Remember

I was 14 years and three days old. It was my second week of my freshman year of highschool.

I remember being on the bus between my two schools (my acting school and academic school) and hearing it on the radio. The first plane hitting. I remember a picture in my mind of a small plane (not an airline plane) nicking the tall atenna on the top of the one Tower. I remember being in Spanish class when the announcement was made on the loudspeaker. The full story.

I remember my history class being glued to the TV. The footage showed over and over again. I remember wondering if my family in the City, a mere 45 minutes away, were ok. I remember feeling panicked, scared and horribly sad.

I remember the the pink slips of paper coming into class. Kids were being picked up left and right to go home. White slips were phone calls. Everytime either one came in the whole room held its breath. I remember my English teacher desperately trying to reach his wife who worked a few blocks away from the Towers. I remember being allowed to use our cellphones to call home. I remember my mom saying no one heard from Uncle Bob yet (my mom's uncle) who typically took the PATH train to the World Trade Center and walked to work. I remember the relief when he stumbled home that night and the phone chain went out. He heard on the train police activity was blocking the tunnel so he went back to Penn Station in time to hit the flood of people fleeing the city.

I remember his son-in-law, a police officer, going to Ground Zero and not coming home for three days and never speaking again of what he saw there.

I remember the questions in my four year old brother's eyes. How do you explain something like that to someone so small?

I remember the church services and memorials.

I remember being asked to speak (as a student speaker and representing my acting school) at the county memorial. I remember speaking in front of 3,000 people holding candles trying to keep it together.

I remember the dead air space over NJ. I remember being in my acting class and writing a letter to myself ten years in the future...next year. During that scary silence three fighter jets flew over our school shaking the entire building, peolpe jumped and screamed. Then being at tennis practice a few days later when the first regular plane flew over again. Everyone stopped and watched it go from one end of the sky to the other in silence.

I can remember September 11, 2001 with such startling clarity. I doubt it is something that I will ever be able to lose the details of. I remember someone saying for older generations everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing when Kennedy was shot. This is the one for our generation. Instead of one great man losing his life over 3,000 innocent people perished.

Who would have thought this event would trigger my then thirteen year old husband living a thousand miles away to want to join the Marines from preventing something like this from ever happening again? This one event altered all of our lives. It created a different future. It changed everything.

Prayers, love, and thoughts. To all those who died, to those who lost loved ones, and to all those still effected to this day.

I Remember.