Since Last Time

This post will be a hodgepodge of highlights and pictures mostly! This mommy has escaped to Starbucks for a small break and the Little Man is having some Daddy/Son time!

Since being home (for nearly two months now!!) we have enjoyed so much time together as a family as well as other small milestones.

Well, at home. We did do sponge bathing in the NICU, but this was his first bath, in a tub, at home! We definitely have a water baby on our hands, he absolutely loves being in the water.

On July 29 this squish nugget turned one month old! I am taking his monthly pictures on a quilt my friend Kim and her Mom made for Little Man and using his giraffe for size comparison. He was still in a premie sleeper for this picture but it was probably the last time he wore a premie outfit! When we had his weight check he was clocking in at 8lbs and 20 inches long. The blond hair was still there, getting a smidge darker, and his eyes were still a dark blue.

Of course I preordered The Cursed Child months before it came out but Amazon did not deliver until after it was in stores! I was not happy! But once it arrived Little Man and I cuddled on the couch and I read it all in one sitting. There were tears and nostalgia and some really?? moments but overall I enjoyed it. I hope when it comes to the US I can convinced Ryan that we HAVE TO SEE IT. I would love to see how they do the technical elements of this show! My inner theatre nerd was drooling at the ideas.

After he was a little older we took Little Man outside during the day. Just in the back yard for a bit as he needed some sunlight! The wind startled him the first time it hit his face and he jumped! We felt like terrible parents for laughing but he settled pretty quickly and seemed to like it after that. He looks so itty bitty on our big beach towel!

I had to go to the Endocrinologist during my post partum period to work on my thyroid levels post pregnancy, but on our way back we decided to take Will to the beach for the first time. It was dark and much cooler than the 100 something degree day. At first he was not having it because he was hungry, but we gave him a bottle and tried to dip his toes in the ocean...

And he loved it! We did it a few times, it was so warm being it was August in North Carolina, and we loved having that moment with him. We also walked on the beach for awhile and just relaxed. We went back to the beach during the Perseids Meteor Shower too. Will slept on my chest the entire time and we saw at least a dozen meteors streak across the sky as we laid together on a blanket on the sand. I didn't take any pictures since it was a dark night and I just had my phone, but I love that Ryan, Will and I got to experience that.

In late August we drove to my parents' house as a pit stop on our way to New Jersey (which will be a separate post of its own). We stayed a day or two and Little Man got to swim in their pool. My parents' pool is salt water so I felt better about him being in it, plus it was basically 95 degrees in the water as we were in the middle of a streak of days topping 100 degrees! Again, he absolutely loved the water. He kicked his little legs and blissed out in my arms and Ryan's.

Overall I love being Will's mom. He is such a good baby and aside for some formula difficulties we haven't had many issues. I can barely remember my life before him, it seems like he has always been here. We haven't really changed our lives much since he is still so little. We go out to eat, walk in the park, take road trips.... and he mostly sleeps! Now is the time to do it! I know once he is older and moving around those won't all work out, but we even took him to a nice restaurant for my birthday and he slept the entire time without a single peep!

For Labor Day weekend we went to South Carolina to visit Ryan's family... and to house hunt. That also will be another post.

With Ryan's grandmother Skeetsie... she didn't want to put her first great grandson down! I can't blame her. He is the first boy born in Ryan's family since Ryan and is great grandchild number four.

My two favorite guys. Check out that terminal leave beard! It is so weird to see but I am finally getting used to it!

My big, blue eyed, serious man. He just warms my heart! Before I knew it my big boy was two months old! (Ok, that happened August 29th before we went to South Carolina!)

He was 9lbs 8oz at his two month appointment and 22 inches long! My string bean! He did have his first round of shots and I honestly cried more than he did. He did cry at first but then promptly fell asleep for two hours. He then cried a bit after that, as did I, but we fed him an hour or so early and he was ok after that.  

