Faith and Love

Things have been busy, not quite routine yet, but slowly getting there! My work schedule and rehearsal schedule shift and vary but we are starting to get the hang of it! My blogging has slacked (surprise surprise) but I am determined to keep it up! Ryan starts Sergeant's Course next week which will also throw us some more curve balls but we can do it! And the looming sequestration is raising a lot of worry, my job having some ties in particular, yet I will not blog about it today.

This is an entry that has been floating in my head for awhile but I have never found the time or reason to feel the need to actually publish it. More recently it has gently been nudging me so maybe now is the time. I don't normally blog about religion or anything too hot topic, I know some bloggers thrive on that but I am I guess more of a fluffy blogger. I write about things that happen in our lives to keep people in the loop and very rarely have a rant or a very deep deep discussion.

I am Catholic, my husband is Southern Baptist.

No big deal.

But sometimes I find myself wishing we were both the same religion. We are both Christian and have the same fundamental beliefs, that is amazing, but every now and then I feel a small twinge knowing there are certain experiences, more so maybe in the Catholic faith, that we cannot take part in together. Would I ever pressure him to convert? Of course not! Would I be thrilled if he did? Hell yes.

I was born and raised Catholic. When I was in high school my mom started working at our Church as the Parish Secretary. My church in New Jersey was up the road from our house and I got so spoiled by the wonderful parish we had. The priest became like another uncle to me, he worked closely with my mom and I saw him all the time. He was around my mom's age and much more open minded than a lot of the older priests. Father Tom took the time to listen to people and really made our church a wonderful place to be. Ryan and Father Tom even spent hours at my graduation party discussing religion over quite a few beers. He is the man that married my husband and I and we still keep in touch with him. That church was like a second family to me. Almost everyone knew me and I knew them. I was in the youth group, a lector (reader) and always hanging around the office with my mom when I was home. Knowing this couldn't be the church I attended the rest of my life really ... well... sucked. I attended Catholic University as a theatre major, so I was able to keep my core beliefs and still be theatrical and a little more left at the same time. I always said I like to be Conservatively Liberal or Liberally Conservative (depending on the day you ask!).

By the way, please read this blog. I wish I wrote it! It is a wonderful tie in to being Catholic and because of that, supporting gay marriage. I agree whole heartedly.

Now when I met Ryan he wasn't routinely going to church. He was Southern Baptist but probably had not been since before boot camp (which when I met him had been about three years before). The first time he came to New Jersey with me to visit my family, he went to church with me... and every other time after that. If he spent the weekend at my apartment he'd usually tag along to mass with me. The first time I went home with him we went with his grandparents to a Baptist service, which I enjoyed but felt a little out of place at. When he deployed I never missed a single Sunday... regardless if I was sick or had an opening shift at Disney (hey 6am mass!) I went. I was determined to not miss the entire time he was overseas. When he got back and we got engaged he started driving form DC to New Jersey to see me every weekend. And he went to mass with my family and I every Sunday.

Once we got married I found a church in Alexandria and we continued to go. We learned quickly the first church we picked was not right for us so I found another one which we attended until our PCS. I know when Ryan was in 29 Palms he did not go to church, but I continued to go. When we moved to North Carolina I found another church and we have been attending that one since.

Ryan occasionally asks if we can go to a Baptist service and I always tell him yes. Just look up a church and find a time and we'll go. But he wants me to do it. I told him I wanted to go to Catholic mass, I researched and found the place and times and we went. If he wants to go to a Baptist service he needs to do the same. In the five years we have been together he has yet to do that even once. I know because of his grandparents, particularly his grandfather, he will always be a Baptist because that is what they were. He did go a lot when he was younger but now as an adult he is happy to go with me... but just as an observer. We did have a Catholic wedding service, not a mass since only I am Catholic and you both need to be to have a wedding mass, but we did have a Catholic service. Basically we did everything but communion and that was that.

