When Prayers Are Answered

I cannot thank you ladies enough for the kind comments you left me. It has been hectic crazy, but I plan on going through my email soon and replying to each and every one of you. (Also: I did not mean to imply anyone who wants to EAS does so in a negative manner. I know there are people with families who want to get out and do a different line of work or go to school, I did not mean them. It is more something that is very prevalent at 8th and I where a lot of people just have no desire to be there and cannot wait to just get out. They have given up on the Corps and are very negative towards it. )

We went to church yesterday and I kneeled down and prayed harder than I had in a long, long time. I think the last time I prayed so hard was when Ryan was in Iraq. I saw my husband praying too. I paid attention the entire mass, no wandering thoughts for this girl. (You know, sometimes when the sunbeam hits the priest's head in just the right way and reflects off and you wander with the sunbeam... it happens!) Ryan had his arm around me or held my hand the entire mass. We prayed together. For an answer, a solution, something to get us through.

During mass they discussed an upcoming retreat and Ryan shocked the hell out of me when he said he wanted to go. Sadly when we looked at the information table we saw it was the weekend of our first wedding anniversary and decided against it. But I had another idea. Lent is a time of abstaining, sacrifice, and alms giving in the Catholic church. Ryan already gave up all alcohol for lent (gotta love my Baptist husband, I never expected him to do this with me!) except for wine (because Jesus drank it) and I gave up soda.

Well we agreed this week we were going to give up wine as well. Sacrifice/Abstaining. And we decided to go to the 7pm nightly mass every day this week. Also a sacrifice of sorts. We also grabbed an bag to make an Easter basket for newborns and moms to bring back next week. When we went to the commissary we loaded up on newborn diapers (Ryan was shocked at the price... oy), wipes, lotion, bottles, and pacifiers. Alms giving.

So we have our plan. We're still calling in our favors with anyone who many know anyone. One of my clients at work today said a retired Major General was willing to talk to Ryan and see if he could help. I get the number and go to call Ryan. No answer.

Then I get this text message:
I got Ground Radio Technician. Don'y know where yet and nothing is in writing. It has been verbally stated by headquarters that I am approved!


!!!!!!!


What does this mean?

Well, it is 95% certain my husband can stay in the USMC. To be in this MOS basically the Head of it told his Career Planner he would take Ryan if he had taken Algebra in high school. Ryan took Algebra I and II. So Ryan got his transcript, the Career Planner got his package together, and it was sent to the head of Radio Ops. The Career Planner is hoping to call Ryan by 16:30 with more information.

Nothing is in writing yet. We don't know the when or the where yet, but to quote my husband, "Things went from looking really, really bad to pretty damn good."

We still plan on going to church all week, if not for the original intent of prayer for hope for our future but in thanksgiving.

Ladies, thank you so much for your good thoughts and prayers for our family. Please keep them coming a little longer if you can.

And of course once I know, you will know.



On a different note: As many of you know the "A Final Goodbye" post from {mis}adventures of an army wife has been circulating the military spouse community. According to comments left on her blog Jessica has been located and is safe, received treatment. Bloggers, I hope you all know anytime you feel alone and need to reach out to anyone, I am here. Email me anytime at imyewneek@yahoo.com. You are NOT alone and you ARE loved.

Gee, thanks USMC

Why is it whenever I go to the barracks I hear guys (and girls) complaining about how they hate being in the Marines? How they cannot wait to EAS and get out? They are just counting down the days until they can get out of there.

There are so many of those.

Yet my husband who loves being a Marine, wants to make a career out of it, works so incredibly hard, has a tremendous amount of pride and dedication... is getting screwed?!

It frustrates me to the point I want to just break down and cry. But I can't. Because that won't help Ryan at all.

No answers from the career planners at all. For my husband to remain in the Marine Corps would take an act of God at this point. Every single thing is full or there just is not time for him to go before a huge board and be told no.

So he went to the Army. He looked at this program they have called From Blue to Green. He got excited about it again. He contacts a recruiter who says... only Special Forces are getting accepted at this point. Which we think is untrue (especially after talking to the army guy who lives above us) and he just wanted to go home early and not deal with it.

Now what???

Air Force? Navy? Nonmilitary life? Prior service recruiters??

