Halfway There!

I cannot believe I am halfway through my pregnancy! I was so scared for most of the first trimester that I would miscarry that it was hard to just relax and enjoy being pregnant. Once we cleared that first hurdle, my thyroid leveled out and I started to feel so much better. I wasn't so bone achingly tired all the time, the nausea faded, and I am actually in the stage where I really enjoy being pregnant. I can go without the waking up many times a night thing but beggars can't be choosers. Some photo updates...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am so not a fan of the 20 week picture. My husband refused to stand up to take it! Unflattering angle!

When I was about 17 weeks pregnant my friend had her baby shower so I got to pose alongside another pregnant lady! Kristin was about 25 weeks along at this time and she had her shower early so she could be in the state with her family and still travel! Her husband is stationed in Texas. I didn't know I was having a boy yet (as is Kristin) but a lot of people thought I was having a girl because of these pictures since I appear to be carrying higher than her. Just goes to show you every pregnancy is different!

During this time I was also acting in a local community theatre production of A Time to Kill playing Judge Olga Noose. Fortunately I got to wear a baggy judge's robe and sit behind at the bench most of the play, so most people had no idea I was even pregnant! The weekend the show went on I was maybe 19 weeks along.

Of course a major highlight was our anatomy scan right as I hit 19 weeks. We got to see how much our Bean has grown and our tech was wonderful. She gamely turned off the screens to inspect the gender area and wrote down the results in an envelope for us to do our gender reveal that weekend.

On to the survey!

What Fruit are you? According to the Ovia app I am a baby bok choy, the What to Expect app says banana, and my Baby Pics app says pomegranate. Geeze y'all, can't you compare notes?
Due date: August 5, 2016
How far along: 21 weeks 4 days
Next appointment: April 15th for scan at Maternal Fetal Medicine, April 21 for OBGYN
Gender: Baby Boy!
Total weight gain/loss: I have officially gained close to 15-20lbs. I know I am supposed to, but it still wigs me out a bit to see numbers that big on a scale!
Exercise: Lots of walking. Now that the weather has warmed up the Dup and I try and go for walks daily.
Stretch marks: No new noticeable ones yet.
Swelling: I officially cannot wear my rings anymore. It was actually traumatic getting my husband to get my wedding band off after a walk one night. My hands swelled so bad and I nearly threw up when he finally got the thing off my finger, man did it hurt! I also may have started to go into shock. Yea, I will be a peach in labor! It honestly took close to an hour with ice, string and other things and my husband finally just yanking the hell out of it. I now wear my wedding band on my necklace and a giant fake ring I got from a Diamond Candle a few years ago that now fits. 

This was my poor finger not too long after we got the ring off. At least it wasn't as red but it swelled like that for a few days.

Maternity clothes: Yes. I still fit in some old shirts and a stretchy pair of work pants or two but majority of my wardrobe is maternity.
Belly button: Normal but I think starting to get shallower.
Sleep: I wake up between 1 and 4 times a night, usually to pee. I am trying to sleep on my side since I am supposed to, but I keep waking up on my back!
Food cravings: Blood oranges, I have at least one a day! Also still loving sweets but trying to be smart.
Symptoms: Still a little tired sometimes, occasionally a leg cramp or two, hunger... the usual.
Movement: Yes! Bean started moving noticeably for me right before my show! When I was on stage a few times I had to fight to stay in character because that was when he decided it would be a good time to move around. Ryan finally felt him officially kick for sure during this past week. Last week he kind of thought he might have, but a good kick last Saturday night was definite.
Labor signs: None yet thankfully!
What I miss: I did kind of want a drink the other night, but that is so rare it even surprised me!
What I'm loving: Feeling official kicks and movements from Bean. It is wonderful!
What I'm looking forward to: Having the bump be a bit more pronounced and then of course eventually meeting the little stinker.
Best moment this week: Seeing Ryan's expression when he finally felt a good, hard kick from Bean.
News: It's a boy! Thyroid levels are normal, things look good.
Milestones: Anatomy scan, Halfway point, official kicks, Finding out the gender
Words of wisdom: I am ready for any that people may want to share.

