at the day camp and the commute plus having some opera shows at night just drains me! Especially when I come home and cook or clean or do other things. Last night after dinner I went to lie down. Ryan and I kept saying we wouldn't fall asleep. I had to shower, make my lunch, we had dinner dishes, and it made me smile when he said I had to update my blog.

Well we passed out. I woke up at 11pm, changed into a night shirt, and passed out again. We were so zonked we didn't even feel the 3.6 magnitude earthquake that hit the DC area around 5am! Seriusly, an earthquake in DC?! I heard it on the radio when I got in the car to go to work and actually almost drove off the road. My first earthquake and I sleep through it... :P

So here is where my real entry comes, bear with me.



There is a rumor Ryan may get orders at the end of parade season.

This is really hard for me to wrap my brain around. When Ryan and I were just engaged and planning our wedding he had planned to stay in the Corps. I accepted the fact that come next May he would re-up and we'd move. A month or so ago he blew me away when he said he didn't want to re-enlist after all. He wanted to get a security job within the government and we'd stay in DC. Great.

Now apparently his Captain is fighting for him to get orders post parade season, September/October. I didn't prepare for that! I thought we had a year! We love our apartment, the area we live in... it will be hard to leave that so quickly. Ryan says it makes no sense for him to get orders. But because it makes no sense it has a high chance of happening since that is how the Corps works! If we move he'd do a deployment work up, but his contract would be over before he would deploy! But I know my husband, if he trained a work up with these guys he would not not deploy with them. He'd extend his contract for the deployment and then maybe get out then. Or just stay in. Now he is unsure.

Where would we go?

We don't know. California is mostly all deployed at that point and apprently are not taking new guys, so that's out. Our biggest chance is North Carolina... which scares me a bit as I would have not much to do there (at all) career wise.

I am a natural worrier, I am going through all this in my head and driving myself crazy. Ryan tells me, "Cut it out." Helpful isn't he? :P I know that worrying doesn't help but it isn't like I can flip a switch. Ryan said we have to mentally prepare for the damn possibility of this move but physically live here like nothing will change. I should look for a job for fall and just hope I am here to do it (if I get one!).

I just want to know one way or the other. Silly for a Marine wife right??

Thoughts?

Married Life

"So how is married life?"

That is the most common question I get lately. Since the honeymoon, whenever I talk to anyone, that question nearly always comes up within the first five minutes of conversation. Not that it is a bad thing, but I definitely was not expecting it to be so prevelant! I am not sure how to answer it really either. I mean, great? Ryan and I finally can be together longer than a weekend or a vacation, of course it is wonderful. Sure we bicker every now and then, it isn't always golden light and angels flying around doing hallelujiah choruses. But every night when he holds my hand for us to say grace, my heart melts. When we cuddle on the couch to watch a DVD I am so happy to just be there.

I love making dinner for us and eating together. I don't mind the cleaning or the chores or going to the barracks to do free laundry. I love falling asleep next to him and waking up next to him... even if it is absurdly early just to kick him out of bed so he won't be late.

But how do you fit all that in? How do you say it without sounding overly sappy or mushy? I just smile, shrug, and say, "It's great."

I hope that's enough. Otherwise I would really bore people!!!!

Internet Countdown: 12 Days!

VA Beach 2010, one of THOSE vacations

So I am currently Stage Managing an opera for the Fringe Festival (with some of the same wonderful people from last year) and it is AMAZING to be back in real theatre again. Even for opera. Even teching. (: But there is WiFi on campus and I will totally take advantage of that. When I am not writing blocking notes in my score.

For Memorial Day Ryan and I decided to take our first vacation as a married couple and drive down to Virginia Beach. Ryan had a rare 72 (rare during parade season at any rate) so we definitely wanted to go back to his old stomping ground. I had never been, but when Ryan was in BSG and SOI at Chesapeake he would go there ALL the time with the guys. Away we go!

Now I will warn you right now, this is going to turn into one of those vacations where we had some snafus that someday we will laugh about. Someday.

We left Saturday afternoon on the four hour drive and it wasn't too bad. Not really any traffic for the most part and we just chatted the whole way down. There was an amber alert on 95 which kind of jarred us a bit, it isn't easy seeing that sign every mile and having that heightened awareness hoping you DO see the car and can help. Oy.