My husband wants nothing more than to be a Marine. He wants to continue to serve his country and keep doing what he is doing. But he can't. Yet there are hundreds of people in the Corps that would gladly take an instant EAS date if it were to be offered to then. Ryan never thought when he joined the USMC he would have to worry about job security. Ever. My husband graduated high school and was in boot camp three days later. He has wanted nothing more than this since he was thirteen years old. That was when he decided to join and has never once wavered on that. He has no idea what else he can do besides military service. There are no degrees to fall back on. This is his life. He wants it to be his career.

Pardon my language in this sentence, but this is fucking ridiculous.

I can see how it is upsetting him, how hard he is trying every option possible. I can see how he is keeping himself strong and positive regardless, but I am failing to do the same. I can go to a recruiter today and enlist with no problem, but he can't stay doing the job he has done so well for five years.

I have been praying and praying. I keep praying and hoping and wishing and it is doing absolutely nothing. I've never experienced a hopelessness or worry of this magnitude. That bothers me. Especially since it is for the one I love the most.

We need a miracle here. The rest of my husband's career is depending on it.

A Bad time to EAS…

As most of you know my husband’s EAS date is fast approaching. I have had posts for months now about him trying to switch his MOS or debating on what to do next… but we’re getting pretty down to the wire here. Ryan finally found something he wanted to do. Back a few months Ryan decided 0313 would be a good fit for him, it involves infantry and LAVs, so it is a compromise. He can still be infantry but from inside a big armored tank thing, both of us are happy. So he submits his package in early Februaryish.

And we wait. And wait. And wait. We find out it didn’t reach Headquarters until March 2. From there we had to wait 30 days to hear at least something back. This week once again we are down to the wire. Ryan has been going in to see the career planner everyday just to be told the same thing, “It’s still pending.” Well yesterday he heard something.

It doesn’t look good for us.

0313 had one open spot. One guy got offered it already and he has until April 6th to decide. If he doesn’t get it, another guy does and he has until April 20th to decide. Which means Ryan wouldn’t get offered it until then. We cannot wait 26 days. And I highly highly doubt both of these guys will not take it. I doubt the first guy won’t not take it!

No 0313 for us.

But, you know what might have been the reason my husband was third out of three for 0313? 2 NJPs. Yup. My husband got busted for underage drinking, not once but twice, and managed to keep his rank. He worked very hard to prove himself once again and in my opinion he has. Both of the NJPs were from 2008, three years ago now. And it is something he honestly can never do again (get it? Underage drinking? He’s 23? Sorry…). But when his reenlistment package goes in front of the board all they are seeing is Ryan on paper, not the amazing Marine he is. On that first page it says 2 NJPs. The first page. They could easily just close it without a second glance. And it breaks my heart. Mistakes my husband made when he was young are hurting us now. One happened before we met, the other when we were first dating. Three years. Since then he has earned a NAM, rose in rank, deployed to Iraq, and is acting platoon sgt! Does none of that matter?!

So now what? Ryan had his career planner try and keep his package going but for Radio Operator. Not much is open. In fact, only 233 spots remain in the entire Marine Corps for this year. See? Not a good time to EAS.

Even with Radio Operator there is a catch. Ryan’s grades from high school in the area of algebra plus his ASVAB scores need to equal a 115 for Radio operator. He has a 114. I kid you not. But! The career planner is going to make some calls and try and push for him since Ryan does have a top secret clearance, that may be enough to make up for that one point? Hopefully this goes through because if Ryan has to start from scratch with a new package it will take a few days to put together and we are just running out of time.

I need your prayers once again bloggers. Hope we can stay in the Marine Corps!

Ridiculous

This needs to stop. I cannot have another night like last night.

Absolutely fricken ridiculous.

No more.

Texts

So at work, kind of a slow day, when I get this text from my husband:

I love you. I can't get any of the jobs I want. The corps is downsizing. I might have to re-enlist as infantry. Only for two tears then re up and lat move.

Cue stomach landing in shoes. We've discussed him re-enlisting for a long time, but not as infantry. Infantry is not the best for couples, for families, and quite frankly it terrifies me.