Anatomy Scan

One of our big worries with my Hashimoto's Hypothyroiditis was how it would effect our little Bean, as we have been calling our baby to be. Since my diagnosis did not occur until well into my first trimester there is they worry that my thyroid could hurt how Bean was developing. I was classified as a high risk pregnancy because of this and I am being seen by the OBGYN and the Maternal Fetal Medicine Clinic. One bright side is that I will have routine ultrasounds until the end of my pregnancy to make sure Bean is on track instead of just having my 20 week anatomy scan and being done. Well yesterday was our big anatomy scan and a big source of my anxiety for sure! I know everyone hopes for a healthy baby, but with the thyroid issues I was terrified I could have inadvertently hurt Bean. We have to check that all organs (especially the heart) were formed and correct as well as many other things.

Well, let me tell you, our little Bean looks fantastic so far.

Baby toes!!!

Bean has ten fingers, ten toes, an adorable little nose and mouth, all four chambers of the heart (working!), as well as a spine that has a healthy taper (so no signs of spinal bifida), ribs, functioning kidneys... everything looked good from what our tech Sara could tell. Our tech was so fabulous. She had us relaxed, played some wonderful taste in music, and just helped put us two high strung first time parents to be at ease. Bean's heartbeat filled that little room at 151 beats per minute and it is a sound I will never tire of hearing. My placenta is right on top so she warned me it may take a little longer to feel kicks, especially for Ryan to feel from the outside. Occasionally I feel like I can feel little swooshes or bubbles, but it is hard to know for sure!

We told Sara we wanted to know the gender, but not right then. We asked her to write it down and seal it in an envelope for us. Then we gave that envelope to our friend Donna who will put together a box for us to open on Saturday. This weekend I am acting in a local community theatre production of A Time to Kill as the judge and both of our families are coming to see the show. We figured having everyone together, siblings included, would be the perfect time to all find out together!

The only down side is I was dying to open that envelope!!!

I had to keep it away from Ryan as he kept trying to hold it up to the light to see the picture inside, so he wasn't allowed to hold the envelope anymore after that. I then put it in the glove compartment of my car until I got to rehearsal and was able to give Donna the envelope. She refused to look at it last night as she wanted to give nothing away... so as of right now only Sara (our tech) and Donna know what Bean is for sure!

So, what do you think? Is our Bean going to be a girl or a boy? I will post after this weekend with the results!!!

Dracula



Once again another theatrical journey has come to a close. I am back to having free evenings and weekends (you know, when I am not working) and wondering what to do with all the extra brain space that used to be reserved for copious amounts of lines. Dracula was a fun show and different from the other shows I've done here in Eastern North Carolina. Firstly, we had a very large cast, 14 people plus a larger than usual crew... that nearly doubles some of our previous shows! I was also pretty sick for a good week or two leading up to the show, which was panic inducing for sure. Plus Ryan doing his school for his B-Billet... let's just say it has been a crazy few weeks.

 

Up on the ladder during tech, one of my favorite places to be during tech... hanging lights!

But we made it. This fantastic cast, some I've worked with before, some brand new, all came together for a wonderful production. There were fake fangs, blood, hissing, crucifixes (crucifi?), stakings and everything else you'd expect you'd need for a production of Dracula. I was Professor Sarah Van Helsing... yes Van Helsing is usually a male (Abraham) but we went in a different direction! I got to do stage combat again for the first time in years including slaps, punches and a pretty painful looking head smack that got a collective OOOH one night from an audience!

 

The full cast

Van Helsing in costume... honestly it was all mine minus the scarf!

 

The above picture was taken during our tech rehearsal since I loved how I managed to do my make up, but my mom mentioned you could tell I had been sick. How did she oh so delicately put it? Oh yes, I had a scrawny neck! Most of the weight has come back by now but at this point I was down a good ten pounds and living off of saltines and ice pops.

My best friend Donna and I

Below are some stills from the production captured by the campus photographer I believe. I borrowed them from a friend's facebook page.

Confronting Vampire Mina

 

Renfield was about as crazy as her hair!

 

Post fight, after I butted heads with a vampire.

We made it through four shows unscathed. My husband came twice, my parents once and a former coworker of mine even showed, which was awesome since not many people I invited could make it. It was Halloween weekend, I  know, but it is always extra motivating when you know someone in the audience. After our last show we took up five massive tables at Chili's for dinner before we parted ways. There is another show in the Spring but I probably will not be auditioning. With my work schedule it has been just too difficult. :( I will always have a special place in my heart for these amazing people though.

 

 

 

Loss of a Legend

"You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." - Robin Williams

The only souvenier I asked for on my family trip to Disney that now hangs in our guest room.

