Poor Pup Pup

Just in case I wasn't sure if Rylie had me in over my head or not she just had to give me a little nudge back to the other side! Oy.



As a dog owner, I am definitely not bored, let's put it that way.

This weekend my best friend Sam came to visit. I loved having another person around (especially my bestie!) because Rylie had someone else to bite play with and I had someone else to talk to... that could talk back! We went down to the harbor and Rylie girl insisted on sitting on the bench with us. People would come up to her and pet her and she didn't even have to move, good deal! I got up quick and took this picture on my phone as she people watched. So cute.

But we noticed Rylie, how can I put this delicately... was gassy. I mean craZy gassy that had us running for cover. Then I noticed when she went to the bathroom it was a little (TMI)runny. So Monday I call the vet and they told me to bring her in tomorrow as they were busy. I bring the pup in, as a walk in, and surprisingly saw the vet quicker than when I had an appointment. Hmm...

Long story short poor pup pup has giardia. Puppy Mommy Fail. It is a parasite they usually get from drinking puddles or from other dogs who have it. My vet personally thinks Rylie's favorite snack gave it to her, that being mulch. She loves to chew on it and since it had rained last week and the mulch was damp it more than likely came from there. Now I am trying my hardest to not let her pick anything up on our walks but it is not easy.

For awhile now (worse since she has been sick) Rylie has been extremely bitey. Mostly to me, rarely other people, but when we play she will bite at my hands like no other. I will give her toys and tell her no but she does not seem to bothered by that. It has gone up tenfold since she has been sick. I cannot even sit down without her biting at my hands, feet, shoes or pants. I am constantly up and giving her toys and ice cubes, anything. Geeze pup teethe already!

But two nights ago was a rough rough night, similar to the first night I was alone with her. I think the antibiotics I gave her were messing with her because she was up whining from three am til five am. Non. Stop. Whining and barking. We went outside five times, two of which she went. Needless to say I was a mess yesterday. I was so exhausted and when I get exhausted I get way too emotional for my own good. Sobbing phone calls to my mother usually ensue.

It was a gorgeous day yesterday so Rylie went on two very very long walks. I was sore and tired by the time we were done. For once I was able to shower without her poking her head in or barking at me as she was passed out on the floor. I put her to bed and either I was so tired I slept through any whining/barking or she slept through the night. I think it was the latter.

Thank. God.

It isn't anywhere near as gorgeous today as yesterday (I will take 70 in January ANY day) but we will try lots of walks again. Wish me luck. Two weeks until I visit Ryan and I get a nice little break!!

And to link up with Goodnight Moon, I have Queen stuck in my head today.

No Sleep

Last night was not a good night.

Ryan left yesterday to go back to 29 Palms which was hard enough. He rode into work with me in the frigid cold and we said our goodbyes outside my building before he got on the metro to go to the airport. It was about 18 degrees and I was shocked my tears didn't crystalize :P We are hoping to meet up President's Day weekend, which feels so far away from now, if not we don't get to be together until he graduates in April... which if I think about makes me cry so I can't do that. So I go through that long sort of day at work and rush home to the pup. Happiness!

We go outside, we eat, we play, we go outside again, we play more, we (and by we I mean Rylie) have an accident, we go outside yet again, I shower and finally at 10 I am snuggled in bed ready to put the day behind me.

I call Ryan for our nightly phone call. 20 minutes later Rylie is whining. Then she is barking. Not just a little bark but high pitched, non stop barking like she has never done before. I know we are supposed to let her bark it out, but I live in an apartment, I can't do that! So I hang up with Ryan (upset I can't talk to him already), get on the floor and try talking to her. We have been crate training her all along, soft calming voice and petting her and gently pushing her chest to not let her out. We sit and talk to her, lie down next to her, and basically make her comfy. She has a blanket over the crate, a pillow, towel, toys and stuffed animals inside to snuggle with. But Rylie was having none of it last night. She was biting me through the bars of the crate and shrilly barking non stop.

We go outside again, it had barely been an hour since the last time. We come back in and play a bit trying to tire her out but Rylie did not play like she normally does, she was just biting me and going nuts. Back in the crate. Still not happy.

Long story short it is 12:30am before I can sleep in silence.

Until 4am rolls around. More barking. I take her out. She goes to the bathroom and we go back inside and I put her in her crate. More barking. This goes on until about 4:30 am before she finally stops. Meanwhile in that half an hour I am sitting on the floor next to the crate sobbing and begging her to stop. She does.

Until 5:55am. I take her out again. My upstairs neighbor Adam is leaving for work and mentions he could hear her barking at 4. I apologize profusely but he laughs and said it made him laugh to hear it. He had been there before. Still I am mortified regarless.

We go back in and Rylie doesn't want to go to sleep. She is up until 6:20. I finally doze off to my alarm goes off at 7:20am. We go out yet again. I feed her breakfast.

I am so tired my eyes don't want to stay open and when I think about it too much they literally fill with tears. I was so tired and frustrated and I worked up my stress level so much I ended up throwing up in the bathroom as Rylie at breakfast. I cried the whole way to work so Carrie had to drive and I am crying now as I type this. At work. I gotta suck the tears up! UGH!

