When it Rains

It pours.

And I don't just mean the weather. 

I know I haven't blogged a lot lately. I'm working again with hopefully back pay coming later, but no paycheck in sight. I pulled my back out and may have a herniated disc but won't know for weeks. Lots of pain meds. Luckily my mom is here this week. 

For other reasons too. We have a lot going on in my mom's family right now. I don't want to go into detail yet even though some if you know. Thank you for all the kind words you have sent my way. 

Please pray for my family. We desperately need it right now. It feels worse without Ryan here to lean on but I know he's sending lots of love across the world to me. So please, send prayers, karma, good thoughts or whatever you believe. We need it. 

Thank you all so much. 

 

The Worst Time

I miss my husband a lot. Understandable. Every military spouse right now is giving me a DUH from wherever they are. But I have to say it is worse at night. 

Night times were our times. 

I usually didn't get home from work until 7:30. We'd eat dinner and cuddle on the couch watching nextflix or have a bottle of wine in the garage. Maybe a cigar. We'd talk about our days and naturally, it is Ryan after all, the complexities of life, religion, economics and politics. We'd laugh at the Chive together or watch funny YouTube videos on our phones. One of us would make our lunches for the next day (usually me) while the other let the dog out (usually him). As we'd fall asleep we would cuddle and continue to chat until we eventually dozed off. 

Nights at home alone are hard. I've read a lot of books and watched a lot of tv. I try and go out when I can but more often than not the Dup and I are hanging out from five o'clock until bedtime. We do a long walk and occasionally I make myself dinner. Tonight it was burritos. Last night it was a mini frozen pizza. The night before it may have been peanut butter m&ms. It happens. 

But my one beer in the garage as I scroll through blogs or the Chive just doesn't measure up. The crickets seem a lot louder without his voice to fill the silence. My queen sized bed seems too big and I still curl up in my spot. 

Nights are the times I miss him the most. And the times I will cherish most of all when he is home again.