I made it!

Ok so I lied about the inside scoop next blog, save that for next week, I am too tired today!

I need to get to bed, I just saw This Is It, the Michael Jackson movie, and I need to finish packing and get to sleep. I am leaving at 5am tomorrow to go to the airport, flight at 7am, get to DC at 9:30am, have lunch/breakfast with Cat, then seeing RYAN! I made it!!!! I cannot believe it.

So I'll see you all next week. I will be in DC until Tuesday night!

<3

A Three Hour Tou-...Phone Call!

Ryan and I just talked on the phone for nearly three hours. Lord I have missed him!!!!!! One more day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow's Blog: Disney Entertainment Face Character Auditions, the inside scoop!

Magical Moments

So I am just sitting in my apartment waiting for inspection... I think I have mentioned inspections before. Disney gives us Field Days! Usually its every four to six weeks... ours was definitely four. You can fail, which charges each room mate money: $25 the first time, $50 the second, and $100 the third; pass, or high pass where you get a box of ferrero roche chocolates (we got that last time. I hear them coming, they are on my floor at this point, I think they are actually across the hall so I may not have long!

Well yesterday I went to Typhoon Lagoon with Karli and we had a blast. They are closing it November 1 for refurbishment until January which means we can't go again while we are here basically. Since Karli had never been we had to go.

In the main merchandise store this employee Cheryl was wonderful. She told us her husband does security at EPCOT and that he had been in Vietnam... I was wearing my Is It February Yet? shirt but I crossed out February and wrote October 30th, so she asked me about it and I told her that would be when I would see Ryan again. Then I saw this Patriotic towel, it was an American Flag with a sillouette of Mickey, Goofy, and Donald on it. Cheryl convinced me to get it, my old towel is kind of gross, and I got my Disney Holiday Employee discount! 40%! So I paid $12.50 for an $18.95 towel. It was kind of awesome. I told guest relations she was wonderful so I hopes she gets some recognition!! She told me a woman, her sister and daughter were in a few weeks ago and the father was in Iraq. They were looking at the towel and couldn't afford it so she got it for them. Thats a magical moment if I have ever heard one.

After that we went home and changed then Karli, Kayla and I went to Fantasmic, the show at Hollywood Studios. It was PACKED. I will have to eventually post a picture of the crowd, it had to be over a 1000 people. And we all did the wave for nearly five minutes. I have never seen a wave last that long before. But the show itself was pretty cool, I want to do it!!!! It looks like so much fun. After we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner (or brinner, breakfast for dinner) since Karli never went to one before and Kayla had been once or twice. I love Cracker Barrel. We were totally the people who were in the store at closing reminicing over our favorite childhood candies (dots, pop rocks, skye bars, and war heads to ring a bell) and it was awesome.

Class later, then pumpkin carving with Karli, Don, and Patrick.

Oh. We passed inspection. Not a white glove award though since our toilet "failed". It was clean. We're calling BS!!!

3 days!!! I need Friday now!!!!!

He's Home!!!

Ryan is officially in Quantico!

First Deployment = OVER!

I cannot believe it.

I got my first phone call since September 28th this morning. He had to borrow his Sgt's phone since he didn't get his yet, but it was so so so good to hear his voice!!!! I got all teary. Now I somehow need to get to Friday so I can SEE HIM!

Is it Friday yet?!?!

I'll write more later, just had to share!

Allie = Wimp

So a big group of people from work really wanted to go to Universal Studios tonight for Haunted Horror Nights. I am a wimp. Totally. I will admit it fully without a problem. I said no, declined, said no, fought it, and then found myself in a car on my way there somehow. Ugh. It was a huge group of people and I got sort of in on the excitement but as we got closer I realized what the hell I was getting myself into. It is all based on scary movies this year, 'Ripped from the Silver Screen'. So Chucky, Saw, Dracula, Wolfman... etc. Did I mention I hate scary movies?

So we walk through Universal City Walk toward the entrance to the park, and I freeze. I couldn't do it. I saw people walking outside in like a bizarre bellboy/girl (like old school movie ushers) dead people make up and outfits. Plus a giant movie screen with scary movie stuff playing... and I can't do it. I found myself shaking and nearly hyperventilating. Don and Christine weren't thrilled about going either so the three of us backed out last second and just hung out at City Walk for an hour or so and then came home. So glad about that decision. We found a map and saw to get to any of the FOUR (yea, four) rides that were open you had to at least go to one scare zone. It was mainly about haunted houses, not my thing.