He has agreed we can raise our children Catholic as we baptize in infancy and it is very important to me. I also promised he can take them to a Baptist service whenever he wants. And I promised if our children want to try other religions, anything from Baptist to Methodist to Buddhist, I would support it. But I want our children to at least grow up in a faith. I want them to know how important it is and go to church on Sundays and have that in their lives. When they grow up they can change their minds, but if they are under our roof they are going to church (whether with us or on their own).

I know this has been a lot of nonsensical rambling, I am trying here! I just wish on Sunday my husband could receive communion with me. Or want to go with me to mass on Ash Sunday or Good Friday or any other Holy Day of Obligation. Usually if there is mass in the middle of the week, that is it for him. He will either do that mass or Sunday, not both. More often than not I go to church alone for Days of Obligation. In all fairness he is not Catholic and therefore not obligated... but still. I wish we could do Lent together, it would be easier to not eat meat on Fridays if he didn't order a steak in front of me! Same for fasting the few days a year we do it. But, the thing is, overall he is very religious... his faith and core beliefs are there. He just doesn't always like to go to church to express it. Some days I am convinced he knows more about the bible, or even Christianity as a whole, than I do myself.
If I don't feel well or need extra motivation on a Sunday to get up and go he usually doesn't give it to me. If I don't push us to go to church, we won't. And now with me working weekends it is becoming harder for me to go every Sunday like I want to. If I don't go, he definitely does not go.

And that is what makes me sad. I wish we had that same central core to push one another to be stronger in our faiths. I wish we could share in the traditions I grew up in and together raise our children in them. I know if I ever drop the ball, that would be it. And sometimes it does feel like pressure when I know it shouldn't. Faith is not always easy, but it is not always supposed to be hard either. I know our fundamental beliefs are the same but is it selfish to wish for more? Even though we don't have children I am already fretting over godparents, at least one must be Catholic (and I'd probably ask my brother) but as for a godmother? I have no idea. The other person would at least have to be at least baptized as a Christian and practice in their faith. Catholic godparents are chosen as people to help lead the child in their religious lives... it isn't the same as a guardian or as some other religions do it. In Catholicism it is a secondary guide for faith after the parents. Of course I want Ryan to pick someone as it is a big deal, but I have no idea who that would be. Yes it is a major pre-emptive worry, but I still fret about it all the same. Don't even ask me about what to do if we have more than one child.

Sigh.

This became much longer than I intended and if you did read it, thank you. Has anyone experienced this before? Any thoughts? Sometimes I feel so petty for feeling this way... I really do. My husband is a great man and definitely has strong beliefs, I just wish ours were the same. Like I said, petty, but still existent.

Tiny Prints Review and Give Away

Tiny Prints has a wide selection of Photo Holiday Cards that are making me anxious to order them even though it isn't even much past Halloween! This year they have a new feature, the Premium DoubleThick™ Matte Paper, which is their most luxurious cardstock yet. Check out the video below, it makes me want to get it just to have my friends and families struggle with their fridge magnets too!




There are tons of options, everything from generic holiday to Christmas to Hannukah to New Years. The cards are different shapes and sizes and are filled with bright colors and designs. I have narrowed down the selection of cards I am considering buying... what do you think? I tend to be more classic when it comes to my cards, but the last one was too cute to resist!

Card One:

 Card Two:

 Card Three:

 Card Four:

Tiny Prints has wonderful prices, a great selection and they normally have a lot of special offers going on nearly all the time!! They even have a Special Offers page with all of their discounts and deals in one place for you to check out.

Now as a special offer I am giving away a little something that may help for the holidays: $50 off your total order (expires 12/14/2012 – no extensions). Just note it does not include shipping & cannot be combined with any other promos, but it is still a great deal! Enter below and Rafflecopter will walk you through it. Give away ends November 7th.
a Rafflecopter giveaway


This is a sponsored post and give away, all opinions are my own and although I was compensated for this post it did not reflect my opinion in any way.

We Are Worth More

Have you all seen this article?

Yesterday it came to my attention on Facebook and I have to say.... it made me really angry. "12 Great Jobs For Military Spouses". As someone who is currently looking for work it definitely caught my eye. Maybe I missed something, maybe there could be tips and hints and advice for lots of women out there in my exact same position.

