Ramble

I have to stop being so cranky. I actually heard I was responding to some of the things Ryan was saying to me and it was no bueno. I know I am just restless since I don't really have an adult job yet and I am completely lacking female companionship around these parts. All my girl friends who did live in DC either moved or are away for the summer. I want to see Sex and the City 2 but even I know better than to subject my husband to that!

I am also worried about working at the summer camp. I have to be there at 8am and have basically an hour commute via the beltway. I do NOT do mornings well. So to be up that early then herding six year olds/first graders until 4pm is looking a bit intimidating. Plus the show I am stage managing for the Fringe Festival has some night rehearsals and shows that will take me from camp right to there and I will have a late night followed by a very early morning..... eek.

Ryan and I went to order his new wedding band today. It should be in by June 30th or sooner. Hoping sooner. And we went to Red Robin for the first time as we had seen the commercials for forever and never had actually eaten at one! It was pretty good! Kind of like a combination Fudrucker's/Fridays. But in the car we had a long talk. I told him as happy as I am here with him I do miss Disney. I miss the people, the friends I had that were so close by, the job, and of course the place itself. He totally got it. He knows I wouldn't trade what I have with him for anything but he also knows how much that job and place meant to me. Especially since I have friends who still work there adn friends who are going back for Professional Internships or even are still working there and I constantly see it on facebook I just really miss it. A lot.

I am very lucky. For many reasons. Also because twice in my life I have had a job I sincerely loved. I loved working in the scene shop in college. Building sets, painting, electric work... I think I learned more there in the four years I was there than I did in a classroom. Easily. And then there was Disney. Now I am scrambling to find a job for fall and worried about the summer camp and I cannot shake this feeling of dread for the career spectrum of my life. I am also even semi afraid to audition for a show again. I haven't ever really done a professional DC audition. What if I cannot act anymore? Or never could? What if I suck and never work in the industry I have pledged two decades of my life to?

UGH.

Sorry for the ranty/rambly post. I don't mean to be such a Debbie Downer, but if I can't do it here... then what is the point? Thanks for reading faithful followers. Just some awesome alliteration to alleviate Allie's angst.