I have to say, after being in the cleanliness and magicalness of Disney, Universal seems so skanky in comparison! And with the clubs in the area and the drunk people going around and the look of everything... I am biased, but I like Disney much better.

The last time I went to a Haunted House was in high school. We did a haunted hay ride which freaked me out, then we had to go through a corn maze to get to the haunted house. I didn't know the corn maze was haunted. So when things and things with chainsaws started chasing me I started running, even through the walls and out to the outside. There I had an asthma attack and had to be put on oxygen. THAT was fun. But I didn't have to go in the Haunted House!

We're going back to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party tomorrow. MUCH more my speed!


ONE WEEK!

Hey Jealousy?

So I know one of the biggest issues Ryan and I have in our relationship is the issue of jealousy. His ex was not the nicest person and really hurt his ability to fully trust in others. She basically left him for one of his best friends. Now the problem is, I always have been one to have a big mixed group of friends. I usually have a big mix of guys and girls that I hang out with and that has always been a sore spot for Ryan in our relationship.


Graduation Party

Whether it was me playing video games at my friend Brian's house, hanging out with Nate, Jeff, and Dave from my theatre school when I am home in NJ, or hanging out with Don and Patrick in Disney... we have had pretty decetly sized fights about all of them. I would never do anything to hurt Ryan, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have friends who are guys because, well let's face it, they are usually awesome to hang with, are honest (not catty at any rate), know sports, and are easy to talk to. Girls are much more complicated! I bond really well with one or two girls and get super close, but in big groups I do have my guy friends.


Team Bro-Womance at Disney Cast Quest

Now when I hang out with Don and Patrick here for example, usually it is in a group. 9 times out of 10 it is in a big group. Patrick and Don have a huge "bro-mance", they remind me of Ryan and his room mate Josh in a lot of ways, and Karli and I have the designated "wo-mance" (not as catchy but it works!). Usually the four of us hang out together. Karli's boyfriend Bryce is giving her the same flak Ryan is giving me which makes me feel a bit better, but not much. Patrick is dating Jenny, Don is on-off with Sara... and Karli and I are taken! What is wrong with the four of us being friends?? We work the same venues at work, we have fun together, and it breaks up the monotiny of the day in Innoventions.


The Love of my Life

So I haven't had a phone call from Ryan in nearly a month, and before today our longest talk in a week was maybe 10 minutes. Today he spent an hour of precious internet time (Al Asad sucks for that) arguing with me about being friends with guys! This isn't third grade, boys and girls don't have to be separate from coodies contamination and just because you are male and female does not mean sex has to be involved for any sort of connection to be possible.

These guys are my friends. Nothing more.

1. I have Ryan, I love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. That trumps anything anyone else could throw at me.
2. Not attracted to them. I love them dearly, but these guys become like my brothers. I have three already, I don't mind having more pseudo-ones in the mix.
3. If anyone, and I mean anyone, was disrespectful to me or my relationship I'd kick them in the balls so hard they'd come out of their noses.

The guys hear me talk about Ryan all the time. They want to see him when he comes down here. It is no secret. I have always been upfront and honest with Ryan in our relationship, and I think that is what makes all the difference.

He eventually backed off and apologized. I did too. I know it bothers him, but I don't seek out guys to befriend on purpose or anything. They are just my friends. Plain and simple. And usually when he DOES meet them he gets along great with them. Example given being my graduation party when Ryan went off with Jeff, Nate, and Dave on a cigarette run to a store 2 minutes away and we're gone for nearly 45 minutes. They got along great.

Sorry for the venting today, I was just frustrated that the hour and a half we had to talk this morning had almost an hour wasted on a pointless fight we've had many times before. Of course it ends up ok in the end, but I hate fighting with Ryan over anything and it is frustrating with him so far away. He will be back soon and I know we will be just fine. In 10 days I will tackle him, I swear I will!

I know he wants to be here with me and experiencing Disney with me like my friends here get to... and he will once he goes on leave. I told him he has to trust me. He said he did, it was the other guys he didn't trust. I said it doesn't really work that way, you have to trust my ability to choose my friends and the people I associate with, if they weren't good people, they wouldn't be in my life. Wow, this came out to be a much longer entry than I intended. Props if you read it!