There is absolutely nothing else? - me
I'll find out at 1330. But if I lat move into something I don't like I have to be there four years. If I stay infantry I can do only two then move. Can I call you?
Don't have lunch for another hour.
That's fine because I will be finding out my options at 1330. Then I'll text you around 1400.
You know I love you and I will stand by you no matter what. I just know you know infantry terrifies me.
But I can do it... well. Only for two years then I can do what I want.
But that means a deployment, a fleet deployment. Maybe two.
Inevitable regardless.
Not true. A deployment yes. A frontline, fleet, infantry deployment... not inevitable.
True. Call you soon.


Keep your fingers crossed for some good news ladies. My stomach is in all sorts of funny worried nots :(

Chip

Not much has been going on over here... just work and other such things. The big thing this week has been "the chip."

Lucky me chipped a tiny bit of enamel off my front tooth. It isn't noticeable or particularly painful, but my mom said I should get it fixed before it breaks or really badly chips. Ugh. One, I hate hate hate the dentist. A near death experience will do that to you. Let's just say they left the gas on too long and I was having a bad trip on the gas and then blacked out completely during the procedure. So, not a fan. I had to go to a sedation dentist the last time I went since I panic. Two, TriCare is throwing me through yet another loop.

I asked Ryan awhile ago about enrolling/activating dental because someone mentioned to me it was a side company connected with TriCare. I also heard I had to enroll in TriCare but that was done when I joined DEERS so who knows? Either way Ryan never really got back to me and since I dread the dentist and didn't care to push it, it just was left hanging.

Now the chip.

Ok I am an idiot, it is all my own fault. I didn't feel like getting the staple remover and my nail wouldn't fit under so I decided to just bite the thing off. Brilliant right? Great job Allie. I almost deserve to have that chip. Anyway...

I went on TriCare's website and found the United Concordia or whatever the dentail site is called and clicked on enroll. Then I see this...

The TRICARE Dental Program (TDP) is available to family members of all active duty service members of any of the seven uniformed services and to National Guard/Reserve members and/or their families. To be eligible for the TDP, the sponsor must have at least 12 months remaining on his or her service commitment* at the time of enrollment.

*When the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) indicates less than 12 months remaining, United Concordia will validate the intent of the sponsor to continue their service commitment. This service commitment will be based on the time remaining in any single status or in any uninterrupted combination of active duty or National Guard/Reserve status.


Well since Ryan has no idea whether he is enlisting or not, I am, to put it mildly, screwed! We are definitely waiting until February to see what our options are what with him applying for CID are. He needs to be a CPL for a certain period of time to apply for the program and February he will hit his year mark in that rank so he will apply then. So technically we aren't even sure if he is going to re-enlist yet because if he doesn't get into CID then he may not re-enlist!

UGH!

So what do I do? Find a dentist and pay for the chip (and a cleaning) out of pocket??? That will cost me an arm a leg and probably our first born I am sure. And heaven forbid there is a rogue cavity or my wisdom teeth (the two I have, one is kinda in the other three never made an appreance) need to come out, I am in huuuge trouble.

What to do!?

Worrier

I am a worrier.

It drives my husband absolutely nuts. He has the mentality of, "What good does worrying do? It doesn't change anything and just stresses you out. So let it go!" Well it isn't like it is a switch I can just turn off! I wish I could. I am sensitive sometimes, certain comments may stick with me and I will worry about them way more than I should. Worried is even an instant label on my tags for below my posts since I apparently use it too much!

Yes sometimes my worries are silly. I remember when I was learning to drive I was so worried I was going to sneeze behind the wheel. Yes. Really. You know, you close your eyes when you sneeze and you jerk around and when you're operating a one ton vehicle that can be bad! And I sneeze in twos... so two, four, six, or eight sneezes! That is a lot of time for closed eyes! But go figure the first time I sneeze while driving is during my driving test. Ugh. Well, I didn't crash! Now I look back and realize how silly it all was, but I still worried!

I worried when Ryan deployed. Legit there.

I worried about my digestive issues (which thankfully have calmed down over the last six months with this medication and me just being careful... no diagnosis was ever made). Legit worry.

I worried about wedding details and family situations. Semi Legit.

I worried about the move. Semi Legit.

Now, I am worrying about two things. I am worrying about finding a job in the next three weeks because as of the 20th I am officially unemployed. So far anywhere I have applied has been a bust. Monster and Careerbuilder are just giving me shady things. Legit worry.