 On September 8th I turned 29 years old. No idea how that happened! We had a low key day as Ryan and I took a trip into New York City when we were up in NJ and had that be my birthday celebration (post coming I promise)! We did go to Duck's for dinner, Little Man slept the entire time and I had one of my first glasses of wine in nearly a year!

Donna and I decided to celebrate my birthday with Moscato and Wine and Design! We had a great time and I got a new painting for my bedroom. One of the best I had done yet there!

A few days later we took Will to Buffalo Wild Wings for the first Giants game of the season... he was not impressed! But we did win so I think he is a good luck charm for sure! (Woohoo 2 and 0!)

 He is almost three months old now and just getting so so big! His little cowboy boots melt my heart! He sleeps mostly through the night, usually only getting up once or twice, but just to eat and then go back to sleep. We are working on it!

His hair is still dark blonde, his eyes are blue, and he is the spitting image of his daddy at times, just with my cheeks and coloring!

Last week my mom came to visit and we drove to South of the Border to meet Ryan and gave Little Man his first visit. I will note, my husband hates this place with a passion but I love how corny it is!! Since my mom was in town she babysat Little Man so we could have a date night. I had been dying to take Ryan to Wine and Design for years and going with Donna a few weeks ago made me really want to go! So we went to an open studio.

 We decided to try Starry Night as it is my favorite painting. They had a double canvas version but we did more along the lines of the actual painting than the example. We got so in to in that we were there for nearly five hours and the last people to leave! Our artist Bryan was awesome! He traced the large tree and houses for us and guided us where needed, but I am super proud of how well Ryan and I did on our own. It was very chaotic getting everyone settled (it is BOGO September so it was packed!) but once we got going we were happy. The painting now hangs over our bed. Awesome!

So, it a nutshell.... I am caught up. I will blog separately about New Jersey and ... well the big change coming down the pipeline. That entry will be husband read and approved before posting. Stay tuned!

Home

So, this post was written on July 25th and.... I never published it. The next few entries are sort of a catch up for me so stick with me if you can!


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Our little man came home on Tuesday July 19, just one day shy of being three weeks old. It has been crazy and amazing. We are loving every moment and Dup Dup keeps trying to give her "brother" kisses!

Here are our pictures leaving the NICU together (finally!) and going home.

It has been almost a week and Will is already getting so big!

Our baby boy is now almost three months old!! I will get this blog caught up eventually,  I promise!

Life in the NICU

For twenty days our little man lived in the NICU. Being he was nearly six weeks early he still had some growing to do, particularly his heart and lungs. He would have "Brady episodes" where his heart rate and oxygen saturation levels would drop... he usually came out of them on his own but a few were bad enough he had to be stimulated (patted on the back for minor and given oxygen for major) since he started to turn dusky from lack of oxygen. Until he could go five days without a Brady (preterm) or three days post term (37 weeks gestation timeframe), we were staying. Ryan and I were fortunate enough that for the first week of his life we had the option to "room in" at the Naval Hospital. Basically by day four I was discharged but they had extra space so we were allowed to just stay in the room we were in until it was needed again. Since it was the fourth of July long weekend the hospital was pretty deserted. On the day Will turned a week old the hospital got busy again and we sadly had to go home. The staff gave us the option to stay at the Fisher House, but we knew if we had to get in the car and drive regardless we might as well be at home. Fortunately we don't live that far from base so coming back and forth was not too difficult.

My schedule would be to wake up at 8am to get to the hospital by his 9am feeding. I would stay usually through his noon feeding for sure but some days even through his 3pm feeding depending on what I needed to do that day, grabbing a lunch in the galley or cafe. I would do all his changings and feedings and help with his vitals when I was at the hospital. I would usually then go run errands or just go home and eat dinner and shower before returning to the hospital for his 9pm feedings. Some nights I'd stay until close to midnight, others I'd go home by 10:30, and we'd repeat the next day. Ryan, depending on his schedule, would usually come with me at the night feeding and hang out for awhile, or he'd stop by in the late afternoon depending on his schedule with classes and other things.

