Magic Kingdom and Training

On Monday Sam came over and we explored Magic Kingdom together.... it was a great day. We did a lot of talking and officially caught up in one anothers lives. We went on tons of rides, had Captain Jack Sparrow flirt with us, and had a princess lunch at Cinderella's castle. It was a small splurge but totally worth it. We got pictures with Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine! I think I threw the poor girl who plays Ariel through a loop. She saw Sam and I were sitting just the two of us at a table for four and wanted to know where are princes were. We told her they weren't there and she said, "Well they better be protecting you or buying you jewelery, that are the only acceptable reasons to not be here." And I honestly could say my Prince was out protecting me. So she asked where he was exactly... so I said he was a Marine deployed in Iraq at the moment. Her response? "Oh my goodness! I hope he is alright, you make sure to tell him I say hi and to stay safe and come home soon." So like I said, I must have put that poor girl through a loop. I doubt she gets that answer too often! But the lunch was so good! We got five photo copies printed there (with Cinderella) included, as well as a wishing star, magic wand (boys get swords) and an appetizer, main course, and dessert for about $45 a person. Not a bad deal at all! And we lucked out not having a reservation and just managing to get in and get a table! We also met Stitch, Mickey, and Minnie!

We did some shopping, I got stuff to send Ryan in his first Florida care package and then I started a pin trading necklace. Then we got hit.... a huge thunderstorm settled over us and like typical Florida rain it didn't leave after an hour. It stayed. We were in the Monsters Inc comedy show when one of the screens went out. So we had to get the show cut short and we learned nearly all of Tomorrowland lost power in a power surge from the lightining. Boo. We decided to venture home a little after that... and we got soaked. And we had an umbrella!!!

I had work today and yesterday, still training, from 7:30am-4:15pm. Long days!! I am so tired! I need to go to bed early tonight. But I did Storm Struck for my first live audience today! It was so exhilirating, it reminded me why I love going up and performing in front of people. I didn't even mess up, I was pretty excited about that. Cinnamon is trying to convince me to do my assessment tomorrow and check out early, but we shall see how the morning goes. I think I could do it but I am not sure.. meh.

Ryan called me yesterday!!! The first twenty minutes were rough because he kept losing the call every five minutes or so. Then we got it to work and talked for a good 45 minutes! It was late for him, 6-8pm for me is almost 1-3am for him! He said they had been outside the wire all day and took a new dangerous route that had me worrying to hear. And he said, "Don't worry Sweetie, we haven't been hit yet." It was the yet that killed me. Plus the fact I found out the team he replaced was hit two weeks before he got there and other teams at his COP got hit. And weren't completely ok. Allie = Nervous Wreck. Moreso than before!! Ugh. But it was so good to hear from him and talk to him and to hear him laugh!! Oh that was amazing. He was a little jealous when I told him in my email to him that Captain Jack Sparrow hit on me and Sam, but we had a fun running joke out of it during the phone call.

Ok, enough for today. I need to have some food and get to bed. Not sure if anyone reads this thing, but just saying thanks and I appreciate it if you do!

Long Emails and Cranky Days

So I have obviously been cranky lately. Not sure why. Stress... transition of moving, trying to see family and friends my last week home, Babci's surgery and the effects on my Poppy, and of course just missing Ryan, hit me. I emailed Ryan a long email the other night and once again my reply circulated around a certain type of pictures and I sort of snapped at him in my reply last night. I felt bad an hour later though and emailed him again apologizing saying I am cranky and I was sorry and not to bother reading the other email even. He did though.

Today I was meeting a dear friend of my Mom's and mine, Joan, at the church for lunch. She has become like another grandmother to me over the years but she really cannot leave her house much as her husband has MS pretty badly. So these hour lunches are an escape for her and we do not do them often. I was picking up lunch and meeting them all there at 1pm.

Well as I am leaving Ryan IMs me on facebook chat asking if I had a minute to talk. I said of course! Well it was twenty minutes and I was almost late! Eek! But he kept asking me what was bothering me and what it was about him that was upsetting me. I told him it wasn't him, I am just stressed and having a few bad days, they happen to everyone. But then he wanted details on what specifically he did that bothered me at all and I finally just said the pictures thing was getting to me and it just needed to stop being one of the few things he talks to me about.

I had to go after that and I could tell he wasn't happy about that, but I couldn't blow off Joan and she really only could leave Howard for an hour or so, I had to be there. Ryan then sent me a long email basically saying he was upset that I was upset and he was sorry about the picture things, when he talks to me he tends to think about that and thats what comes out, and that there are always guys around distracting him when he tries to write and he doesn't have a lot of time. I know all that! I am ok with that! I promise! I am just in a bad mood these past few days and I lashed out at the one place I really shouldn't have. He said he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and the whole thing had me nearly in tears. I had been distant lately, I seem distracted when we talk, and the last thing he wants is us to grow apart.

I sent him a huge email back. I apologized again. I told him he needs to not worry about me. Everyone has bad days and it isnt his fault. He has to focus on his job and staying alive and not worry about me or be unhappy concerning me. The last few times we talked I was on a crowded train and then running out to lunch, hence the distraction. Then I said my emails got shorter because I now send two or three a day instead of one long one at night. Plus I am in a boring routine now. I get up, pack, clean, meet Mom for lunch, meet a friend for dinner, hang out, and go in the hot tub with my Mom. Not much to say I guess.

I don't know. I am just venting I guess. I miss him so much and I love him more than I thought it was possible to ever love another person. I hope he is ok.

End vent. Thanks for reading if anyone did.