Tradition

My rings and my Babci's rings

My parents recently moved closer to us, so they are now two and a half hours away instead of six and a half! That definitely has its perks... especially since my grandparents are visiting. I haven't seen my Babci and Poppy since our last trip to New Jersey which was Memorial Day 2014 for my best friend's wedding. Too long. My Poppy is 93 and my Babci is now 90. I am so so blessed to have them around still and I hate that our visits are so infrequent. I call them every week at least. So my mom and dad recently decided to bring them down for an extended visit and I made sure the first weekend I did not have work we drove up there.

For years my Babci and I tried to plan a time for me to learn how to make pierogies from scratch, and this past weekend it finally happened! Ryan and I drove up Friday night. Saturday morning he and my dad went kayaking and fishing while three generations of women (and a Dup) took over the kitchen for pierogie making. My mom knows for the most part how to do it, so she was like our sous chef, while Babci taught me. There was no measuring cups or spoons... everything is done by eye and by feel. It may take me a few times on my own to get it right, but at least now I know. And I have this entry to coincide with this amazing memory.

First we started the mashed potatoes. I thought we'd have all these nice pictures, but my mom added her own touch. I know how to make mashed potatoes regularly, but instead of using milk for them we used sour cream. Next came the dough.

We started with about five cups or so of flour added an egg, then half a container of sour cream. It was worked by hand and feel. We also added milk and a bit more sour cream to make the feel just right. The dough then got worked and kneaded. My Babci showed me how with quick efficient movements that I then got to try. My forearms hurt after a few minutes but six or seven decades of doing this barely caused her to blink. I am a wimp!

After we worked the dough we let it rest for at least ten minutes under a glass bowl. This helps it rest and form and the bowl keeps the dough moist. It will stay under the dough the entire time, we cut pieces off to work it as we go.

While the dough rested we finished mashing the potatoes and added them to a separate bowl. This will be our filling. After the ten minutes or so were up we cut a small piece of the dough off the larger lump. A cutting board was floured to be our new work surface. At home my Babci has a giant wooden board that takes up basically the entire kitchen table that was once her mother's... you use what you have! Add some flour to the board to keep the dough from sticking and also on your hands. We then worked the dough in to a long snake and used a knife to cut smaller sections. Those small pieces were rolled into a ball in our hands then flattened onto the board. We then took a rolling pin and flattened the dough pieces. A few short rolls is all it takes, no vigorous quick back and forths, just make sure the dough is even all the way around. Then you pick it up in your hand and add a spoonful of mashed potatoes and make a sort of taco shape.

Using your fingers you mold and shape the dough around the potatoes so you can crimp the edges closed. This part was hard for me to get but by the end I was much better! Some of my pierogies were very stuffed, some not enough. Babci called one or two "hot dogs" and "pregnant". But she was a very good teacher! Much better than we she tried to show me how to knit/crochet and took one look at my work and said, "Oh honey, forget it. That is pretty awful. I'd just quit while you're ahead!"

But I got better! We made dozens and dozens of pierogies and by the end I was making them on my own. It is important to seal them well or when you boil the pierogies they can break open and give you potato soup. I used a fork to crimp the edges of my pierogies to ensure an extra seal. I am proud to say none of mine burst open! You put the pierogies in boiling water and once they float to the top they are ready. You can eat them then or do what we do... fry them in a pan with butter and onions! YUM. Dup Dup was on hand the entire time, keeping an eye on things. She may have been given a little bit of mashed potatoes for her effort. We placed our boiled pierogies in a long glass baking dish with saran wrap between the layers and fried them later in the evening. You can refrigerate them or even bag them up and freeze them for later (like we did to the three dozen or so I took home for a special occasion. So now I know. And I will make my own pierogies and hopefully pass that down to my own children someday.

I also learned how to make one of my favorite Babci recipes, string bean soup, which is pictured above... but I think I will keep that for a separate post. It is absolutely delicious!