We tried to make his room and bed personalized and comfortable even if he didn't know the difference. The Lil Man bib we were given was perfect for showing off his nickname that has stuck from birth! Even the nurses and doctors were calling him that. The flag was given to us at his baby shower as "baby's first flag" and we had to bring that in with us for the fourth of July! The blanket he is laying on in the above photo is actually one the NICU gave us that volunteers donated for the babies... he ended up with two nice little blankets and a hat.

Being in the NICU is extremely difficult. It is not natural to leave your baby and walk away and then drive away knowing they are left behind. Don't get me wrong, his doctors and nurses were truly fantastic and I am so grateful for all of them, but it broke my heart every time I left my baby. I cried on more than one occasion, and I am sure post partum hormones did not help matters. I also tried to breastfeed for twelve days and sadly we couldn't make it work. Since I had a breast reduction there was always the risk I wouldn't be able to, but my supply just never fully came in. He was only allowed to breastfeed twice a day as it would exhaust him and burn calories so I had to pump the other feedings and I would never get more than a few milliliters... and the longer that went on the more likely it was that it just wouldn't improve. So at twelve days we had to throw in the towel, but at least he got something from me! That added stress did not help for awhile, that's for sure.

It isn't easy to see your baby hooked up to a mess of tubes and wires either. A feeding tube, sensors that tracked his heart rate, oxygen saturation, and respiratory rate were just some of the many things our little man was hooked up to. He also at different points had an IV and had to be under the UV lights because of his bili score (jaundice). They also tried giving him caffeine to help stimulate his heart as well as vitamin D in his feedings.

The days he had to be under the lights were the worst for me. He could only be held at feeding times for half an hour and then had to be put back... no extra mommy snuggles. By the time he ate and burped our half an hour was nearly over. Add in the fact mommy, daddy, and other people all want to hold him and there isn't much time! He also had to wear a mask over his eyes that he absolutely hated.

This photo above was taken on the day I left the hospital to go home when he was a week old. It was my last little snuggle before I had to get in the car and drive away and I think I cried from the first moment I held him until we got in to our house. Even with both our moms there I still had to go in the shower and cry as it was just an awful feeling. Seeing the "Welcome Baby Will" banner over our fireplace and the nursery all set and Will being across town was just so wrong for me.

Our growly man had a personality from the start though. He loved to be held and snuggled and he hated having his blood pressure or temperature taken. We jokingly said he would be the first case of baby hypertension because when he got mad his heart rate would jump into the 180s or even 200s!

Once his feeding tube was removed he looked like a different baby! He took to bottle feeding like a champ and began to look more and more like his daddy every day. To go home all feedings had to be done by mouth so this was a big step in the right direction for him!

To get sent home he had to pass a few tests, including his hearing test. I think he looked like an adorable little funkmaster DJ with the headphones and hat on, but that's just me! He passed with flying colors.

On Sunday we were able to give our little guy a bath for the first time (for us, not him). Since his umbilical cord was still on we had to just lay down pads and wash him from a bucket with no immersing, but it worked really well and he seemed ok with it! His cord came off the next day naturally, so he is good to go for future baths!

The other big test he had to pass was his car seat test. He had to sit in his car seat for an hour and a half without having a Brady. He nearly failed at first because within the first half an hour he was trying so hard to poop he gave himself a small Brady! Luckily the nurses knew why and didn't count it as a full Brady since he was awake and alert and it was under ten seconds... the Bradys in his sleep were much more worrisome. He did restart his test and do nearly two hours in the seat but he passed!

Today we were able to bring our Little Man home, one day shy of him being three weeks old. I know our NICU stay was not as long or difficult as some families, but it still was not easy for sure. I am so glad that at this moment my husband is giving our son a bottle in his room just so I could update my blog for a few moments. I am lucky we fight over who gets to hold him and snuggle him. I am lucky my son is healthy. I am lucky he is finally home.

Let the chaos officially begin! Our lives as we knew them will never be the same.

