Tarnished

At the moment I feel like a reverse King Midas. Everything I touch tarnishes. Maybe I am just being over dramatic and ridiculous, but I am not having an easy time as of late. (Ok, and I am extremely PMS if you must know, it is SO not helping)

Examples?

I was supposed to be an extra in an independent film on Saturday. Well it is getting to be later in the week and I haven't heard a peep out of the company. I go on Facebook and see that they posted something along the lines of "The party scene has been rescheduled due to storm damage. If you are on the call sheet you received an email about this last week." I comment saying I never received any email, just phone confirmation after the audition. They tell me they had a major database glitch and some people were deleted and that they are working to fix it. But at this point I doubt they will even use me. I am sure my spot was filled after my "deletion" so I am not bothering to get my hopes up. I was so excited. I miss acting so much and I was really looking forward to this. Tarnished.

Again, I was supposed to have a phone interview last week for an amazing job that I was really looking forward to trying to get. The only phone interview I had before (Disney) they called me. Maybe it was stupid of me to assume that was how it works... but the time for the interview comes and no call. I call the interviewer maybe fifteen/twenty minutes later after finding her number in my email and leave a voicemail. Then I emailed her that evening. And again this morning. Maybe because I made an assumption I looked incompetent and burned a bridge before I could even start to cross it. Tarnished.

I have enough rejection letters from jobs that I can wallpaper our bathroom. If we were needing money I know I could go back to retail or anything shift work like, but after being apart for nine months Ryan and I do not want me to have a job that has me work nights and weekends when he works weekdays. We'd never see each other. So my framed college diploma is gathering dust in its frame on the wall in the office as I do laundry, vacuum, clean, cook, watch the dog and run miscellaneous errands. I miss having a job I enjoyed, where I felt a sense of purpose. At this point retail may be my only option so we will just have to suck it up and I will have to work some nights and weekends just to have something on my resume. Something to get me out of the house. Something that will not make me feel like having a fight with my husband on washing the crock pot is the end of the world. Tarnished.

Couple all that with a million mosquito bites, poison ivy and a break out rival to what I had when I was in high school and my self confidence has plummeted. I may have gained weight too.... I can't tell. We don't own a scale but I think I have. Tarnished.

My blog has suffered because I honestly just have not had anything to write about. I refuse to turn this place into a ranting release every entry. I guess I can have one now and then, but I don't want that to be all I do. So the blog may be stepping back until I have something worth writing about. Tarnished.

Thanks for sticking with me. Now, I need to go find some oil and untarnish this big ol' mess of mine.

We Are Worth More

Have you all seen this article?

Yesterday it came to my attention on Facebook and I have to say.... it made me really angry. "12 Great Jobs For Military Spouses". As someone who is currently looking for work it definitely caught my eye. Maybe I missed something, maybe there could be tips and hints and advice for lots of women out there in my exact same position.

I was wrong.

The article starts off well. It talks about how compared to the overall public military spouses are more educated. 84 percent of military spouses have some college. Further more 25 percent have a bachelor’s degree and 10 percent have an advanced degree. Those numbers don't even include other marketable skills that require special licenses. 35 percent of military spouses in the workforce are in jobs that require a professional license (which is an initiate that Michelle Obama and Jill Biden are working to allow those spouses to work in all 50 states without transferring licenses every three to five years). In fact 85 percent of spouses are in my exact situation. 85 percent. That number seems disturbingly high to me.

Seeing those numbers made me proud. We are a well educated community with a lot to offer the world. Our spouses being military does make that more difficult, but not impossible. Moving so much does stunt career progress sometimes, you may work for a company that has no representation in your new location, so you have to start over. I can relate.

But then I got pissed.

The twelve great jobs this woman writes about? Insulting. For an educated group of people it seems more like a list for a high schooler looking for their first job. Hell, if the article had a different spin, it may not have annoyed me so much. Maybe if it was "12 Money Making Endeavors for Military Spouses Between Jobs" or "Extra Income Ideas" it may not have annoyed me so much. But for saying how educated we are and what we can achieve.... it boils down to this.

Direct Selling (like Avon or Pampered Chef), Child Care and Babysitting, Selling handcrafted goods online (Etsy), Tutoring and Substitute Teaching, Errand Runner, Catering and/or Cake Making, Pet Services, Gift Basket Creator, Personal Trainer, Administrative Assistant, IT Specialist and Tax Preparer.

Those are the 12 great jobs?? Now, some are fine, even terrific careers. I know plenty of spouses who do direct selling or have amazing Etsy shops. If you love numbers a tax preparer is great. If you want to teach, it is a good choice. But gift basket preparer??? Errand runner??? For being as ambitious and educated as you make us sound that is honestly the best you can come up with? THAT is where it gets insulting. And the descriptions... oh man. I have been talking to Ryan about going back to school for culinary arts, more specifically a pastry chef. I have taken cake decorating courses and I love to bake, it is something I have been toying with, but the description from the article made my blood boil.

"Those hours spent watching the Food Network might be the genesis of a money-making plan. If you have great culinary chops, try catering parties or backyard cookouts, selling homemade baked goods or offer your services as a personal chef. A course in cake decoration, candy making, and baking from a community college or gourmet food shop can boost your presentation skills."

I spend hours spent watching the Food Network?? In between keeping the house clean, taking care of the dog, grocery shopping, maintaining the cars, the yard, laundry, cooking dinner (and baked goods for Ryan to take to work), blogging, writing articles for SpouseBUZZ and applying for jobs I spend hours watching TV???? Most days the TV isn't even turned on in our house until after dinner when we sit on the couch and watch Doctor Who on Netflix together. And just because you watch the Food Network does not make you a chef. People go to school for years to do that. Yes, home based businesses can grow from talented individuals, but the way that the article says it anyone can turn a TV show into a career.

