More Troops

Obama made his announcement.... 35,000 more troops to Afghanistan. Meaning over 100,000 troops will be there. One Marine unit will be in before Christmas. BEFORE CHRISTMAS. There are Marines and Marine families out there who were planning a holiday together who now will be apart. Large numbers will deploy early next year as well.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091201/ap_on_go_pr_wh/us_us_afghanistan

I am kind of scared Ryan will be in one of them. He only just got back from Iraq. He was only there about four months, not the full seven. I know he has to be home for a little while at least... but we're apart until at least January anyway and, well I have been dreading this announcement from Obama for weeks now and I am still kind of nauseous about it. Yes it could be worse. Rumors of troops ranged from 30,000-85,000 so this lower end of the spectrum is definitely a good thing.

Ugh.

Thanksgiving and the Future

I hope you all had a fantastic holiday!


So my mom found out Ryan and his friend Garrett weren't going home for Thanksgiving because South Carolina and Nebraska are kind of far... so that is how my boyfriend and one of his best friends ended up in New Jersey with my family for Thanksgiving with me in Disney!!! I was kind of jealous.


Garrett, Ryan, Jill and Derek (cousins), and my brother Stefan in front at my Babci and Poppy's for Thanksgiving

But apparently Ryan asked my parents' permission to marry me while he was there. How do I know that? Because he was nervous about it and told me! Haha. He also let me know that he had been looking at rings since he was in Iraq. He found a diamond and the perfect setting and looked every day for six weeks when he got back.... and he had to tell me THAT because it is so perfect.

Oh my god.

EEE!

Of course no one will tell me how the talk went. My mom pretends to know nothing and I can't ask my dad as I am not supposed to know and Ryan suddenly doesn't want to share! But apparently it "went well". Definitely a good thing. Now that I know that though I want to know when it will happen! And how! And where! I want it to happen so soon but I don't want to know the details and watch it ends up being a long ways away and he just took advantage of the fact that he could talk to my parents without me there. I don't know. Ack.

So now on to our favorite F-Word... the Future.

Ryan and I planned to move in together in DC when I left Disney. Well, I haven't saved as much money as I hoped and I am not having any luck finding jobs so it may not happen. Ryan "splitting" the rent went from 50-50ish to me paying most of it and him helping with other bills. With the money how it is right now I can't do that. So the only solution seems to be me moving home (ugh) again to NJ and working multiple jobs there to save money. It is just so frustrating. I cry over it constantly just because that's how my body reacts to stress. Which sucks.

I just love working at Disney. And if we're going to be apart, again, until February/May/August I wish I could just stay here and work. But I can't. Beneifts and more money and all. Ugh. I don't want to move home. And work in crappy jobs I hate. As I can't find anything, I am terrified I am just going to go back to Kohls and I don't think I can handle it.

I just don't know.

Can I fast forward please?

Tests

So this morning was pretty terrifying for me. I was up at 5am and Don, Patrick, and I were in the car by 5:40am. We drove for half an hour or so to this surgical center where I was the first patient of the day for an endoscopy. For those of you who don't know what that is it is a test where they knock you out and essentially shove a camera down your throat to your stomach, look around, and do a biopsy. I have never been knocked out before, I mean I still have my wisdom teeth! It was so nervewracking for me. And since I couldn't drive myself the guys insisted on helping me out.

I go in to the back and I get a saline IV in my hand while they ask me lots of questions. No I haven't taken advil or aspirin in a week, no I am not pregnant, no I didn't eat or drink after midnight... so I got my blood pressure taken about 10 times, my temperature, and a pregnancy test for good measure. I wasn't lying. I hate when you're female and anytime you're slightly sick they think you are pregnant. Anyway...

I got taken into the back where I had about six sensors attached to me, the blood pressure cuff, the IV, and oxygen in my nose. All the while lying on my side... not too comfy when you're all wired up! The nurses were all talking to me, I know trying to distract me since my heart was racing, and they were commenting on Ryan's boot camp graduation ring that I wear on my necklace (it wouldn't even fit on my thumb). They said it took them back to see a girl with her boyfriend's ring like that. But the next thing I know they are telling me to bite on something to keep my mouth open for the procedure....