I am also worrying about Ryan re-enlisting. Maybe not in the sense you would think. I married him in the mindframe he was staying in for career. It was only in June he flirted with the idea of getting out. The thing I worry about is how he will re-enlist. And when, so two things. I don't want him to stay infantry if he stays in. I hope that isn't bad of me, but the idea of another deployment with him right in the thick of things on the front line absolutely terrifies me. He found out at the moment CID is not quite an option because he hasn't been a CPL long enough. Since when you graduate you become a Sgt he needs to be his current rank longer. So maybe re-enlist and wait it out? His contract is over in May 2011, the end of May. The USMC fiscal year ends in October, so the bonuses can change.. up or down. He is flirting with the idea of re-enlisting before then to get the current bonus without risking it dropping. Which would mean moving as soon as October possibly.

I just want a decision made so we can plan. To know where we are going, where I need a job, just what we will do! Silly naive Marine Wife for even expecting such a thing :P


Am I silly?????

Geeze

Worst. Day. Of. Work. Ever.

I almost lost my job. As did my 2 co-counselors. So far we're ok, not going to go into details on the internet for obvious reasons but we made a mistake, owned up, and now are waiting to see how it goes... hopefully it will turn out alright.

Just pray my Monday (my awful awful Monday) does not set the tone for the rest of the week.

Ugh. :(

Thank god my amazing husband makes me feel better... even when he is on duty. I went to the barracks and talked to him about everything and Ryan just is wonderful. He said I couldn't have done anything different and he was proud of me. He used some of his sleep time just to sit and talk with me and help me. Man oh man I love him so.

Now it sucks, but I am going to my empty bed and try and sleep without my Marine at my side.

Ramble

I have to stop being so cranky. I actually heard I was responding to some of the things Ryan was saying to me and it was no bueno. I know I am just restless since I don't really have an adult job yet and I am completely lacking female companionship around these parts. All my girl friends who did live in DC either moved or are away for the summer. I want to see Sex and the City 2 but even I know better than to subject my husband to that!

I am also worried about working at the summer camp. I have to be there at 8am and have basically an hour commute via the beltway. I do NOT do mornings well. So to be up that early then herding six year olds/first graders until 4pm is looking a bit intimidating. Plus the show I am stage managing for the Fringe Festival has some night rehearsals and shows that will take me from camp right to there and I will have a late night followed by a very early morning..... eek.

Ryan and I went to order his new wedding band today. It should be in by June 30th or sooner. Hoping sooner. And we went to Red Robin for the first time as we had seen the commercials for forever and never had actually eaten at one! It was pretty good! Kind of like a combination Fudrucker's/Fridays. But in the car we had a long talk. I told him as happy as I am here with him I do miss Disney. I miss the people, the friends I had that were so close by, the job, and of course the place itself. He totally got it. He knows I wouldn't trade what I have with him for anything but he also knows how much that job and place meant to me. Especially since I have friends who still work there adn friends who are going back for Professional Internships or even are still working there and I constantly see it on facebook I just really miss it. A lot.

I am very lucky. For many reasons. Also because twice in my life I have had a job I sincerely loved. I loved working in the scene shop in college. Building sets, painting, electric work... I think I learned more there in the four years I was there than I did in a classroom. Easily. And then there was Disney. Now I am scrambling to find a job for fall and worried about the summer camp and I cannot shake this feeling of dread for the career spectrum of my life. I am also even semi afraid to audition for a show again. I haven't ever really done a professional DC audition. What if I cannot act anymore? Or never could? What if I suck and never work in the industry I have pledged two decades of my life to?

UGH.

Sorry for the ranty/rambly post. I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer, but if I can't do it here... then what is the point? Thanks for reading faithful followers. Just some awesome alliteration to alleviate Allie's angst.

Thanksgiving and the Future

I hope you all had a fantastic holiday!


So my mom found out Ryan and his friend Garrett weren't going home for Thanksgiving because South Carolina and Nebraska are kind of far... so that is how my boyfriend and one of his best friends ended up in New Jersey with my family for Thanksgiving with me in Disney!!! I was kind of jealous.


Garrett, Ryan, Jill and Derek (cousins), and my brother Stefan in front at my Babci and Poppy's for Thanksgiving

But apparently Ryan asked my parents' permission to marry me while he was there. How do I know that? Because he was nervous about it and told me! Haha. He also let me know that he had been looking at rings since he was in Iraq. He found a diamond and the perfect setting and looked every day for six weeks when he got back.... and he had to tell me THAT because it is so perfect.