And I am so glad I went to college for four years to be a babysitter. Because that is all my bachelor's degree can get me. I worked my butt off in college for four years. Yes, my concentration was theatre, but I have a BA. I took all sorts of liberal arts classes.... math, science, philosophy, religion, Spanish, psychology and anthropology to name a few. I had a full course load of classes (and homework and studying) plus I would be at the theatre five hours a night during the week and all day Saturday. And I worked in the scene shop in the theatre part time so I could make money. Full course load, rehearsals and a job.

And I can babysit.
The article is from The Jacksonville Daily News. Jacksonville, a huge military town, has the nerve to publish something so backwards from 1960? You are a major paper in a military town. You claim spouses are these educated people and we can run errands. Insulting. How do you think people would react if this was an article directed at women in general? Civilians?

Yes, my husband's job makes me move.... but I shouldn't have to be a secretary until I retire. We are worth more than entry level jobs for the rest of our spouses' military careers. We support our spouse and they support us. Our dreams, aspirations and goals may be harder to obtain, but not impossible. I will stand by my husband's side and do what I can to help him and his career... and I know he will do the same for me wherever he can. The military has given us so much, sometimes is really sucks (deployments, field ops, PCSing as soon as you feel 'settled') but that is the life we choose to live. But gosh darn it I can have a career too. I can support my husband, hep keep up a house, a dog (someday kids) and still pursue what makes me happy. We all can.

We are worth more.

Charleston SC

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on the last entry. I really appreciate the support the blog world had to offer. Second, I missed my three year blogging anniversary! A few months ago I had thought I could plan a big celebration but then I stopped blogging and completely missed it. Oops.

But I am slowly getting back on track as are things here. It's a start.

Last week, for the 4th of July, Ryan and I boarded Rylie for the first time and drove down to Isle of Palms and Charleston South Carolina. Ryan has always loved Charleston and dreams of retiring there, and now that I have visited I am slowling coming on board! Back when we were dating Ryan worked with Dave, a man who seems to know everyone, is a huge conservationist, and involved in the government in a multitude of ways. Mr. Dave moved to Isle of Palms a few years ago and graciously opened his home to us for a few days.

We had a wonderful time. It was hot, but we made sure to explore Charleston regardless and then cool off at night by walking to the beach and body surfing until the sun went down! Here are some pictures from our trip.... sadly they were all taken on my iPhone as I forgot my camera .



The bridge coming in to Charleston. Man this thing is huge and can stand hurricanes... I am impressed. And slightly terrified. I hate driving on bridges over water!



Loved the buggy rides! But it was too hot to want to sit behind a horse... for me anways.

I loved this church. I believe it is St Michaels?

These baskets were for sale everywhere. I really wanted to get one, they are gorgeous, but a tad expensive!

This park was wonderful. I wanted to climb the trees so badly. It was just beautiful.

 I have tons of pictures of all the houses, I will gladly live in any one of them if given the chance! The big porches and balconies just set my heart a twitter! Maybe if we win the lottery retiring here would be a great option.

It was so hot my camera lens on my phone got hazy. I tried to clean it and take this a few times but this was the best I could get!

These kids totally had the right idea. I wanted to join them! No one would mind the 24 year old dressed in shorts and a purple shirt jumping around with the kids... right?

Once the heat started to get pretty rough I realized we needed to have a cool down. Lo and Behold, out of the haze, rose this sign....

Perfect!

Some wine for the both of us, a cigar for the hubby and a good game or two of chess in a lovely air conditioned building. Perfect. We may have sat around too long because we still wanted to go to the market and it was closing up by the time we got there, so we went back the next day!

We were a little smarther this time and drove around in the nice air conditioned car. We saw more houses on Rainbow Row and in town...

And then we drove over to the Citadel. My 15 year old brother Stefan just spent a week there at camp and loved it. In three years, when he goes to college, this is where he dreams of going. So naturally, as his big sister, I had to check it out. The place was completely deserted so we got to drive around at our leisure and take a look.

Visitors Parking.... for helicopters only! :P

Much better, less hazy picture of the two of us on the 4th of July!

 For the fourth Mr. Dave told us to pick up some Melvins BBQ. My husband was in heaven. In the part of SC where Ryan grew up Maurice's BBQ is the best thing since sliced bread. It is a yellow, mustard based BBQ that I have to admit is pretty awesome. Well, in Isle of Palms Maurice's brother Melvin opened a store, so Ryan got some yellow BBQ and was one happy camper!

Oh, I am such a creeper... did I mention Mr. Dave has Degas ballerina sketches???? I sigh with longing everytime I pass them. They are just gorgeous.

 After BBQ and swimming we cleaned up and walked back to the beach to watch the fireworks. From our vantage point we got to see three different towns shoot off their fireworks. Perfect. And I had my new eShakti dress for the occassion!

The finale is one of the few fireworks pictures I got. Sadly the iPhone does not capture fireworks too well. At least not in anyway that I know how to do it!

We were on the road bright and early the next morning to go pick up the pup (who was exhausted from boarding) and clean the house before my mother in law, sister in law, and grandmother in law arrived for the weekend. We had a terrific visit together and I think that week was something that did us all good.

Phew.

Rough

Hey all.

Our family is having a little bit of a rough time at the moment, so I will not be blogging for a little while. We also are going out of town today and having family in town after we get back. But overall we need some time to focus on us. If you could keep us in your thoughts and prayers I'd really appreciate it.

See you all when we return.

Thank you.