And then I woke up. I didn't even know they started let alone finished. The nurse had me get up and let Don and Patrick back to keep me company. It wasn't bad, I was a little tired but fully alert the instant I woke up, which was something I was worried about. The doctor came and told me my stomach was red, so they are testing for some sort of bacteria infection (yikes) but no tumors or cancer (always a plus). He still wants me to have my hydrascan or whatever and a stomach x-ray all for gallbladder purposes so I still don't have many answers.

I came home and slept from 9am-1pm and now I am just a little groggy still. I miss Ryan a lot, I wish he could have been here today. I know if it was possible he would have been in a heartbeat, but I really miss my peanut butter (I'm the jelly obviously, we're total opposites but work to make the best sandwich).

He also told me today he was talking to a career counselor and is petitioning to take his fifth year off his contract. I wonder what that means? I thought he was re-enlisting after the five but now, well, I wonder what is going on? Waiting to hear back!

Thanks for reading.

Meltdown

I sort of lost it last night.

I have been training for a new venue at work, my third, called Where's the Fire?, which is basically like a game show of sorts about fire safety. It is pretty fun, but training is draining. It means very early mornings, 8:15am Saturday, 7:30am yesterday and today, that go until 16:00 or 17:00. It is a long day. And I am not a morning person. So I have been soooo drained.

Ryan's mom and aunts were in DC visiting him for the first time since he got back. So between that and my interesting hours we haven't gotten to talk too much the past few days. I've been asleep early so I can get up early, and he has been up late. Plus he is going back and forth to Fredericksburg because his room mate and best friend Josh had a hole in his lung that leaked into his chest cavity and landed him in the hospital. Eek. Josh is ok, but Ryan is driving a few hours when he can to see him. So it has been a lot of texting lately.

But last night when he called me, even though I had been asleep for an hour, I picked up. I was tired, and stressed (my face is awful, so many breakouts! ugh!), so I was trying to keep things light. But he knew me too well to let that slide. I told him the early mornings were wearing me down and I hated the long days that started so early. Being at work by 7:30am means clocking in by 7:15am which means being on property by 7am. That means I pick up Karli at 6:45am and leave my apartment by 6:30am and I am up before 6am. See the stress?? But he replied, "At least you get to earn a lot of money!"

That was the key phrase that made me lose it.

I said, "I am so SICK of thinking about and talking about fucking money!" and then I burst into tears. Yea, I sort of shocked the hell out of him, he didn't see that coming. Neither did I. I am broke. Why?

Plane tickets to DC, one doctor emergency clinic visit, perscriptions from said visit, gas, perscriptions I take, a flat tire that came out of nowhere, groceries, rent, going to another doctor this Wednesday to finally be checked out, my GPS breaking and dying that day (I need it, it is pretty sad), and knowing my brother's 13th birthday and Christmas are approaching.... and I have no money. I am supposed to be saving to move in with Ryan so we can live together. I am living paycheck to paycheck. I had to turn to my mom for help which makes me feel so ashamed at 22. Money is the reason he may not come see me in Disney, which is so important to me (I need him to see me and my life and friends here or he'll never get what this place means to me).

So I cried. Or sobbed. I couldn't breathe. It was awful. He calmed me down and talked to me and got me to stop and get myself calm and sleep again. I felt so terrible for unleashing on him like that. I still feel hollow today from letting it all out.

Ugh.

I hate money.

234th Birthday and Veteran's Day

Yesterday the Marine Corps celebrated their 234th birthday. So a belated Happy Birthday to two of the greatest men I know. My grandfater, a Sgt Major (at age 19!) from WWII who served in the Philippines. He is the youngest Sgt Major in the Corps history and served proudly for many years. My Poppy has now been married to my Babci for 62 years and has six kids and fifteen grandkids. He still dons his dress blues, attends parades, schools, does Toys for Tots, and is an active member of his local VFW. My original and truest hero and the best grandfather ever. This was taken at the Marine Corps Birthday Ball in 2007 when we went together. He took my cousin Jill and I to the local ball in NJ with him as his dates. I came home from college especially for that weekend and I was so proud of my grandfather. As the oldest Marine present, 85 at the time, he was a part of the cake cutting ceremony. He is now 87 and I believe he is still the oldest Marine at the ball he attends!

