Worrier

I am a worrier.

It drives my husband absolutely nuts. He has the mentality of, "What good does worrying do? It doesn't change anything and just stresses you out. So let it go!" Well it isn't like it is a switch I can just turn off! I wish I could. I am sensitive sometimes, certain comments may stick with me and I will worry about them way more than I should. Worried is even an instant label on my tags for below my posts since I apparently use it too much!

Yes sometimes my worries are silly. I remember when I was learning to drive I was so worried I was going to sneeze behind the wheel. Yes. Really. You know, you close your eyes when you sneeze and you jerk around and when you're operating a one ton vehicle that can be bad! And I sneeze in twos... so two, four, six, or eight sneezes! That is a lot of time for closed eyes! But go figure the first time I sneeze while driving is during my driving test. Ugh. Well, I didn't crash! Now I look back and realize how silly it all was, but I still worried!

I worried when Ryan deployed. Legit there.

I worried about my digestive issues (which thankfully have calmed down over the last six months with this medication and me just being careful... no diagnosis was ever made). Legit worry.

I worried about wedding details and family situations. Semi Legit.

I worried about the move. Semi Legit.

Now, I am worrying about two things. I am worrying about finding a job in the next three weeks because as of the 20th I am officially unemployed. So far anywhere I have applied has been a bust. Monster and Careerbuilder are just giving me shady things. Legit worry.

I am also worrying about Ryan re-enlisting. Maybe not in the sense you would think. I married him in the mindframe he was staying in for career. It was only in June he flirted with the idea of getting out. The thing I worry about is how he will re-enlist. And when, so two things. I don't want him to stay infantry if he stays in. I hope that isn't bad of me, but the idea of another deployment with him right in the thick of things on the front line absolutely terrifies me. He found out at the moment CID is not quite an option because he hasn't been a CPL long enough. Since when you graduate you become a Sgt he needs to be his current rank longer. So maybe re-enlist and wait it out? His contract is over in May 2011, the end of May. The USMC fiscal year ends in October, so the bonuses can change.. up or down. He is flirting with the idea of re-enlisting before then to get the current bonus without risking it dropping. Which would mean moving as soon as October possibly.

I just want a decision made so we can plan. To know where we are going, where I need a job, just what we will do! Silly naive Marine Wife for even expecting such a thing :P


Am I silly?????