Robin Williams has been my favorite actor for my entire life. People have poked fun at me for it (never in a mean way) about how he was always my top of the heap favorite, but I know I am not alone (based on the social media take over alone). The world lost a wonderful, talented man yesterday. I am not going to lie, I cried when I heard he passed away. My entire life I dreamed of meeting him, and my top actor dream of actually acting with him, will now never be realized. This brilliant man had demons darker than any of us knew and is now no longer with us. His wife is a widow and his children are without their father... and it breaks my heart.

 

On acting: "All the new people you meet, it's pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful."

I remember being young, really young, and begging my mom to let me stay up for another episode of Mork & Mindy. She usually obliged for at least one episode and rolled her eyes more than once as I Nanu Nanu'd along with my favorite alien. One of the first movies I saw in a movie theatre was Aladdin, and I was ecstatic when my mom told me the Genie was the same voice as Mork.

That love always stayed.

From Mrs. Doubtfire (a movie that practically defined childhood for my generation) to Flubber to the serious movies... Jakob the Liar (being one of the most underrated in my opinion), Good Will Hunting and What Dreams May Come... his performances was awe inspiring and captivating. Dark or light, serious or comedic, he had a presence that was undeniable to even someone like me on the other side of the screen. Buzzfeed highlighted some good performances in this article too. He also was a huge supporter of our military and his USO shows were legendary. He has even been referred to as the Bob Hope of our generation for his work with the USO. The military community is even reeling from the loss.



Source

Yesterday I was watching TV when my friend Donna texted me the news. I gasped out loud, probably scaring Ryan a bit, and googled it. It was popping up everywhere. He was gone, suicide.

"You have an internal critic, an internal drive that says, `OK, you can do more.' Maybe that's what keeps you going," Williams said. "Maybe that's a demon. ... Some people say, `It's a muse.' No, it's not a muse! It's a demon! DO IT YOU BASTARD!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THE LITTLE DEMON!!"

His demons won out. His struggles with addiction and depression were not a secret, they've been a source of contention for him for years, and he spoke about them quite a bit. But I don't think anyone saw this coming. My adoration is well known in my family and friends so I had people texting me and facebooking me to check in and see how I was doing. Seriously.

Source    

Hollywood has lost some great talent in my lifetime, but none hit me as hard as this. I know it is silly to mourn for someone you have never met, but this man has made a huge impact on my life, both personally and as an actor. His talent is awe inspiring and no one will probably ever be able to come close to replicating it. It may be silly for me to dedicate an entire blog entry to this, but it's my blog, I'll do what I want. It feels like an extended uncle four times removed has died... someone who helped shape my childhood and my love of acting... and it sucks.

Source

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,

The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,

The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,

While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

But O heart! heart! heart!

O the bleeding drops of red,

Where on the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

 

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;

Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,

For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,

For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here Captain! dear father!

The arm beneath your head!

It is some dream that on the deck,

You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,

My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,

The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,

From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;

Exult O shores, and ring O bells!

But I with mournful tread,

Walk the deck my Captain lies,

Fallen cold and dead.

Walt Whitman

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Show Time

One of my favorite things in the world is having the opportunity to act and be on stage. It is definitely one of my life's passions and thankfully my husband is patient enough to deal with me being gone at night for months at a time and knowing the week pre show is a time we barely cross paths! As soon as we returned from our trip I jumped right into rehearsals fro A Doll's House where I was playing Mrs. Kristine Linde... a fun role pretty different from my usual ones  but I liked it a lot!

And no, I wasn't a brunette for the show, but our stage manager had some fun wigs for us to play with! Maybe one day if I am brave enough I will get bangs... or dye my hair again!

It is also a time to wear a lot, a lot, of make up! Luckily we had someone on make up this time because I am pretty terrible at it!

Our cast and crew were incredible... I loved getting to work with old friends and meet some new ones too! We tried to make Ibsen not so insufferable or stuffy so we actually set it in Barbie's Dream House. Nora constantly talks about being a doll, hence the title, so we played on it and went with it. We were also judged twice by adjudicators from the AC KCTF (American College Kennedy Center Theatre Festival) where students can be picked for scholarship opportunities and the show could go on to perform at the festival itself. I am not eligible obviously since I am not a student but it is still cool to get feedback from professionals!

The originals! Donna and Mel and I worked on The Mousetrap together two years ago!

Below are my costumes from Act I, Act II and Act III. The jewelry and shoes were mine as was the Act III dress but our designer said I could keep everything for once! Our costume designer was, er, wealthy and basically ignored her given budget and insisted we keep anything we wanted. Totally new experience for me!

