Doctors and Opinions

So I have had back issues since highschool. They come and go, it is usually horribly tight and I pull it out very easily. I did so last month quite horribly. Ryan almost took me to the ER since I was in so much pain, but the idea of getting in the car made me feel physically ill. Instead we dug out the percocet and I knocked out for the night. For days after I couldn't even bend, which was hell working all day with six year olds!!! But from then on I tried to get a doctor appointment. I had enough. Eight years of this on and off is ridiculous!

I relocated to Bolling Air Force base for my Dr and I could not get an appointment. I was off for two weeks before starting my new job and there was zero availability. If I heard, "If you are in severe pain you can go to the ER or Urgent Care." one more time I was going to lose it. I was not in pain at the time, I was trying to prevent future issues and figure stuff out!! I finalyl got frustrated this week and called TriCare and changed my provider to Ft Belvoir. I changed my information, called the appointment line, and had an appointment scheduled THAT NIGHT at 6:40pm!! Amazing. This was Monday by the way.

After work I drive over to Belvoir, about twenty or thirty minutes away, and my GPS takes me to the wrong gate. You military gals know that is a pretty big no-no. Oops. Even playing the "Sorry I've never been here before" card I still felt like an ass. So I get to the right gate and no surprise I get pulled over for random inspection. Apparently I was the first gold car they saw that day and he thought, Why the heck not? His words exactly. Did I mention I have five minutes to find the hospital at this point, and park and get to my appointment? I pop the trunk (and prop it open with my stick as the spring doesn't hold it open anymore) the hood (with difficulty, I couldn't get it for some reason) and all the doors as the dog sniffs around. They give me directions to the hospital and I have one minute to get there.

Oy.

I arrive at the hospital almost ten minutes late. I RUN up the stairs and somehow find the clinic and miraculously enough they agree to see me! My blood pressure and heart rate were through the roof from my run so the nurse had to take it three times! Oops again.

I see the doctor, he is not my new primary but he was available and I was fine with that. I told him about my back pains, my problems, and my theories. It was the most productive appointment I ever had. Within five minutes after my appointment walked down the hall to the pharmacy and got my two perscriptions filled (free! I love that!) for Percocet and Flexoril, a muscle relaxer, for when I need them. Then I walked a little further down the hall and right in for an xray on my back. No wait whatsoever!! I am pretty impressed Belvoir! I also got two recommended consultations, one with a physical therapist and one with a plastic surgeon.

A plastic surgeon you ask?

Well, myself and quite a few people I am close with have a theory behind my bad back. It started in highschool when I went from an A cup to a C cup my freshman year. I have never in my life been a B cup! I skipped right over it. Ever since I routinely pull my back out. It is excrutiating! I slouch all the time, I am extremely self conscious of my chest size (which has since of course grown). Clothes shopping is awful. If it fits my chest it doesn't fit my waist and vice versa. Don't even get me started on bathing suits! The one bikini I have owned in the past eight years I got at a specialty store and came with underwire and thick straps. If I wore, say a bikini from Target, I would look like a street walker. If I put two together I would maybe cover one! Once I heard Barbie, if she were a real person, would not physically be able to stand up straight because of her proportions. I can relate.

I have considered a breast reduction since about my senior year of highschool, when my chest started getting really big. No I know my size compared to some is not that bad. I borderline a 36D and DD. It is hard. I feel very out of proportion. In jeans I maybe wear a size 4. My waist, like when I am finding dresses, can fit into a 6/8... but my chest I have to get a 10 or 12 to fit! I was terrified when shopping for my wedding gown I was going to look huge and top heavy no matter what. I didn't want a strapless dress at all. But luckily I found a beautiful dress that somehow worked with my shape.

The doctor did warn since I am not, "that big", I may have a hard time getting such a thing approved. Also because I am young, and never had children it is another factor that makes them wary. That is one that makes me push, I know when you get pregnant your chest grows. I am terrified of that. I'd get bigger than this??? Also already having back problems I would not be a happy camper. My mother-in-law mentioned when she was pregnant with my sister-in-law Hannah that Hannah sat basically on her spine the whole time. She felt like she had "back labor" towards the end. I wouldn't be able to move if I had that!

I know elective surgery is risky. I have never had anything like that done, I mean I still have my wisdom teeth! But I think the risk may be worth it. To not be in pain. To wear clothes that fit. To not be self conscious all the time. To meet someone and have them look me in the eye instead of the boobs. To not have indents in my shoulder large enough to fit my finger in from my bra bearing so much weight.

So I am reaching out to you readers. What are your thoughts on such a thing? Is an elective surgery a good idea? Should it only be a last LAST resort? Should I go for it and see if they would approve it? Ryan supports it if it means being out of pain and comfortable (Of course I want a B and he wants a C but that is a whoooole nother story!)

What do you think?