Sunday, April 20, 2014
For the first time I can remember I am working on Easter Sunday. It has been extremely quiet here at the library, but we have had patrons... at least 30-40 have been in throughout the day. Most people were just using the computers to print something out but it has been extremely quiet at the circulation desk. I have caught up on a lot of projects, practiced for my interview Tuesday, and cleared the carts of books we had up here. It is definitely different from a usual weekend here! I also had a very interesting lecture by an elderly gentleman about Crucifixion. I suppose wearing my Catholic University hoodie sort of set me up for that one...
Last night Ryan and I attended the Easter Vigil service. Usually it is my favorite mass of the year. I love watching the chuch flicker in candle light, hearing the Genesis readings, the gorgeous music and people entering the church for the first time through baptism or confirmation. I was spoiled growing up in a beautiful and welcoming church. My mom was our parish secretary and I knew almost everyone. I was a lector (reader) at mass from my teenage years through adulthood and I altar served and sang in the choir as a kid. It is the church I made my first communion, reconciliation, confirmation and got married in. It was home. I don't think I will ever feel so connected to a parish again, I hope I will, but I have yet to find it. Neither Virginia nor North Carolina have yet. At all.
The vigil service was long, I mean way longer than normal, nearly three hours. The music was alright but most of it unfamiliar... a reading was read twice and one was skipped (hey, I pay attention!) and Ryan and I were both starving by the end. The most beautiful part for me was the RCIA candidates. We had ten... ten.... people baptized into the church ranging from 6 to 60 years old. It was beautiful! Plus another seven on top of that received first communion and confirmation... seventeen people solidified their faith last night in my presence and I cried tears of joy witnessing it. Like I said, beautiful. But I was also homesick for the church I grew up in and missing the familiar as well as my family. I missed having a small reception with my church of cookies and other things late in the evening after the vigil... a trip to Buffalo Wild Wings isn't usually the most Easter-y of celebrations! I miss kielbasa and pierogies (even though there may be some in my freezer from Babci... hm... I'll have to check that out).
This is the first Easter I have spent without my parents and brother. Working this weekend made the trip impossible for either of us. I know I am an adult and married, but when your whole life centers around some traditions and familiarity it is hard to let go sometimes. This was the one holiday we always managed to make work, even since I have been married... but not this year. I know, one of many in my future, but it is still a little sad. I am so grateful Ryan made pisanki with me and accompanied me to mass (especially since he isn't Catholic, I know it isn't a walk in the park for him) and I appreciate it so much.
My heart is just a little heavier this year during a time it is usually flying and singing. I love Easter, what it means in my faith and family, but this year it is just hovering a little lower.
I didn't intend to sound so gloomy and down in this post, my apologies. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a Happy Easter (if you celebrate).