I was wrong.

The article starts off well. It talks about how compared to the overall public military spouses are more educated. 84 percent of military spouses have some college. Further more 25 percent have a bachelor’s degree and 10 percent have an advanced degree. Those numbers don't even include other marketable skills that require special licenses. 35 percent of military spouses in the workforce are in jobs that require a professional license (which is an initiate that Michelle Obama and Jill Biden are working to allow those spouses to work in all 50 states without transferring licenses every three to five years). In fact 85 percent of spouses are in my exact situation. 85 percent. That number seems disturbingly high to me.

Seeing those numbers made me proud. We are a well educated community with a lot to offer the world. Our spouses being military does make that more difficult, but not impossible. Moving so much does stunt career progress sometimes, you may work for a company that has no representation in your new location, so you have to start over. I can relate.

But then I got pissed.

The twelve great jobs this woman writes about? Insulting. For an educated group of people it seems more like a list for a high schooler looking for their first job. Hell, if the article had a different spin, it may not have annoyed me so much. Maybe if it was "12 Money Making Endeavors for Military Spouses Between Jobs" or "Extra Income Ideas" it may not have annoyed me so much. But for saying how educated we are and what we can achieve.... it boils down to this.

Direct Selling (like Avon or Pampered Chef), Child Care and Babysitting, Selling handcrafted goods online (Etsy), Tutoring and Substitute Teaching, Errand Runner, Catering and/or Cake Making, Pet Services, Gift Basket Creator, Personal Trainer, Administrative Assistant, IT Specialist and Tax Preparer.

Those are the 12 great jobs?? Now, some are fine, even terrific careers. I know plenty of spouses who do direct selling or have amazing Etsy shops. If you love numbers a tax preparer is great. If you want to teach, it is a good choice. But gift basket preparer??? Errand runner??? For being as ambitious and educated as you make us sound that is honestly the best you can come up with? THAT is where it gets insulting. And the descriptions... oh man. I have been talking to Ryan about going back to school for culinary arts, more specifically a pastry chef. I have taken cake decorating courses and I love to bake, it is something I have been toying with, but the description from the article made my blood boil.

"Those hours spent watching the Food Network might be the genesis of a money-making plan. If you have great culinary chops, try catering parties or backyard cookouts, selling homemade baked goods or offer your services as a personal chef. A course in cake decoration, candy making, and baking from a community college or gourmet food shop can boost your presentation skills."

I spend hours spent watching the Food Network?? In between keeping the house clean, taking care of the dog, grocery shopping, maintaining the cars, the yard, laundry, cooking dinner (and baked goods for Ryan to take to work), blogging, writing articles for SpouseBUZZ and applying for jobs I spend hours watching TV???? Most days the TV isn't even turned on in our house until after dinner when we sit on the couch and watch Doctor Who on Netflix together. And just because you watch the Food Network does not make you a chef. People go to school for years to do that. Yes, home based businesses can grow from talented individuals, but the way that the article says it anyone can turn a TV show into a career.

And I am so glad I went to college for four years to be a babysitter. Because that is all my bachelor's degree can get me. I worked my butt off in college for four years. Yes, my concentration was theatre, but I have a BA. I took all sorts of liberal arts classes.... math, science, philosophy, religion, Spanish, psychology and anthropology to name a few. I had a full course load of classes (and homework and studying) plus I would be at the theatre five hours a night during the week and all day Saturday. And I worked in the scene shop in the theatre part time so I could make money. Full course load, rehearsals and a job.

And I can babysit.
The article is from The Jacksonville Daily News. Jacksonville, a huge military town, has the nerve to publish something so backwards from 1960? You are a major paper in a military town. You claim spouses are these educated people and we can run errands. Insulting. How do you think people would react if this was an article directed at women in general? Civilians?

