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Thursday, January 5, 2012

No Sleep

Last night was not a good night.

Ryan left yesterday to go back to 29 Palms which was hard enough. He rode into work with me in the frigid cold and we said our goodbyes outside my building before he got on the metro to go to the airport. It was about 18 degrees and I was shocked my tears didn't crystalize :P We are hoping to meet up President's Day weekend, which feels so far away from now, if not we don't get to be together until he graduates in April... which if I think about makes me cry so I can't do that. So I go through that long sort of day at work and rush home to the pup. Happiness!

We go outside, we eat, we play, we go outside again, we play more, we (and by we I mean Rylie) have an accident, we go outside yet again, I shower and finally at 10 I am snuggled in bed ready to put the day behind me.

I call Ryan for our nightly phone call. 20 minutes later Rylie is whining. Then she is barking. Not just a little bark but high pitched, non stop barking like she has never done before. I know we are supposed to let her bark it out, but I live in an apartment, I can't do that! So I hang up with Ryan (upset I can't talk to him already), get on the floor and try talking to her. We have been crate training her all along, soft calming voice and petting her and gently pushing her chest to not let her out. We sit and talk to her, lie down next to her, and basically make her comfy. She has a blanket over the crate, a pillow, towel, toys and stuffed animals inside to snuggle with. But Rylie was having none of it last night. She was biting me through the bars of the crate and shrilly barking non stop.

We go outside again, it had barely been an hour since the last time. We come back in and play a bit trying to tire her out but Rylie did not play like she normally does, she was just biting me and going nuts. Back in the crate. Still not happy.

Long story short it is 12:30am before I can sleep in silence.

Until 4am rolls around. More barking. I take her out. She goes to the bathroom and we go back inside and I put her in her crate. More barking. This goes on until about 4:30 am before she finally stops. Meanwhile in that half an hour I am sitting on the floor next to the crate sobbing and begging her to stop. She does.

Until 5:55am. I take her out again. My upstairs neighbor Adam is leaving for work and mentions he could hear her barking at 4. I apologize profusely but he laughs and said it made him laugh to hear it. He had been there before. Still I am mortified regarless.

We go back in and Rylie doesn't want to go to sleep. She is up until 6:20. I finally doze off to my alarm goes off at 7:20am. We go out yet again. I feed her breakfast.

I am so tired my eyes don't want to stay open and when I think about it too much they literally fill with tears. I was so tired and frustrated and I worked up my stress level so much I ended up throwing up in the bathroom as Rylie at breakfast. I cried the whole way to work so Carrie had to drive and I am crying now as I type this. At work. I gotta suck the tears up! UGH!

I love my puppy, I do, but last night cannot be a normal occurance. I talked to my aunt today, she breeds and shows labs for a living, and she gave me some advice. No water after 8pm, stick to a schedule as much as possible, do NOT play with her after bedtime, and move the crate out of my bedroom. All of which will be attempted tonight.

I feel like a puppy parent failure.

When Ryan was here it wasn't this hard.

Wow that sentence just speaks volumes doesn't it?

Even with a dogwalker during the day I think she is not used to being in her crate. Ryan was in and out when he was home but never 8 hours straight like this.

Once we have a routine down I know it will be ok. But the panicky part of me cannot help but wonder if we ever get there? What if we never get our groove? What if I am a sleepless zombie who cries at the drop of a hat until we PCS and are together again? I texted Ryan all night and he feels bad which makes me feel worse because I know this was not his intention in the least when getting us a puppy.


Sorry, I normally don't go on like this (or have such awful sentence structure), forgive me. The lack of sleep, feeling awful, and just missing my husband so bad I can barely breathe is really getting to me. I just had to let it out.

Please please please do not give me another night like last night.


Sigh.


7 comments:

  1. Hey love.. just thought I would let you know you're not alone! TJ and I just got a puppy too and it is definitely NOT all fun and games! There are some days where we want to just lock her in a soundproof room and let her whine, but I PROMISE it will get better. Call or text me if you want to talk!!

    Sara

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  2. Aww, it gets better!! I promise. I actually had such a hard time when we got Roxy that I let my mom watch her some nights. She would whine and want to go out, or get out of her crate. It is definitely hard, don't feel like you're doing anything wrong, she's just getting used to everything. set the ground rules and she will learn to love the routine (dogs love routine). Roxy was a quick learner though so within months I let her sleep outside her crate and she knew she couldn't leave her spot or she'd be put back in ahah. Oh, and I'm up nearly that often with the baby now!! ;) And that my friend, is rough!

    I have to see your pup, I must have missed that post....

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  3. First of all I'm so sorry! I never had that much trouble even with my daughter lol. But I do have an incredibly well behaved dog so I might be able to help a bit. Your aunt a was absolutely right about no water and moving the crate out of your room. My dog only barked in his cage for about 2 weeks before he stopped. After about a month he didn't even need the crate at night. Now although my dog literally never had an accident in the house (I know I'm blessed) I do know that dogs will not dirty their space. So if you put her in her crate at night and she barks just let her bark until she gets tired. She shouldn't have to go out again until you wake up. As long as you follow the no food or water after 8pm rule.
    It gets better I promise. I have a golden retriever so it's a similar breed and crate training did wonders for him. Keep it up you can do this :-)

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  4. :( I'm sure that's rough! I hope it gets better soon.

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  5. aww! Im so sorry! Having a puppy is hard... BUT it does get easier! After the first few weeks it gets better and they start learning, haha! Have you tried bringing the crate in your bedroom and putting it beside your bed? One of my girls sleeps in the crate and they both get locked up in the "box" when we leave. But I found it helpful when I was training her to say "lets go get in the box" (with a positive voice) and she would get in the crate and I would give her a treat for being a good girl. I also put a cover over the crate cause they feel more "secure and safe" when the crate is covered up. Good luck girl :) It will get better..:)

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  6. I always heard that having a puppy was great training for having a child... although I pray that's not the case, sometimes pups can be a complete PAIN. I hope she gets into the groove and you can catch some much needed sleep... or, you know, you and I can be sleepless zombies together!

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  7. Aw twin, good luck! It will get better. I'm guessing you can't let her sleep in bed with you? It would comfort you while Ryan's gone AND Rylie...but I'm thinking that might mess up the training period that others are talking about (I'm a cat mom, so they were much different as kittens). You could try playing Josh Groban softly near her cage...it sounds silly, but I swear by it with my cats. As soon as I play Josh in the car and they calm right down. Also, I bet she is sensing your emotions, and can tell you are upset with Ryan gone.

    Good luck, you are NOT a puppy parent failure!

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