I loved being able to see my Babci and my Poppy. Poppy is a lot weaker now. He needs a walker to go anywhere and spends most of his time on the couch. He watches a lot of tv, sneaks candy when no one is looking, and has his good days and his bad days. Most of our visit was great for him, I think having Ryan and I, then later on my brother Stefan and his friend Kenan, made a huge difference. When more people are around he does better. I was nervous about the Dup with Babci and Poppy, I didn't want her knocking them down! She hadn't seen them since she was six months old or so, Easter of 2012, which is the left picture above. The right picture is this weekend and you can see not much has changed. She was Poppy's buddy and loved to sit with him and get pet. Same with Babci. As excitable as she can be she did so well and it was never once an issue. I am proud of my little Duppy! We got Poppy to eat at the table with us all the meals and he even left the house to go to church with us.

My parents' house is surrounded by cotton fields and they harvested while we were there. It was pretty neat to see the giant machines going by and making huge rectangular pallets on the sides of the road.

Ryan and I also took Dup Dup on long walks through the neighborhood and saw some gorgeous sunsets over the river. Nights were getting cooler and sweaters were worn under borrowed jackets, but it was worth it.

This... this though was the most important thing. Time with my family. Time with my Babci and my Poppy. This was the first time in years and years my husband, brother, parents and grandparents were all together. The last few visits were either just Ryan and I, or my mom and I... but we all got some time together this weekend.

I hate saying goodbye to them. I always cry when I do... I have every time since I went to college basically. I know I am getting older and by default, so are they. But these moments are ones I cherish so so much. I am so blessed my family is close enough for me to visit and that we can make things like this happen.

My dad hates pictures and is rarely ever in them, but he was there too. Over in the office reading a new history book of some sort as soon as the cameras and phones came out... but we were all there.

Pierogies and family. You cannot get much better than that.

Gall Bladder

So it has been over a week since I finally had my gall bladder removed and I am finally feeling up to blogging a bit about it. My recovery has been pretty crappy so far.... bad nausea and lack of appetite (sound familiar) have plagued me since the Super Bowl and I have been pretty miserable. Today marks the first day I put on jeans and ventured out of the house (to the grocery store) in almost two weeks.

Back to last Wednesday, the 28th, when I had the actual surgery. I was supposed to be there at 9am with the surgery at 11am. Anytime I have surgery I have bad luck with timing. The night before they call me and tell me not to come in until 1:30pm due to back ups in the OR with a surgery at 2:45. Goody. Especially when you can't eat or drink after midnight! My mom flew in the night before and we had a nice dinner at Olive Garden together before heading home. Ryan surprised the heck out of both of us when he managed to get off work for my surgery. We were convinced the SDA meant it was impossible but I was glad he was able to be there. So we get to the hospital around 1:30pm and the wait begins.

We waited and waited and long story short I didn't get into the OR until almost 4:30 that afternoon. Sigh. I was pretty hungry and thirsty by that point. I sat in a room with my mom and Ryan and watched TV for a few hours as we waited and once it is go time it is GO TIME. I felt like we were waiting for ages and suddenly I was kissing them goodbye and getting wheeled up the hall. I vaguely remember seeing the OR and then... nothing. My next conscious (and quite embarrassing) memory is waking up in recovery sobbing. I mean full on sob fest. My throat was scratchy from the tube and obviously my midsection hurt and I just remember sobbing my heart out and apologizing to the recovery nurses for sobbing. 

Ugh.

I was supposed to have an outpatient surgery but because it started so late the surgery center closed and they wheeled me into the actual hospital for the rest of my recovery. We thought that meant a few hours but then they mentioned keeping me overnight and that was exactly what happened.

My goals were simple... drink, pee, walk and eat. I couldn't go home until all of those were done. I was horribly itchy and in pain so they had me on morphine, then percocet and benadryl as I drank a ton of water. Ryan eventually had to go home since he had to be at work at the crack of dawn but my mom stayed with me. Actually when Ryan left they hadn't mentioned keeping me all night yet and he was quite surprised when he woke up the next morning and I wasn't there.