Oh my god.

EEE!

Of course no one will tell me how the talk went. My mom pretends to know nothing and I can't ask my dad as I am not supposed to know and Ryan suddenly doesn't want to share! But apparently it "went well". Definitely a good thing. Now that I know that though I want to know when it will happen! And how! And where! I want it to happen so soon but I don't want to know the details and watch it ends up being a long ways away and he just took advantage of the fact that he could talk to my parents without me there. I don't know. Ack.

So now on to our favorite F-Word... the Future.

Ryan and I planned to move in together in DC when I left Disney. Well, I haven't saved as much money as I hoped and I am not having any luck finding jobs so it may not happen. Ryan "splitting" the rent went from 50-50ish to me paying most of it and him helping with other bills. With the money how it is right now I can't do that. So the only solution seems to be me moving home (ugh) again to NJ and working multiple jobs there to save money. It is just so frustrating. I cry over it constantly just because that's how my body reacts to stress. Which sucks.

I just love working at Disney. And if we're going to be apart, again, until February/May/August I wish I could just stay here and work. But I can't. Beneifts and more money and all. Ugh. I don't want to move home. And work in crappy jobs I hate. As I can't find anything, I am terrified I am just going to go back to Kohls and I don't think I can handle it.

I just don't know.

Can I fast forward please?

Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party!

Ok instead of doing a daily update I decided to do a highlight entry of sorts. I can just say work has been going well, I started training on a new venue , Don't Waste It, and the EPCOT Food and Wine Festival started. AMAZING. I love the food (and drink!) plus I got to sit front row of a Big Bad Voodoo Daddies concert, for free! No complaints here. As you can see from the title of my blog, the focus is on Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party!



The Halloween Party was a lot of fun. I went with my room mate Amanda and some of her friends from work and some other people. Most people were dressed up which totally added to the experience. The people I went with were in the Peter Pan theme, we had 2 Tinkerbells, 2 Captain Hooks, 2 Indians, and a tick tock crocodile. Me and another guy Ron missed the memo, so I was a Roarin' 20s Flapper and he wore his family's kilt since he is Scottish. We still all had a blast!



I went trick-or-treating in Dsiney World!!!! I got lots of free candy, my face painted for free, saw the fireworks and the parade which was awesome. I got my picture taken with Woody and Bullseye, his horse, from Toy Story; Captain Hook and Smee; and with the Mad Hatter. The Mad Hatter totally danced with me in the 20s era way which was awesome. We also went on the Haunted Mansion, since it was appropriate for Halloween, and on Stitch's escape before we went to the fireworks and parade.


Still rumors of an early homecoming but nothing definite yet. I miss Ryan so so much. I really want to see him so badly it actually hurts. I started going to the gym (ick) since Ryan kind of goaded me into it. I got to talk to him on the phone and we had a pretty serious talk about future sort of things. I want to audition with the CPs in November to try and get into entertainment down here or try and maybe go full time for a bit to save money (shame about the hiring full time freeze for now) but Ryan was like, "Do you really want to spend a whole year apart?" if I extended til June. If we can make Iraq and Florida work we can make Florida and anywhere work in my opinion, but he seemed a little unsure which kind of worries me. I know if I wanted to stay down here we would be ok and make it work but what if he ends up in California? I just don't know. I want to be with him more than anything, but does that mean not following this job for now? I have a lot to think about over the next few months. I know entertainment is so competitive, so I may be worrying for nothing, but I am a worrier so I am still worrying.

Especially since he asked me (just a thought, in his words) if I prefered a ring to be a surprise or to pick out my own. Naturally I said a surprise! (:

All for now. More training tomorrow!

I Earned my Ears!!

Translation? I passed my training!!! Storm Stuck is an eight day training schedule and I passed it in seven days, so I have one less day I have to be at work by 7:30am. I get to sleep in tomorrow and show up at 10:45am. Hot dog! I still get an eight hour day and all of it will be spent at Storm Struck. Greeting, Loading, Hosting the Show, Working the Storm Kit game and organizing the used 3D glasses. I am a little nervous, it will be the first time I am in rotation without having Cinnamon near by to make sure I don't royally screw up! I did three shows today for an audience. The last one was my assessment and of course out of a 30 person possible audience I only had eight people! It is so much easier to do a show for a big audience than a small one. They are more likely to laugh and interact and smaller audiences are much quieter. But I did a full rotation with someone who assessed me and then took my test, perfect score!