Curtain Call

I wasn't in the paper like I was with the Mousetrap but I did make the online article version they posted! I am just in the background but it's still neat.

After the last show our costume designer insisted on taking everyone to Marrakesh for dinner. It was delicious! I was starving so I ate everything on my plate. We had flatbread and dips first then I had the three meat special with Shwarma, chicken kebobs, beef kebobs, rice and cucumber salad. Oh YUM.

For dessert I could not say no to baklava either.... fluffy, sweet and so delicious!

My parents came Saturday night and Ryan came both Friday and Saturday. The beautiful flowers they both gave me are sitting next to me as I type. Saturday night was our best audience and biggest.... 75 kids from the high school on base came and were such a wonderful audience. They laughed, gasped, and even clapped after a scene Felix and I had at the top of act III. It blew me away. Our judge even said if you can engage that many high schoolers you did something right.

I had this week to relax, no gym or rehearsal or anything else but work and time with Ryan. It's been really really nice. The library is open again too, construction complete. And the weather is finally back on track too, hello 80 degrees (to be fair I wrote this all Friday for publishing Monday so that may not last)!! I will take it! Hopefully now I can blog more regularly too. Whew.

The Day of the Show

I know, I know, I have one more trip entry to write! Our journey through Naples/Pompeii and the long awaited pizza is coming along... all the photos are added in a draft, I just have to find the time to write it. The reason my time has been nonexistent? A show of course!

I am so happy to be back and doing theatre. Even a year long hiatus can feel way too long. I am currently in a production of Ibsen's A Doll's House playing Kristine Linde. Tonight is opening night, so the past six weeks have been rehearsals nearly every weeknight on top of a pretty full work schedule. The time I do have free has been basically spent with the hubs since it has been few and far between. He gets cranky sometimes during these rehearsal runs, as do I, as we really enjoy being together... and sadly we haven't had a whole lot of that lately. We get home from work and within in an hour I am at rehearsal until 10-11pm. When I get home I collapse into bed and try and not wake him (doesn't usually work).

But tonight is Opening Night!! It has gone quickly and I know I will miss it when it is over, but that is the way the cookie crumbles folks! If you're local come see us tonight, Friday and Saturday at 8 and Sunday at 3 at CCCC. My family is coming Saturday night, and we already have 125 reservations for that night, so if you want to come maybe try and do the weeknights or Sunday. I will return to blogging soon!



Our lovely cast and crew (:

Being an Extra

The episode of Revolution I was an extra in back in January finally aired (The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia)! I was very lucky to catch myself three times even though they were pretty quick!!

 When the main character ran through the market place I caught myself and my friend Kat standing there. It was a moment I didn't have to pause and stil managed to catch it! I jumped off the couch because I was so excited.

This momet I knew  was coming so I knew to watch for it. It was super quick and it took me forever to pause and capture it.

This momet happened before the other two and I didn't even see it... Ryan did! He yelled "I saw you!" And rewound and froze it.

I was in other scenes but they moved so quick I couldn't see myself anymore. But I am happy with what I got! It may not much but it was a ton of fun and I hope I can do it again (:

The Doctor in Spite of Himself

Once again another show has come to a close. This cast and crew were fabulous (as always) to work with and I'm really going to miss them! 

Naturally all shows have their snafus. Ours was a cast member showing up to opening night so drunk he could barely stand, let alone act. Cue rehearsing a cast member with a smaller part who goes on as an understudy in addition to his own part! Luckily he did amazingly and with the help of an incredible memory, a Sicilian rehearsal Friday morning and a lot of dedication the show went smoothly with the understudy in place!

The cast party was awesome, bonfire and hot dogs included. 

My family came for the weekend and saw the show as well as helping us around the house. Our shower doesn't leak, the toilet works, our front garden is planted and the backyard is French drained. Whew. Thanks dad! My mom and I went to the beach and my dad and Ryan did the most grunt work. Stefan and Ramon helped later on but it looks great!

And Lacey helped me fix up my costume and make up to make it slightly less Bo Peep and more milk nurse (aka my part!). 

Had to KCCO opening night!

The final effect. 

The glorious cast!

Flowers from my family and Ryan. 

And Ryan hard at work as I left for the matinee. My parents dog Dippy kept him company! My poor Dip. She's almost 12 years old!

So another show is done. Maybe this fall I can do another one!