My other hero of course is MY Marine. A LCpL who is still serving and just returned from his first deployment in Iraq. Nearly 60 years apart in their service these two men are still my heroes and I cannot thank God enough for sending them to me. They have protected and served our country and have sacraficed more than I can ever imagine. Ryan leaving was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I know it was no picnic for him either, but I never imagined such pain, worry, and terror as when I did when I knew where he was going. If he ended up in Afghanistan (which is a strong possibility for next time....) I knew it would be so much worse. But for now I am grateful we made it through the first one and we're still going strong. Ryan hasn't had his chance to start a huge family or live the non active duty lifestyle yet, but I know someday he will. Today we were texting while I was at work and I thanked Ryan, and teased him a bit about being in bed waaaaay past noon. But he said it was a day he could get away with it so I agreed. He then said, "They should have a girlfriend/fiancee/wives of Veteran's Day." I had to laugh a little at that and asked him why? He did everything that needed the honoring, and he replied "I couldn'tt be what I am if it wasn't for you in my life. So I am declaring tomorrow wife/fiance/girlfriend of a veteran's day! You deserve it too. We couldn't do it without you." It got me teary, not going to lie. I wish I could have the day off, free food, and of course spend it with my veteran, but the thought is nice!!!

It was a pure coincidence that the love of my life would be a Marine. I didn't go out searching for one just because of my Poppy. It was a total coincidence but one of the best of my life. I love my Marines, and I wish them a Happy Belated Birthday and say thank you for this Veteran's Day.

I love you both!

Disney Face Character Auditions

Ok, I promised so here it goes.


So I picked up my friend Jenny at 8am or so and by 8:30am we were in line. And man was that line long!!! It said we could arrive by 8am and had to be there before 9am to be allowed in. So we got there at the halfway point and we were waaaaay in the back of the line.... see?



That was a whole lot of line. I waited for nearly two hours in that outside line. When I got inside the building finally it was pretty quick. Outside it was tons of all sorts of different people. Some I could see actually being face characters, some I had no idea who the heck they could be! A lot of people were smoking in line too, I was a smoker at that point and I purposely did not light up before going into that audition. That doesn't strike me as a smart idea at all.

When I finally go in they made me take off my shoes and measured me in a small dance studio room thing. They said I was 5'6''.... I am totally 5'7''. But whatever. I signed my name on a piece of paper and got my number, 423. Holy hell. And there were still a lot of people behind me.

Then we got into another small line. Then in groups of 30 we went into another studio and stood in three lines. They played random music, like the Black Eyed Peas? Not sure what that had to do with anything, but yea. So each of the three lines was inspected. A woman walked down the row with a packet/paper, looked at our faces and had us smile at her, wrote stuff down, went to the next person. It was awkward to have someone look at your face, barely glance at the person next at you, nod at some... very nerve wracking. If you pass the face test the next round I believe is trying on the wig and make up for whatever character they think you'd work for. If you pass that then you get to try on the DRESS for said character. If you fit in that then the next round is a movement/dance routine so they see if you're better for meet and greets or parades or shows or whatever.

Out of the 30 people in my room 3 went on to round 2.

I was not one of them.

Yea, as much as you try not to mae it personal it still hurts knowing I failed in the first round because of my face. It can't not hurt a little. I cannot audition for anything again for six months. I shot myself in the foot, I should have totally waited for an audition that had fur characters and parade performers too... just face characters AND an open call like that was stupid of me to do. I should have waited for just a College Program multi-audition.

I was talking to someone in my entertainment class today and she works as a character now. She said from that last audition they had over 800 people come (apparently there were two lines, mine of 500+ and another line of all current character performers trying to bridge the gap to face from fur that was about 300 people) and they took 19. 19 people.

Fail...

But now you know.

Maybe come April Ryan and I may be moving to California? If he gets stationed there? I can try again in April... and Disney Land is in California.

Oh forget it.

Reunited!!

Ok sorry this took me so long to get to! But this is how my weekend with the love of my life went!