I went to bed at 10:30pm last night and I was up at 6:20am. Ugh. Not fond of that schedule. But like I said I get to sleep in tomorrow. But being up early had one perk. I got to talk to Ryan this morning for all of ten minutes! But I will take it. I ended up having to go to work so it couldn't be much longer than that but it was still good to just communicate with him period.

Work the next three days then off Monday and Tuesday for my birthday! Yay 22! On Monday I am going to visit my Uncle Dave who lives in Melbourne and not sure about Tuesday yet. Maybe Sam and Lauren are coming? Not sure yet.

Magic Kingdom and Training

On Monday Sam came over and we explored Magic Kingdom together.... it was a great day. We did a lot of talking and officially caught up in one anothers lives. We went on tons of rides, had Captain Jack Sparrow flirt with us, and had a princess lunch at Cinderella's castle. It was a small splurge but totally worth it. We got pictures with Cinderella, Snow White, Ariel, Belle, and Jasmine! I think I threw the poor girl who plays Ariel through a loop. She saw Sam and I were sitting just the two of us at a table for four and wanted to know where are princes were. We told her they weren't there and she said, "Well they better be protecting you or buying you jewelery, that are the only acceptable reasons to not be here." And I honestly could say my Prince was out protecting me. So she asked where he was exactly... so I said he was a Marine deployed in Iraq at the moment. Her response? "Oh my goodness! I hope he is alright, you make sure to tell him I say hi and to stay safe and come home soon." So like I said, I must have put that poor girl through a loop. I doubt she gets that answer too often! But the lunch was so good! We got five photo copies printed there (with Cinderella) included, as well as a wishing star, magic wand (boys get swords) and an appetizer, main course, and dessert for about $45 a person. Not a bad deal at all! And we lucked out not having a reservation and just managing to get in and get a table! We also met Stitch, Mickey, and Minnie!

We did some shopping, I got stuff to send Ryan in his first Florida care package and then I started a pin trading necklace. Then we got hit.... a huge thunderstorm settled over us and like typical Florida rain it didn't leave after an hour. It stayed. We were in the Monsters Inc comedy show when one of the screens went out. So we had to get the show cut short and we learned nearly all of Tomorrowland lost power in a power surge from the lightining. Boo. We decided to venture home a little after that... and we got soaked. And we had an umbrella!!!

I had work today and yesterday, still training, from 7:30am-4:15pm. Long days!! I am so tired! I need to go to bed early tonight. But I did Storm Struck for my first live audience today! It was so exhilirating, it reminded me why I love going up and performing in front of people. I didn't even mess up, I was pretty excited about that. Cinnamon is trying to convince me to do my assessment tomorrow and check out early, but we shall see how the morning goes. I think I could do it but I am not sure.. meh.

Ryan called me yesterday!!! The first twenty minutes were rough because he kept losing the call every five minutes or so. Then we got it to work and talked for a good 45 minutes! It was late for him, 6-8pm for me is almost 1-3am for him! He said they had been outside the wire all day and took a new dangerous route that had me worrying to hear. And he said, "Don't worry Sweetie, we haven't been hit yet." It was the yet that killed me. Plus the fact I found out the team he replaced was hit two weeks before he got there and other teams at his COP got hit. And weren't completely ok. Allie = Nervous Wreck. Moreso than before!! Ugh. But it was so good to hear from him and talk to him and to hear him laugh!! Oh that was amazing. He was a little jealous when I told him in my email to him that Captain Jack Sparrow hit on me and Sam, but we had a fun running joke out of it during the phone call.

Ok, enough for today. I need to have some food and get to bed. Not sure if anyone reads this thing, but just saying thanks and I appreciate it if you do!

Lonely in the Happiest Place on Earth?