Yes, my husband's job makes me move.... but I shouldn't have to be a secretary until I retire. We are worth more than entry level jobs for the rest of our spouses' military careers. We support our spouse and they support us. Our dreams, aspirations and goals may be harder to obtain, but not impossible. I will stand by my husband's side and do what I can to help him and his career... and I know he will do the same for me wherever he can. The military has given us so much, sometimes is really sucks (deployments, field ops, PCSing as soon as you feel 'settled') but that is the life we choose to live. But gosh darn it I can have a career too. I can support my husband, hep keep up a house, a dog (someday kids) and still pursue what makes me happy. We all can.

We are worth more.

How do Habits Change When Your Military Spouse is Away?

How do Habits Change When Your Military Spouse is Away?

My second article was posted on SpouseBUZZ yesterday! I am really loving this (: Please go check it out and let me know what you think! Do your habits drasitcally change when your spouse is gone?

Plus: Some very exciting news is coming up! All thanks to SpouseBUZZ! Details soon to follow...

Going Dark

I tend to shy away from politics or hot button topics on this blog, but occassionally one will peak my interest to the point I cannot resist writing a little something. Mainly, I want to know what other people think. I can sit here and write my opinions day and night (well, duh, it is my blog) but it doesn't make for that interesting of reading material. Not that I am boring or anything (right?) but I just tend to steer clear of such things.

But today I had to take notice of certain major websites going dark to protest SOPA and PIPA. SOPA, Stop Online Piracy Act, is in the House of Representatives while PIPA, Protect IP Act, is in the Senate. What are they? In a nutshell it is something pushed by big media Hollywood types to prevent piracy. Tons of people download illegal movies, music and television shows that put the studio executives (and the cast and crew) out of profit. It makes sense that they would want it to stop (therefore breaking the hearts of bored college students everywhere). Some of the supporters of the legislation include the Motion Picture Association of America and the US Chamber of Commerce. They say online piracy hurts American companies and destroys jobs. The MPAA estimates the U.S. loses more than 300,000 jobs, $16 billion in earnings and $58 billion in economic output each year because of pirated movies, music, software and video games, according to The Chicago Tribune .

But there is a problem. How far is too far?

The article I mentioned above put it in some easy to understand terms, "For example, Google could be forced to drop an offending site from its search engine results. Or the government could go to court to stop a U.S. company that facilitates online payments to a suspected infringing site. Internet companies say they have neither the time nor the resources to monitor every link on a website or post by a user."

Do you agree? Say you can have a site like the Homefront United Network. Maybe someone there posts a video they found that they love the song in the background or the message in the video. The HUN realistically could get shut down due to user posted content. See where the problem can lie? A spam attack of such material on any website could shut down a user based forum in a heartbeat. Or say you use Site A, maybe a German based craft company. Well Site A has random ads using Site B, a piracy encouraged site. Google and the US internet could block Site A just for mentioning Site B even though they have nothing to do with one another. You could argue that Site A knows what Site B does, but think of Google Ads. Do you get to choose what pops up on your blog all the time? You may get to select categories and interests that relate to your blog, so Site A says they like music which Site B happens to have.... illegally.

Some of the sites protesting today include...

Wikipedia (completely shut down the English version for 24 hours)



Google (still operational but protesting)



and Craigslist (shut down 24 hours)




Others apparently are too. So, when does big brother come in? How long is it before only 'government approved' sites could be linked through Google or Wikipedia? What if your own blog was monitored? I'm just curious to know what you all think. Do you think it would ever get that far? Is this just the first step in that direction? I am curious to hear your thoughts!

Doctors and Opinions

So I have had back issues since highschool. They come and go, it is usually horribly tight and I pull it out very easily. I did so last month quite horribly. Ryan almost took me to the ER since I was in so much pain, but the idea of getting in the car made me feel physically ill. Instead we dug out the percocet and I knocked out for the night. For days after I couldn't even bend, which was hell working all day with six year olds!!! But from then on I tried to get a doctor appointment. I had enough. Eight years of this on and off is ridiculous!

I relocated to Bolling Air Force base for my Dr and I could not get an appointment. I was off for two weeks before starting my new job and there was zero availability. If I heard, "If you are in severe pain you can go to the ER or Urgent Care." one more time I was going to lose it. I was not in pain at the time, I was trying to prevent future issues and figure stuff out!! I finalyl got frustrated this week and called TriCare and changed my provider to Ft Belvoir. I changed my information, called the appointment line, and had an appointment scheduled THAT NIGHT at 6:40pm!! Amazing. This was Monday by the way.

