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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Ramble

I have to stop being so cranky. I actually heard I was responding to some of the things Ryan was saying to me and it was no bueno. I know I am just restless since I don't really have an adult job yet and I am completely lacking female companionship around these parts. All my girl friends who did live in DC either moved or are away for the summer. I want to see Sex and the City 2 but even I know better than to subject my husband to that!

I am also worried about working at the summer camp. I have to be there at 8am and have basically an hour commute via the beltway. I do NOT do mornings well. So to be up that early then herding six year olds/first graders until 4pm is looking a bit intimidating. Plus the show I am stage managing for the Fringe Festival has some night rehearsals and shows that will take me from camp right to there and I will have a late night followed by a very early morning..... eek.

Ryan and I went to order his new wedding band today. It should be in by June 30th or sooner. Hoping sooner. And we went to Red Robin for the first time as we had seen the commercials for forever and never had actually eaten at one! It was pretty good! Kind of like a combination Fudrucker's/Fridays. But in the car we had a long talk. I told him as happy as I am here with him I do miss Disney. I miss the people, the friends I had that were so close by, the job, and of course the place itself. He totally got it. He knows I wouldn't trade what I have with him for anything but he also knows how much that job and place meant to me. Especially since I have friends who still work there adn friends who are going back for Professional Internships or even are still working there and I constantly see it on facebook I just really miss it. A lot.

I am very lucky. For many reasons. Also because twice in my life I have had a job I sincerely loved. I loved working in the scene shop in college. Building sets, painting, electric work... I think I learned more there in the four years I was there than I did in a classroom. Easily. And then there was Disney. Now I am scrambling to find a job for fall and worried about the summer camp and I cannot shake this feeling of dread for the career spectrum of my life. I am also even semi afraid to audition for a show again. I haven't ever really done a professional DC audition. What if I cannot act anymore? Or never could? What if I suck and never work in the industry I have pledged two decades of my life to?

UGH.

Sorry for the ranty/rambly post. I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer, but if I can't do it here... then what is the point? Thanks for reading faithful followers. Just some awesome alliteration to alleviate Allie's angst.

5 comments:

  1. I can say with all certainty I know totally exactly how you feel!! I've been in Hawaii for 6 months and as much as I want to love it here, as much as I should love it here -- I just don't. I have one semi friend here & I hate my new job. I wish I had a magic potion for you, but all I can say is you are not alone at least.
    PS-- years ago I also worked for Disney & I totally loved it!!
    Hang in there. Here's to hoping things get better :)

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  2. I know what you're going through (I live North of DC, haha)... I moved here after our wedding from Arizona... long way away from my family and friends and jobs. I'm still unemployed, so the fact that you have a job is great!

    I hope things get better for you soon =)

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  3. You're right, if you can't rant here then where can you rant at? I hope that the camp thing works out for you!!! I think you'll do fine :)

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  4. Allie, when you get afraid of the 6 years old campers remember New Year's Eve at EPCOT! If you could handle that, I bet you can handle anything (at least that's what I always think)
    You know how much I miss Disney too but let's try to be happy we had that opportunity (hum.. I'm not sure if it helps, I still miss it a lot)! Hang in there girl, and believe in yourself!
    Miss you! Take care!
    The brazilian girl

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  5. six year olds are easy...don't herd them, figure out which of them are leaders! get the leaders on your side, the rest will follow - and they even self-police! Love it.

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