Is such a thing possible? I didn't think so, that was half of the reason I came here! Distractions, new people, new place... so far my plan has only half worked. When I am working I am definitely distracted. My job at Storm Struck is intense, and since I am the only one training for it at the moment I haven't even gotten to know many people at work. My trainer Cinnamon is really cool, she has been really helpful in me learning the exhibit and makes my job easier! She is getting married on a Disney Cruise to her partner in October and they will be in St Croix at some point, I will have to ask Sam (whose family lives there) some good spots they should go to. So Cinnamon is older, around 40, and aside from her I don't know many people at Innoventions. I have seen my Dad's cousin Diane working the Kim Possible exhibit once now, hopefully more. But based from my training I haven't met too many people.

This is my costume for Innoventions by the way. Stylish no?

And my room mates are still good, but we all have pretty different schedules so I generally only see them in the apartment. So my friends count? Not too high at all. I am glad Sam lives about an hour and a half away, so I have her every now and then, but I thought I would have more friends by this point. She is coming tomorrow to go to Magic Kingdom with me which will be fun!

Storm Struck is actually a 28 PAGE script! I have it memorized mostly now, but the timing with the movie is rough! I am still training until Friday when I will have my assessment. I will do the exhibit with the person moderating it, then I have a test on sponsors of the exhibit, hurricanes, tornadoes, product information, and building homes to make them storm safe. Do you know the wind speeds for a Category 3 hurricane? Or an F-2 tornado? I do! (111-130 mph and 136-165mph in case you were wondering). Yikes indeed.

I guess since my family has left and from work making it harder to talk to Ryan and not having friends yet I am lonely. I have dreamed about Ryan almost every night. Some amazing wonderful dreams about the homecoming he will have or our future, others so terrifying I woke up sobbing... hint: it involved a black car and guys in dress blues. Never will happen, but terrifying nonetheless. No word from him today either. Yesterday was awful. I was a human faucet! On my way to work the song I use for his ringtone, Don't Stop Believin by Journey, came on the radio and I found myself singing and then sobbing simultaneously. Then he called me and it was AMAZING but when he went to say goodbye I cried again. Then in church when they did the military intercession I cried once more and through the rest of the mass. Ugh.


I hope I get to know more people soon. Good news? I am off for my birthday on the 8th!!! Sweet. Maybe I will see Cirque du Solei with my discount? I did laundry today, a dollar a load to wash and dry. What a day off...

I really miss him :(

It's here!

I leave for Disney tomorrow!!! The car is packed and Mom and I leave in the morning. We are driving down to Virginia and getting on the Auto Train for a seventeen hour train ride... with my car on board. We even have snuggies for the ride! I arrive in Orlando on the 18th and get a day to veg, then move in the 19th and 20th. Eek! I have that whole nervous first day of college feeling again. I hope I like my job, my room mate, my apartment, etc... I cannot believe it is here already.

Tomorrow Ryan mentioned he has a possibly dangerous operation. Please keep him in your prayers if you can. I am pretty worried. I got to talk to him on the phone Friday, which was amazing, and Saturday we missed one another, but this morning I did get a call from his aunt and found him on facebook chat at around 9am. So... yes. I don't know when I will get internet access again so I am going to be worrying for quite a bit. I hope he will be alright.

Stressed, 3 Hour Talk, First overseas fight....

The past two days have been all over the place. On Monday my friend, who I won't name, called me for help. She has had small seizures since she was fifteen but usually she has what they call petite mal seizures, where she basically just zones out for a second. But yesterday she had her first grand mal seizure while on the phoen with her Dad, a neurosurgeon. So instead of going to work I left lunch with Nadia, and went to keep an eye on my friend. Her Dad told me what to do and not to go to the hospital unless it was longer than five minutes. We had dinner and watched movies before she got pretty tired and went to lie down. I also saw a beautiful rainbow earlier when we were driving back to my place, it was a wicked thunderstom with the sun out which was cool but there was this massive rainbow arcing across the sky... anyway.