It is all about the trust baby.

Typical

Homecoming is pushed back from Saturday to Monday. I hope this doesn't effect the 96!!!!!! But I am glad I ended up booking to come up a week later. I'd be so upset right now if two of the four days I took off were spent without him!

Small blessings indeed...

The Good and the Bad

First... The Bad
I won't be at homecoming for Ryan.
I haven't had a phone call from him since September 30th.

BUT the Good
I will be there for Ryan's 96! Hopefully the 96 information was right since my flight is now booked! And work oks everything...
I did get to talk to him this morning online for a little bit. It was slow and not for long, but it was so incredibly worth it.

These next few weeks are going to be so agonizingly slow! I am really upset I cannot be there for him getting off the bus. Megan and Nadia said they'd take pictures for me, but it isn't the same. I couldn't get the short notice to work and the flight would be $250 vs the $130 I paid for next week.

SOON!

He will be home in SO SOON. It is basically 99.99% official. I cannot wait. I am just waiting to hear from him to confirm that he wants me in Quantico on the day and I will be there. It has been three days now since we spoke so I am dying to hear from him for the all clear go ahead. Something tells me this week will be impossibly long but I will get through it. Cross your fingers Disney gets me off work for a few days. Especially with that unfortunate sick day under my belt...

Note to self: Find a doctor and get an appointment for Monday. Gall bladder you will NOT win!

Wish me luck readers. This deployment is winding down!

Internal Organs: 1, Allie: 0

So last night I had my first major gall bladder attack. It hurt like hell, in the front right of my ribs and across my back. I couldn't lie down, I couldn't stand, I couldn't sit, nothing was comfortable. So Amanda, my room mate, took me to an Urgent Care Clinic that was open til midnight. Luckily it was close by. When we got there the woman said there was a 2-3 hour wait. So we stuck it out.

An hour later my vitals were done. An hour after that I was checked out. Diagnosis? Gall bladder. But there wasn't the right equipment there to take blood or do an ultrasound. So they gave me some anti-nausea medicine and percocet. I was told I could not go to work the next day and given a form and shoved out the door.

Damage? Three hours and $100. Ugh.

I spent the day mostly in a drug filled haze, sleeping on and off, angry I am not at work. I need these days off to go see Ryan. It sucks. We have a basically official date for the homecoming from our FRO person but Ryan is still moving so I haven't heard from him in 2 days. Probably won't for another two or three. Which sucks since I cannot book anything until I talk to him.

Oh, did I mention in all this chaos we had a new room mate move in yesterday? Her name is Chole and she is from South Korea. I totally make awesome first impressions...

Back to the sleepyness....

I know I am supposed to ignore the news...

But this one caught my eye...it is about possibly sending more troops to Afghanistan in the next year. Anywhere between 10,000 and 80,000. 80frickenthousand. That is insane.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091014/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/bc_us_us_afghanistan

Especially the last paragraph:

"An Army brigade generally has between 3,500 and 5,000 soldiers, while a Marine expeditionary brigade could be built up to about 17,000 troops. However, sending a high number of forces would put more stress on troops who are already stretched thin from fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq, and likely would reduce the time they would get at home between deployments."

Oh God I hope not.


I talked to Ryan for nearly three hours this morning. We did fight for part of it unfortunately. He is upset Disney will only give me four, maybe five days off for me to come see him. I thought it was a good thing they were willing to give me that many in a row at ALL and he thinks it is not enough. So a fight naturally ensued. But we worked it out.

And we talked about possibly getting an apartment together when he gets back (: Try living together and all. Once I am done with Disney that is. I have an audition on October 29th which will decide if I stay here longer, if not back to DC possibly? Or California? Not sure where Ryan will be stationed, but the chances of me going with him are pretty darn high. I cannot wait to fall asleep next to him each night and wake up next to him each morning. Just to see him anytime day or night, it will be so so amazing....

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Deployments!

I saw that bumper sticker on a fellow Marine girl's site and I had to use it. Because it is so true. I don't know if I have really talked about how much Ryan being deployed is really awful. Yes I have complained a little and said they suck, but I never took the time to put an emotional thought or feeling behind it, suddenly I kind of feel the need to try.