James William

 So baby Will came early at 34 weeks 5 days and took us all by surprise!

On Tuesday night my husband and I got ready for bed and as I went to hop up into our bed I thought I started to wet myself! I quickly ran into the bathroom and my husband jokingly ask if my water broke. I laughed it off thinking I just had to go to the bathroom and was alright. So we go to sleep and I start feeling some small cramps. It's around ten pm and I could not get comfortable. They started getting worse and worse until about ten thirty when my husband got annoyed and said we were going to go to the hospital. I still had two days of work planned and knew it was too early, I couldn't possibly be in labor! It had to be another false alarm like I had at 31 weeks. 

I told him I was fine but he started throwing things in to a duffle bag asking me what to pack. I had no idea but the cramps started getting worse and worse. I began timing them and they were happening every three to four minutes and lasting thirty to ninety seconds. We ran around like crazy and by the time we got in the car I was yelling every time it hit. 

I had called ahead to labor and delivery and by the time I got in to triage at 11pm I was having contractions almost every two minutes lasting a minute. They looked and told me my water broke already and I'd feel a rush of fluid. Then they mentioned I was already at 6 cm. 

They immediately moved me to a delivery room and I couldn't get off the bed, so they wheeled me there and switched me. I instantly got nauseous and ended up throwing up as soon as they gave me a bag. 

Mind you in five and a half weeks early. I didn't take any Lamaze classes (all scheduled over the next month!) and they were telling me I was too far along for pain meds. Every contraction I was screaming my head off as they told me to "breath out like I was blowing out a candle" and to "control it". Easier said than done. 

My mom was in NJ visiting my grandparents and couldn't get there in time, she was supposed to be my coach/doula! So my husband and I were winging it. He did great but I was in so much pain. The birthing ball didn't help nor did any other position besides being on my back. And for good reason. By midnight I was fully at ten centimeters. I got from six to ten in half an hour and there fully in less than two hours!

The doctors originally thought with how fast I was progressing I couldn't do pain meds but once I hit ten centimeters I was only at +1 or so and stalled. So I agreed (slash begged) for an epidural. There was a student anesthesiologist so it took them a few contractions to get it going but once it did I was in heaven. HUGE amazing difference. I actually managed to nap for two hours or so and relax a bit. 

Once the epidural kicked in I felt fabulous. As you can see by the picture I sent my mom to prove I was ok!

Around 5:30am the doctors said we'd start trying to push. Apparently my pelvis is narrow and our Bean got stuck by my public bone and was not having an easy time. They kept mentioning a c section but he'd get a little closer and then pause again. I could feel my contractions even with the epidural so the doctors were willing to let me keep trying but he kept turtling. 

Finally after three hours plus of pushing James William (aka Will) came into the world at 8:49am. He was blue and quiet and we all held our breath until I heard him cry. My husband got to quickly cut the cord and they whisked him away. I briefly got to hold him for five seconds before they rushed him go the NICU. I sent my husband with him while I passed my placenta and got sewn up. I had a second degree tear but otherwise was ok. 

It took awhile for me to get cleaned up, have the epidural wear off, and go up to a regular room. All the while I kept waiting to see my son! Finally after five hours I got to go to the NICU and see him. 

He's perfect. 

He will have to stay in the NICU for awhile since he keeps having "Brady episodes" where his heart rate and oxygen saturation drops. He has to go five days without an episode to go home and he's having about ten a day right now. His bili score was also high so he is under the UV light to help his jaundice. We're also waiting on his blood work to come back and make sure his thyroid is normal. 

I'm still in the hospital and luckily get to see Will often. I'm trying to pump and breastfeed and the kid is a champ so far. 

My mom arrived yesterday to help and my husband is a superstar with him too. 

I can't wait until we can all go home (even though our nursery is still completely in boxes and not ready) but it may be awhile still. 

Thank you for all the prayers and support sent via social media or text or calls. We are all feeling the love so very much and will do our best to keep people updated.