I love my puppy, I do, but last night cannot be a normal occurance. I talked to my aunt today, she breeds and shows labs for a living, and she gave me some advice. No water after 8pm, stick to a schedule as much as possible, do NOT play with her after bedtime, and move the crate out of my bedroom. All of which will be attempted tonight.

I feel like a puppy parent failure.

When Ryan was here it wasn't this hard.

Wow that sentence just speaks volumes doesn't it?

Even with a dogwalker during the day I think she is not used to being in her crate. Ryan was in and out when he was home but never 8 hours straight like this.

Once we have a routine down I know it will be ok. But the panicky part of me cannot help but wonder if we ever get there? What if we never get our groove? What if I am a sleepless zombie who cries at the drop of a hat until we PCS and are together again? I texted Ryan all night and he feels bad which makes me feel worse because I know this was not his intention in the least when getting us a puppy.


Sorry, I normally don't go on like this (or have such awful sentence structure), forgive me. The lack of sleep, feeling awful, and just missing my husband so bad I can barely breathe is really getting to me. I just had to let it out.

Please please please do not give me another night like last night.


Sigh.

High Tech Pillow

Everyone knows one of the most difficult things about being a military spouse is the long distance separations. Whether it is bootcamp, school or a deployment there are long stretches of time when you are forced to be apart. Any long distance relationship can be wearing and sometimes the worst part is going to bed at night. Since Ryan has been away at school our Queen sized bed is too big. Half of it is cold and very empty. I try to fill it by stuffing his side with Bentley and Mutsy, my childhood stuffed rabbit and dog that wear one of Ryan's shirts. I make sure his voice is the last one I hear before bed... but it is not the same as him lying there with his arms wrapped around me.

I was facebook and on my super duber stalker newsfeed I saw my friends Aliee and Connie posting about this. Connie is a mom to a toddler who misses sleeping with her little boy some nights and Aliee had found this article and shared it. I promptly jumped in on the conversation. Could you imagine having a high tech pillow glows and pulses to your long distance loves heartbeat?



There are two pillows. When person A lays their head down on pillow 1, person B has their pillow 2 glow, and vice versa. Putting on a ring transmits your heartbeat.



My first thought was, "Wow... that is pretty creepy."

My second thought was, "Wow... I kind of want one."

I miss sleeping with my husband. I love the glowing idea, to know when his head is resting on the pillow next to mind. The heartbeat I could do without! I did share this with some military spouses on facebook and reactions were pretty similar to my own! One very wise milspouse even wondered "What if during the night one of us has a nightmare or something and wakes up to a fast beating pillow with no explanation?" Good point.



True there is the creep factor and the nightmare factor... but I cannot help but think it would be comforting. It doesn't mention fully how it works (like if it needs wireless or phone signal or what have you) but it does mention it is an insert that goes into a normal pillow and has a ring that you wear with it. Either way the product is not available yet. The company is UK based and is still looking for funds to kickstart the manufacturing process. But who knows, maybe they will be here sooner than we think! They have a paypal option on their website if you want to contribute and if they get enough (and you give enough!) you can be an early tester.


What do you think? Creepy? Cool? Creepy and cool and I want one regardless?




(PS - Little Riot does not know me or know I did this post. I did not get compensation for mentioning them or anything of the sort. They do not know I exist. Just a commentary from me! Pictures and information mostly from here.)

Sleepless?

This has been something that has been happening to me a lot lately, especially when Ryan is not here. I know having him far away is part of that, but it seems so silly to be sleepless because I am by myself. Especially when he is perfectly safe, just far away.

A lot of nights I am up super late. Ok having a long phone call with someone three hours behind you does that easily, but even after we hang up I still toss and turn for ages. I usually call Ryan when I get into bed, but last night I stayed up reading until almost midnight before even calling him! I just seem to be in this weird zone when it is just me in the apartment at night. One more tv show, one more cigarette... even if I am exhausted from obviously not sleeping the night before.

And then there are nightmares. I am twenty four years old and I am having nightmares! Sometimes it is just a weird, crazy dream, like my parents and brother and Ryan were flying Delta to Paris for Thanksgiving and at the airport I couldn't work the escalator and I got in trouble at security for having something I wasn't supposed to. I feel ridiculous with the nightmares though. I have seen one episode of the Walking Dead from when my commercial aired, and even for msot of that I hid. Yet I will see the zombie the lady stabbed with a screwdriver in my mind as I try and fall asleep. Or that new movie preview about the people who go to Moscow to party and get invaded by aliens who want to steal our electricity and make people disintigrate? Basically had a dream where I lived it!

Like I said, I feel silly.

But my sleep is heavily thrown. I am up late and out of bed early for work. I down a Sugar Free Red Bull and a Diet Coke or two to get through work. Then I get my second wind at home and I don't want to go to sleep again.

I know this is all because I miss Ryan, but I feel foolish all the same.