I had a nice view of the sunrise from my bed at least? It was a long night. I hate hospitals and my poor mom was in a chair... they didn't offer her anything more comfortable until about four am and at that point she didn't want to bother. I did eventually walk and use the bathroom... and when I did I nearly fell over. Blood pouring out of your bellybutton will do that to you. Apparently that's normal after my surgery so a well placed bandaid stopped that problem. Ugh. I finally ate breakfast in the morning and to my surprise my husband walked in as I was eating oatmeal and jello. Work let him go since I was still in the hospital. We eventually got discharged and I was able to go home by 8am or so. We all basically went straight to bed and slept until midafternoon.

I spent the next day or two on pain meds on the couch watching Friends on Netflix while my mom cooked and cleaned and was awesome just helping us out.

The Dup was a little put out at having to share her couch at first but she quickly became my snuggle buddy.

 

 As you can see she just squirmed right in between my mom and I and made due. At 90lbs, give or take, this is no easy task for a Dup!

My view.... she is cute luckily!

And the Dup loves her Granny, my mom, so they snuggled a lot too.

Saturday, the night before my mom left I started feeling nauseous. Saturday we went to the store and I was eating normally but sore... Sunday the nausea was worse. I barely ate all day before taking her to the airport and I was feeling awful by the time I got home. I got on the couch with the Dup to watch the Super Bowl but she wasn't too interested....

By halftime Ryan was home and I felt awful. Before the third quarter started I was throwing up and Ryan was giving me medicine and dragging me into bed to go to sleep. The next four or five days were miserable. I was on anti nausea medicine like crazy and eating nothing but fruit and toast and light bland things and just trying to stay hydrated. I went back to my doctor and they basically said it had only been a week post op and to give it more time. Very frustrating. Finally today I am feeling a little better. Good enough to at least put on jeans and go to the grocery store. I am still taking it easy and watching what I eat, but here is to hoping I am finally on the up and up.

Adios Gall Bladder. You will so not be missed. Here is to hoping I can have my long awaited cheeseburger soon. Really soon.

The Dup Turns Three

I'm It's a gorgeous Saturday so naturally I am stuck in the theatre all day for tech rehearsal. I'm eating soup and bread and on medications so I'm a bit less crabby today.

And the Dup Dup turns three today!

Since I'm in the theatre Ryan took her out for an adventure and emailed me the following (word for word, makes it even better!). I think it is the cutest thing I've ever seen.....

Loaded up in the jeep. (Which She did not like)

Sniff all around the park.

Master of rock climbing

 

 

But how to get down?

She did it!

Biggest stick ever!

 

We jumped over the creek

Time for a drink.... Or a swim instead. 

Then back in the jeep 

 

But this time we left the hatch open and she liked it. 

We got home in time for dinner 

 

A tired Dup is a good Dup

 

 

Plus she had Halloween toys from me this morning that she already promptly shredded. It is a good life for Dups! Happy birthday Rylie girl!

I Quit

Source

Smoking that is.

I was scared to mention it to anyone at first. I was worried I wouldn't be able to do it. Ryan actually quit smoking almost a month ago. We fortunately did not quit at the same time (we may have killed each other if we had) and took our own steps and processes with it. Ryan had a fun night and decided to quit on a Sunday where he was slightly hung over and had no desire to smoke at all. By the end of that day he was sort of wanting one and the next few days he really wanted one, but he held out. Me? I wasn't ready yet. I was scared.

But last week something came over me.

I was ready.

And to be honest, unless YOU are ready to quit, I don't think you will be able to.

Source

I am thankful Ryan didn't push me (much) and let me come to it on my own. I was courteous around him as much as I could be. I tried not to smoke in front of him during the hardest parts of quitting, but he surprised me by joining me outside a few times and then it not bothering him at all before long. Ryan told me quitting smoking was the hardest thing he had ever done. Harder than serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. Harder than bootcamp. Which made me more nervous about quitting myself!