So I woke up at about 4:30am and was in the car by 5am with Don, Patrick, and Karli who all came to see me off. I was on the plane by 7:20am and in DC by 9:30am!!! As soon as I stepped outside of Regan Airport I was cold!!!!! It was FREEZING! My poor Florida body was in shock! I got on the metro platform and I knew I was in for it when it came to how cold it was. I took the metro to Union Station and I met Cat, which was awesome. It was sooo good to see her again too. We had breakfast together and then we went to the Smithsonian and the Mall (and our tree!) for awhile and just caught up before Ryan could get up to DC.

Ryan texted me that he was on his way and we agreed to meet at the Eastern Market Metro Stop... doesn't sound too exciting, but that was where we had our first kiss over a year and a half ago! So our first kiss after the deployment was in the same spot. And it was a long one. I literally jumped at him and just hugged him for so long, it was wonderful.

We got on the metro and went back to Union Station so I could get my suitcase from the baggage storage area and then we went out to Branch Ave (at the very end of the Green Line) where we stayed.

I was so nervous about seeing Ryan, and being with him again. It had been a long time since we had seen one another... hell we didn't even talk on the phone that often while he was gone. He was in Iraq, he had a lot go on... I moved to Florida, we had grown and changed, and I was terrified that we might not click like we used to or something would be different. But we were wonderful. I was still a little nervous when we were together but that all fell away.

The first night we hung out around the hotel... and the only place nearby to eat (we were carless remember) was Red Lobster, so we walked there and had dinner. The next day we slept in and it took us awhile to get going because Ryan wasn't feeling the best. I walked to the gas station and got him medicine (had to force him to take it!) and then we went out into DC. We hung out in Georgetown since it was Halloween, had this wonderful dinner at Clydes where we talked about a LOT of things (ie the future, plans, ideas, hopes, what's going to happen...) and then we went and saw Couple's Retreat. I already saw it but it was funny and worth seeing again. Ryan got pretty sick so we just went back after that. He had a fever that night and wasn't doing well, but his fever broke in the night while I was taking care of him.

The next day I got sick.

So we were both sick!

You take someone from the hot dry heat of Iraq and someone from the hot humidity of Florida and put them in the cold dampness of DC in November, of course they'll both get sick!!!

So we were both drugged and struggling for a few days. Sunday we went back to my campus and went to church at the Basilica and then I saw some of my friends on campus. After that we went to Chinatown and got Ryan a cellphone charger but I was pretty sick at that point so we went back. It was my turn to have the awful fever so we just watched tv and I was miserable in a ball under the covers. (But we watched UP when he was sick and The Ugly Truth when I was, so we got some movies in! And I think Jumanji was in there somewhere too....)

Monday I was a little better. We went down to the Mall and saw some of the monuments and met my friend Kristin briefly before having a nice dinner at Jaleo in Chinatown. We were walking around after that and all these guys were scalpling tickets outside the Verizon Center. We were tired of being asked so we finally caved and asked what the tickets were for, turns out Bruce Springsteen and the E St Band were there! Guess who ended up at the concert?

That would be us!!!

It was fun, and I know Ryan wasn't a huge fan so it meant a lot to me for us to go. After we went back to the hotel and then it was suddenly our last day. We took a long metro ride to Virigina and went to IHOP for breakfast, I didn't eat much since I was still sick, but I was getting there. Then we sat on the National Mall and talked for hours until it was time to go to the airport. We had dinner at Fridays in the airport and then I had to say goodbye again. Leaving him at security physically hurt, I cried the entire way through. Then I was suddenly on the plane and back in Florida.


I also finally quit smoking. Being sick prompted it and then I just didn't want to anymore. It has officially been six days. And I am still sort of sick. I finally have a voice again but it comes and goes. Not good when you talk for a living.

Since our visit we text constantly and we talk on the phone every night, usually for an hour or more. Last night was two and a half hours.

We're planning on moving in together after I finish here in Disney. Ryan thinks he will end up in DC until at least August (*fingers crossed*) so we'll get an apartment together. I just have to ask my Dad first... eek. My mom is cool with it though.

Talk of an engagement and rings has also come up.

Multiple times.

Whew. Ok, all written! Thanks for keeping up with me and this deployment saga. I cannot believe we made it through our first deployment. Yes it was shorter than expected but we still did it and so far we're still going strong, if not stronger than before. I love him so much, he is worth every bit of this.

Semper Fi readers, Semper Fi.