That night turned out to be incredibly difficult. After I emailed Ryan my nightly email I watched TV a bit and settled down to go to sleep. Around 1am, just as I was dozing, I saw my friend have a grand mal seizure. It was about ten seconds long and she seemed ok, but then at 1:20am she had another one, this one a minute long. I started writing down how long they were and how long they lasted which proved to be useful later. She was on a mattress on my floor so I hopped out of bed and did what her Dad told me to... I kept her head to the side and stopped her from hitting anything the best I could. She came to and was ok and we went to sleep again around 2am. At 3:30am I woke up to hear her starting again. Her seizures always start basically in her left arm, so it would be jerking around and wake me up. This one was bigger and longer, lasting close to five minutes. When she came to again we called her Dad and he said that if she had another one, no matter how long, she had to go to the hospital. Which she wasn't too thrilled with but I told her if she had one more she was going. Sure enough around 4:00am she starts again, punching the mattress and slamming her head around... this one was huge. I literally had to fight to keep her from flipping off the mattress. It lasted almost seven minutes, her breathing was worse in this one, almost high pitched, and it seemed like an eternity before she stopped. So into the car we went.

Her neurologist is in Georgetown, the GW hospital near the Foggy Bottom metro stop, so we drove there at 4:30am. We told her Dad and her friend Jen what was going on as it was happening. We got to the hospital and somehow found our way to the ER and she was taken back straight away. As we're explaining what happened they took blood and put her on a heart monitor the doctor is just asking questions.... then her left arm starts jerking. The Doctor was like, "Are you cold?" And I jumped up and told them she was about to start another seizure. This was about 5:45 am. They held her arms and I held her head and just talked to her, trying to bring her back and calm her down. This one was awful, she clenched her jaw down and turned so red she was almost purple and was nearly foaming at the mouth. I don't know if you've ever seen anyone have a grand mal seizure, last night was my first time, and it is absoutely terrifying. I felt so helpless the entire time. I had about two hours of sleep and it was just rough. The gave her some shot that helped prevent another one from coming and it kind of made her a little loopy for awhile as we sat in the ER for ages. I was on adrenaline and couldn't sleep so I just held her hand while they ran tests.

Around 9am they released her from the ER, but her Dad wanted us to go up to the neurology department before we went home. So up we went. The ran a whole bunch of tests again and my friend told me to leave. She told me to go home and get sleep, they might admit her to the hospital, and she'd call me if she needed me. I felt awful leaving her there, but I had to meet Cat at noon and go into work so sleep was definitely needed. I ended up crashing on Cat's couch for two hours and then we went to the Washington Monument for 1:30pm. Of course we get there are realize our tickets are for 3:30pm, but luckily some lady nearby had two extra she just gave us and we gave ours to a park ranger to give to someone to use at 3:30pm. It was cool up there, I could see my apartment from one side!

In the mean time my friend in the hospital taxied home and her friend Jen came in from Minnesota to be with her and watch her. I wasn't thrilled that the hospital released her. The monitoring room they wanted to send her to for one to three days was booked and she had an MRI scheduled already for Thursday so there was no reason to keep her apparently. Anyway, then we went back and I went and hung lights for about four hours. I got 80% of the job, Rich, Mo, and Cat are going to finish the rest. The next two days I will be packing and cleaning, especially since I couldn't do that at all last night since I was watching my friend.

When I got home Jen texted me saying that she had been there about five minutes when my friend had another grand mal seizure. This one lasted about twenty minutes with a lull in the middle. She was a bit freaked so I calmed her down and they called her Dad who called the hospital. About an hour or two later Jen texted me again saying there was another one, this one even worse than the one previously, and they were going to the hospital to have her admitted. I am kind of terrified. She never had a grand mal seizure before and she had about eight now in the past twenty four hours. She can't drive until they settle this which is hard gfor the fact that she and Jen were supposed to go on a cross country road trip Saturday.

So that was my day yesterday. I caulked my walls, cleaned the stove, started the oven and floors... today I am going to the Salvation Army and packing like crazy, then meeting friends at Colonel Brooks for one last night out.

I wish Ryan was here. This is so hard, after I left her at the hospital I nearly broke down driving, all the exhaustion and fear and terror just caught up with me and I just started crying as I drove. On top of that and work and packing and cleaning I just miss him so incredibly much.

Then of course we had our first fight online today since he's been in Iraq. We managed to talk for three hours, the fight only about half an hours worth in the middle. Basically he was asking me for some certain pictures and I just don't have the time right now. It takes me ages to do those and I am not 100% comfortable with it. But during this talk my facebook told Ryan I logged off so her got mad and sent an angry message and I sent one back saying I was still there and we managed to fix things. Even though for a bit I was scared and crying like the silly worrier I am. Then I just said it was stupid, we can't waste time fighting over this crap, and it will be ok. Now, off to packing!