To sum it up, they suck. Easy assumption and oh so true. Having the person you love the most be so far away is heartbreaking. For about fourteen months I was so spoiled. I could call him whenever I wanted, yes if he was working I would miss him, but I could leave a voicemail. Or even text him. We had a nightly phone call before we went to sleep at night. Nearly every weekend and holiday we spent together. Sometimes even during the week if I didn't have class or he got off work early we'd have that time together. I could fall asleep in his arms, not have to rely on my stuffed dog in one of his old tshirts to have the smell slowly fading away from it. I hate that I cannot talk to him unless he can contact me, and if I am working or out with friends I feel so awful to miss him. I see couples around Disney all the time, holding hands or kissing or just waiting in line together and I get so jealous I swear my eyes turn green. I constantly worry about him and his safety. Any song I hear I can think of him, any movie or tv show we ever watched together makes my heart hurt, There are so many things I just want to tell him as they happen or just hear his opinion on. Days sometimes seem endlessly long because I cannot stop thinking about him or missing him.

My mom told me for years the right guy would come along for me. I went on a few dates, had a bad botched relationship in high school that was barely a blip on the radar, and had a few meaningless hookups... but never met the right guy. I began to honestly think he may not be out there for me, at least night at this point in my life. So I stopped looking. I usually hate it when my Mom is right, but this time was worth it. The instant I stopped caring so much and fretting about being single Ryan walked into my life. Since then he went from being that cute guy at the drama party I had never seen before to the guy I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. It is amazing the difference a year can make. I never imagined I would meet someone like Ryan and fall in love so deeply, but I did. And that made him going on this deployment all the more difficult.

I think I have been overly stressing lately for a lot of things. I have tried to thinking beyond Disney. The only reason I will probably stay longer is if I get offered a role in entertainment, but those auditions apparently are not until November. So I can't really plan. With Ryan coming home early I am trying to figure out the future, but it is so overwhelming. Health insurance, benefits, car insurance, rent, jobs, money... I wanted to crawl under my bed and cry. I have been trying to save money here but with my pay not so great it has been hard. I wanted to have a nest egg after this, but it isn't looking likely.

Ryan said I am enough, my love and me is all he needs. But I don't think I can go into a future with him with nothing. It doesn't seem fair. He should not have to support me as well as himself. And that is stressing me out. I cannot look for a new job in DC, since I don't even know where I will be yet. What if Ryan gets stationed in California and I move with him and then he gets deployed again and I am left all alone there?

No wonder I have a headache. Thanks for reading the rambling if anyone did. It's appreciated!

Going to the gym...

I have not gone to the gym religiously.... ever. I was never one of those girls to love working out, go running, or anything like that. I'd prefer a nice bike ride or a hike. I'd rather spend the day building a big set in a theatre lifting platforms and moving lights. I never found running in place to be a worthwhile activity. And whoever the hell thought lifting big heavy things in sets and repetition would be fun is just insane. Long story short, I hate working out.

So why the hell am I doing it around four days a week?

Because earlier this summer I mused out loud, "Hm, maybe when I go to Disney I will start going to the gym." And Ryan overheard it. So in Iraq he started working out. And eating healthy. He is doing it in the desert, I should be able to do it here, right? Long story short my lazy ass is in the gym now.

We have bickered about it, talked about it, and now I am going. Like I said, I hate working out. But I love Ryan, so I am doing it.

Luckily my apartment is the closest possible one to the gym or it would never happen.

I am up to 15 minutes a day on the elliptical (not a lot I know, but like I said, moving in place? Not my idea of fun) and I do some free weights and machines with exercises my suddenly all healthy lean, mean, fighting machine boyfriend recommended. I figured I could fudge my way around for a few months and gradually work up to it, but now with Ryan coming home so soon (YAY) I really need to stick with it. And eat healthy.

We'll ignore the chicken fingers and fries I had for dinner. It will be our little secret, ok?

AMAZING

Yes! Some of you lovely ladies guessed it........... THEY'RE COMING HOME EARLY!!! I am so flippin' excited I do not know what to do with myself!

He called me yesterday and I was in tears on the phone since I was so happy! Since the dates are not perfectly exact, just a small range, I can't request off of work yet. So I am going to go talk to my managers today to give them a heads up and also email the Professor of my upcoming entertainment class and say there is a probably conflict with one of the dates and if it is ok to miss it. It is a pretty darn good excuse in my book!

I am so happy. I just cannot believe he is coming home!

<3