We get to VA Beach and it took us three hotels to find one with vacancy! But we eventually found the Seahawk Motel and took the last room! YES! Ocean view, fifth floor, glorious. The first night we just walked around. We even got corny matching tshirts (I was so shocked he was on board for this!). Mine said I <3 MY CRAZY HUSBAND, VA BEACH and his said I <3 MY CRAZY WIFE, VA BEACH. Once I upload my pictures (yea yea I know) I will post one here. People loved them! Everyone kept asking us where we got them and even taking pictures of us. It was pretty funny. Ryan tried to drag me into the Haunted House (NO WAY) and we settled for some Pirate Mini Golf. He kicked my butt. Then we got good pizza at Doughboys and then went to a bar called LunaSea (get it?). We went back to the hotel and sat on our balcony watching the waves for awhile before crashing with some Dane Cook standup on tv.

Day 2 was beach day. We woke up and saw dolphins swimming from our balcony. We went to Honeybees for the delicious breakfast buffet and walked back to the beach. The air was hot. The sand was hot. The water was freezing. So we set up camp and I lie around for awhile, digesting. Ryan tried to swim but it was too cold! So I eventually went down with him and slowly in we went. Numb. I was numb. Oh so numb. It was so so so so cold! We're swimming around and all of a sudden I hear Ryan's panicked voice yell, "SWEETIE!!" And I had no idea what was wrong, I am thinking shark? Jellyfish? Rip current? He holds up his hand and...

His wedding ring was gone.

So we begin to dive frantically searching for it. All of a sudden Ryan yells really loud and I glance over to see a CRAB hanging off of his hand. Seriously?! Ok looking back (even later that night) it is kind of hysterical. He is flailing his hand around with the crab holding on for dear life as he sends it flinging into the air. We stopped diving after that. I optimistically watched the shore to see if it washed up. It didn't. I couldn't get upset, it was an accident and Ryan was already a wreck about it. We just spent the rest of the day on the beach hanging out. I got told I was looking good (ma'am) by an old beach bum. Joy. Why did my husband go swimming again and leave me there?! Haha not really. I just finally dried off and had no desire to turn blue again.

After a few hours on the beach we went up and showered and laid around for a bit. Eventually Ryan went out and got us Chinese food (as my cramps were so not cooperating) and watched a Star Wars marathon on Spike. We eventually emerged and got some Ben and Jerrys and came back to watch more Star Wars. We fell asleep early on in The Empire Strikes Back and woke up at 3am to see the end of Return of the Jedi. Then we passed out again. Ryan got a few 7:30am phone calls from work and then after awhile we gave up and got ready and checked out. In the rush I left my iTouch in the hotel room. When do I realize this? When we are driving home. Sweet.

But we decided to rent one of those bike/cart things where we have a roof and both pedal and we nearly died. That thing was a pain in the behind to drive. Literally. It took sooo much effort and it was hot as hell. We stopped before our hour was over and went for lunch at Little Feet's Cafe and then played frisbee on the beach before we just got too hot and had to leave. So on the drive I notice my iTouch was gone and call the hotel... luckily they found it. I gave them my information and credit card stuff and they're mailing it back to me. Second crisis semi averted. There was a TON of traffic and after a few hours we stop at a rest stop to use the bathroom and get a drink and a snack. We're in there all of ten minutes maybe.

Once we start driving I notice my side of the car is acting funny. I look in the side view mirror and the back of the car was vibrating. Then there is a loud sound, the car shakes, and Ryan gets us to the side of the road. Back passenger tire completely shredded. About four holes on the side wall of the tire. Ryn said it looked like someone stabbed it, but the tow truck driver said it could have been low pressure and just all popped out. Ryan had a doughnut, no spare, and no jack. Thank heavens I still have AAA! So we end up sitting on the side of 64 for over an hour waiting for the tow truck. How do we pass the time? We play I Spy. Oh yes. For over an hour. It was kind of funny. I guessed some doozies on him that he did not expect me to get, like the bird flying way behind the car in traffic!

Eventually the tow truck arrives to take us to the only open garage for miles, in Richmond! This tow truck was so old I was terrified it was going to break down before we made it. Two scrawny kids were driving it and one rode in our car and the other drove. They had to have been all of 18 maybe. Their truck was older than them. It was a 1988 truck with 620,000 miles on it! I will never complain about my car's miles again. The thing rattled and shook the whole way to Richmond where we got to Merchants, got four new tires (why not?), two subs, and sat for over two hours before going back on our way. Ryan also found it a convenient time to get his oil changed. He said the tire popping may have been God's way of yelling at him to change his oil.

All in all our 4 hour drive home was over 9 hours.

We opened a bottle of wine when we got home, popped in a DVD, and passed out.

So, for those of you who didn't have time to read the whole thing:
1. Ryan lost his wedding ring in the ocean (only wore it 29 days!)
2. I left my iTouch at the hotel which they are mailing back to me.
3. Our tire shredded on the way home.

We sure know how to make our first married vacation memorable huh?

Thanks for reading, I must get back to Padrevia now.... the opera.

Internet Countdown: 2 Weeks from today!