I know smoking is unhealthy. And expensive. We both did... but addiction is a powerful thing. And we were very addicted. Ryan has been smoking for ten years. I have been smoking for six years. Man, seeing that in print makes my head spin. Has it really been six years??? Ryan was usually a heavier smoker than me, but in the past year or so I caught up to him. We were both basically pack a day smokers. If we were out (or drinking) it was usually  more. We would go through a carton a week most weeks, if not more. It was time to stop.

So Friday night, I sat in my garage after we came home from bowling with friends. I had two left in my pack. I felt it in my heart then, these would by my last ones, this would be my last pack. Those thoughts ran through my head over and over again as I finished them and went to bed, throwing my empty pack away as I did so.

Saturday was hard.

I hoped to sleep in so I'd have less time to deal with cravings. Even though I went to bed late I was up early. I took it hour by hour. Let me make it until 9am... 10am... 11am... then I started watching movies. Make it to the end of this move. Then the next movie. Ryan eventually got up and found me practically shaking on the couch... I hadn't mentioned to him that I was trying to quit until that moment.

That entire weekend was extremely difficult. I cried more than once, literally sobbed on the couch as Ryan tried to help me through it. Nicotine withdrawl is no joke, I didn't feel like I could make it. I pushed myself just to make it until bed time. I downloaded free stop smoking ads on my phone. I played with silly putty to give my hands something to do. I tried meditative breathing. I drank green tea. I cried more. I paced. I prayed.

And I made it.

The first seventy two hours are the hardest... the most cravings and the strongest. The vivid nightmares and dreams are rough. Then it gets easier. Not easy by any means, but easier.

From my Livestrong App

Saturday should have way, way more cravings, but I didn't download the app until about five pm so the seven cravings I had occured between 5pm and 11pm when I finally crashed into bed. They are becoming less as in I am having less cravings and they are weaker and shorter. Thank God. This app has helped me so much. When I have a craving I hit the button on this app (after seeing my picture of my motivation) and it gives me encouragement statistics and such. I've made it through some major triggers too.... a work day (now week), traffic, driving/being in the car, having a large meal, leaving a movie theatre and others. The two major ones I have yet to encounter are being around someone or a group of people smoking and drinking alcohol. They will happen sooner or later and I feel like I can do it. I wanted to quit and I feel positive about it.

Ryan has been amazing through it all too. I am so proud of him for kicking this off. He read books about it (Never Take Another Puff by Joel Spitzer, a completely free book available online) and chewed gum to curb his cravings. He also switched from coffee to tea, which for those of you who know my husband and his coffee addiction, this is a feat in itself! We both went cold turkey, no patches, nicotine gum or chantix. I personally didn't even chew gum because I didn't want to pick up another habit. Yes I know gum chewing is hardly as bad as smoking but it works in my brain. We've started walking Rylie in the evenings so we don't just sit on the couch and watch TV. Changing our routine helps!

My latest stats from this morning. That's a lot for one week.

I was scared to mention it before now because I didn't want to let anyone down if I failed. Silly right? I know support is important and I am not out of the woods yet, but I am getting there slowly but surely. I made it through the hardest week and I can keep doing it.

If you smoke and want to quit, do it. When you are ready, you will know, and you CAN do it. The LiveStrong app and the QuitIt app (both free) have helped me immensely, especially the LiveStrong app and the community message boards. If you slip and smoke again, it's ok, just try again. Each time will get easier. You CAN do it. If I can, anyone can.

Thanks for reading all, wish me luck!

Source

Our Next Step...?

Found on Pinterest

Everyone knows the military is nothing but 'Hurry up and Wait'. We've all done it. Waiting for deployments to start/end, PCS orders, re-enlistment, leave requests, picking up rank... our spouse's (and I suppose by proxy; us) do quite a bit of it. This is just the latest step of many. For a pretty direct example check out my husband's last re-enlistment saga.

