We're both struggling a little bit at work. He has huge inspections on the horizon and is working 13+ hour days more often than not and is getting worn out quickly. I have been in my new position in the library for a few weeks now and I am just not hitting my stride. I loved my job in Tech Services... processing new inventory, repairs and lots of different things that made me feel like I was really contributing. Now I work in Reference. I am full time, so more pay and more hours, but I feel like sometimes I am doing less meaningful work than I was before. 80% of my job feels like handing computer passes to people and helping them print/scan/copy/sign on to certain websites. The other 20% I do, helping people find things, using research databases and interlibrary loans, just aren't frequent enough. We're also understaffed at the moment so I am working every other weekend or more and I definitely did not miss that.
So, things are a little frustrating. It feels like any time Ryan and I have off it is spent cleaning and cooking and doing other chores rather than spending time together. On the days I open we do carpool, but it is so early in the morning that our conversation is a little flat. At night we're so tired we are in bed by ten usually, and the time before then is spent just eating, packing our lunches, cleaning and watching TV until we drag ourselves to bed.
I haven't been to the gym in three weeks. First it was a killer cold, now a broken toe that makes putting my sneakers on kind of impossible (I battled a bedpost and my fourth/ring finger? toe lost). I miss going to the gym (shock!) and I feel like I was making real progress that all just got undone in less than a month, which feels pretty pathetic. I hate how it can take months and months to notice the slightest change but only a week to feel like it all has become undone.
I am frustrated. I want more time with my husband. I want to love my job again.
I want to feel happier.
Here's to some hopefully brighter tomorrows.