After work I drive over to Belvoir, about twenty or thirty minutes away, and my GPS takes me to the wrong gate. You military gals know that is a pretty big no-no. Oops. Even playing the "Sorry I've never been here before" card I still felt like an ass. So I get to the right gate and no surprise I get pulled over for random inspection. Apparently I was the first gold car they saw that day and he thought, Why the heck not? His words exactly. Did I mention I have five minutes to find the hospital at this point, and park and get to my appointment? I pop the trunk (and prop it open with my stick as the spring doesn't hold it open anymore) the hood (with difficulty, I couldn't get it for some reason) and all the doors as the dog sniffs around. They give me directions to the hospital and I have one minute to get there.

Oy.

I arrive at the hospital almost ten minutes late. I RUN up the stairs and somehow find the clinic and miraculously enough they agree to see me! My blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof from my run so the nurse had to take it three times! Oops again.

I see the doctor, he is not my new primary but he was available and I was fine with that. I told him about my back pains, my problems, and my theories. It was the most productive appointment I ever had. Within five minutes after my appointment walked down the hall to the pharmacy and got my two perscriptions filled (free! I love that!) for Percocet and Flexoril, a muscle relaxer, for when I need them. Then I walked a little further down the hall and right in for an xray on my back. No wait whatsoever!! I am pretty impressed Belvoir! I also got two recommended consultations, one with a physical therapist and one with a plastic surgeon.

A plastic surgeon you ask?

Well, myself and quite a few people I am close with have a theory behind my bad back. It started in highschool when I went from an A cup to a C cup my freshman year. I have never in my life been a B cup! I skipped right over it. Ever since I routinely pull my back out. It is excrutiating! I slouch all the time, I am extremely self conscious of my chest size (which has since of course grown). Clothes shopping is awful. If it fits my chest it doesn't fit my waist and vice versa. Don't even get me started on bathing suits! The one bikini I have owned in the past eight years I got at a specialty store and came with underwire and thick straps. If I wore, say a bikini from Target, I would look like a street walker. If I put two together I would maybe cover one! Once I heard Barbie, if she were a real person, would not physically be able to stand up straight because of her proportions. I can relate.

I have considered a breast reduction since about my senior year of highschool, when my chest started getting really big. No I know my size compared to some is not that bad. I borderline a 36D and DD. It is hard. I feel very out of proportion. In jeans I maybe wear a size 4. My waist, like when I am finding dresses, can fit into a 6/8... but my chest I have to get a 10 or 12 to fit! I was terrified when shopping for my wedding gown I was going to look huge and top heavy no matter what. I didn't want a strapless dress at all. But luckily I found a beautiful dress that somehow worked with my shape.

The doctor did warn since I am not, "that big", I may have a hard time getting such a thing approved. Also because I am young, and never had children it is another factor that makes them wary. That is one that makes me push, I know when you get pregnant your chest grows. I am terrified of that. I'd get bigger than this??? Also already having back problems I would not be a happy camper. My mother-in-law mentioned when she was pregnant with my sister-in-law Hannah that Hannah sat basically on her spine the whole time. She felt like she had "back labor" towards the end. I wouldn't be able to move if I had that!

I know elective surgery is risky. I have never had anything like that done, I mean I still have my wisdom teeth! But I think the risk may be worth it. To not be in pain. To wear clothes that fit. To not be self conscious all the time. To meet someone and have them look me in the eye instead of the boobs. To not have indents in my shoulder large enough to fit my finger in from my bra bearing so much weight.

So I am reaching out to you readers. What are your thoughts on such a thing? Is an elective surgery a good idea? Should it only be a last LAST resort? Should I go for it and see if they would approve it? Ryan supports it if it means being out of pain and comfortable (Of course I want a B and he wants a C but that is a whoooole nother story!)

What do you think?