Anyways.

My husband has known for a long time that he wants to be career military and do his 20 years. With the drawdowns and everything else happening lately this plan is becoming harder and harder. He is doing all he can to be at the top of his game and stay in. Hitting his eight years in the Marine Corps last month has been prompting him to do more considering he only has two years left on his current contract. For the past six months he has been trying to put together a package for his SDA (Secondary Duty Assignment) which is similar to a B-Billet but can only be certain things. Like squares and rectangles, all SDAs are B-Billets but not all B-Billets are SDAs... yea I had no idea either. His options were MSG/Embassy Duty, Drill Instructor, Recruiting Duty or Security Forces.

MSG/Embassy Duty was our to die for wish when we first got married, but to go accompanied you need to be a Staff Sergeant or higher. Since Ryan needs to do his SDA to have a chance of picking up SSgt this is sadly not an option for us. He could do it unaccompanied but we have no desire to go through that. My husband would also rather jump off a bridge than be a Drill Instructor. He has flat out said he'd almost rather do unaccompanied MSG than DI. To each their own! Recuriting Duty wasn't too appealing but Security Forces was the gleam in my husband's eye. It was his original MOS when he entered the Marine Corps and he loved every minute of it. So that was where he decided to put his package together and submit for.

The monitor said they were not accepting for the next fiscal year until May 1, so Ryan was determined to have his package ready for then. He went and spoke to the career planner and got things going. For weeks he ran all over base getting physicals, signatures and all sorts of things. We had a bit of drama with some signatures but the package was complete well in time to get sent up to Headquarters by May 1. All we had left to do was cross our fingers and wait. We knew Ryan's 2 NJPs from back in the day could be an issue, but the monitor for Security Forces when asked heard that Ryan had them but had been prior Security Forces he said, "Send in the package".

Time goes by.

Last week, over a month after the package is sent in, the career planner calls my husband. He asks, "What's up with your package?" My husband replies, "I would ask you the same thing, did you hear anything?"

No.

It was sitting on his desk.

The damn thing sat on the career planner's desk for a month. It went up that day.

It was denied within two days because there were no spots left.

When Ryan told me it was like a punch in the gut. What now? I was thinking at work that he'd maybe try for Recruiting Duty next, unappealing as it was, when my phone started blowing up. Ryan over and over again to call him.

So I step outside and call him and he informs me the monitor for Security Forces is also the monitor for SOI (School of Infantry) and if Ryan was interested he'd want him as an instructor at the school. Were we interested? Ryan and I talked on the phone for less than a minute but in the end he, with my support, decided to go for it. At this point we do not have many options left. So Ryan hastily scrambled and submitted yet another package, as instructed, and we are waiting again.

What if he gets it?

Well.... we will be in the Camp Lejeune area for another three years... damn :P I was sort of looking forward to moving. I can live with it though. I finally have a full time job, we have a house, and it's doable. 86 hour work weeks... yikes. Things will definitely be changing with those kinds of hours. SOI is on Camp Geiger, near New River, so the commute is doable for Ryan especially since most days he will be there by 0430. There will be more overnight duty, up to three times a week possible. All of that seems pretty intimidating since we were thinking of maybe starting a family. Eventually. You know, definitely in the next three years! So 86 hour work weeks with possible three nights away from home with me pregnant then with a newborn? Oh, yikes.

But what choice do we have? If he submits a package for something else, it could easily be denied. All someone needs to see are 2 NJPs (from six years, two ranks and two deployments ago) and that could be it. This is a big opportunity that unfortunately we cannot turn down.

Once again, we wait.

The career planner has the second completed package ready to go. Hopefully we will hear something affirmative soon.

And yes, my husband is calling the planner every day to make sure it is getting sent in.

Now, we wait. Cross your fingers friends!

Merry Christmas

From our family to yours; Have a very Merry Christmas and a healthy, prosperous and happy New Year!

With Love,