The past two days have been all over the place. On Monday my friend, who I won't name, called me for help. She has had small seizures since she was fifteen but usually she has what they call petite mal seizures, where she basically just zones out for a second. But yesterday she had her first grand mal seizure while on the phoen with her Dad, a neurosurgeon. So instead of going to work I left lunch with Nadia, and went to keep an eye on my friend. Her Dad told me what to do and not to go to the hospital unless it was longer than five minutes. We had dinner and watched movies before she got pretty tired and went to lie down. I also saw a beautiful rainbow earlier when we were driving back to my place, it was a wicked thunderstom with the sun out which was cool but there was this massive rainbow arcing across the sky... anyway.
That night turned out to be incredibly difficult. After I emailed Ryan my nightly email I watched TV a bit and settled down to go to sleep. Around 1am, just as I was dozing, I saw my friend have a grand mal seizure. It was about ten seconds long and she seemed ok, but then at 1:20am she had another one, this one a minute long. I started writing down how long they were and how long they lasted which proved to be useful later. She was on a mattress on my floor so I hopped out of bed and did what her Dad told me to... I kept her head to the side and stopped her from hitting anything the best I could. She came to and was ok and we went to sleep again around 2am. At 3:30am I woke up to hear her starting again. Her seizures always start basically in her left arm, so it would be jerking around and wake me up. This one was bigger and longer, lasting close to five minutes. When she came to again we called her Dad and he said that if she had another one, no matter how long, she had to go to the hospital. Which she wasn't too thrilled with but I told her if she had one more she was going. Sure enough around 4:00am she starts again, punching the mattress and slamming her head around... this one was huge. I literally had to fight to keep her from flipping off the mattress. It lasted almost seven minutes, her breathing was worse in this one, almost high pitched, and it seemed like an eternity before she stopped. So into the car we went.
Her neurologist is in Georgetown, the GW hospital near the Foggy Bottom metro stop, so we drove there at 4:30am. We told her Dad and her friend Jen what was going on as it was happening. We got to the hospital and somehow found our way to the ER and she was taken back straight away. As we're explaining what happened they took blood and put her on a heart monitor the doctor is just asking questions.... then her left arm starts jerking. The Doctor was like, "Are you cold?" And I jumped up and told them she was about to start another seizure. This was about 5:45 am. They held her arms and I held her head and just talked to her, trying to bring her back and calm her down. This one was awful, she clenched her jaw down and turned so red she was almost purple and was nearly foaming at the mouth. I don't know if you've ever seen anyone have a grand mal seizure, last night was my first time, and it is absoutely terrifying. I felt so helpless the entire time. I had about two hours of sleep and it was just rough. The gave her some shot that helped prevent another one from coming and it kind of made her a little loopy for awhile as we sat in the ER for ages. I was on adrenaline and couldn't sleep so I just held her hand while they ran tests.
Around 9am they released her from the ER, but her Dad wanted us to go up to the neurology department before we went home. So up we went. The ran a whole bunch of tests again and my friend told me to leave. She told me to go home and get sleep, they might admit her to the hospital, and she'd call me if she needed me. I felt awful leaving her there, but I had to meet Cat at noon and go into work so sleep was definitely needed. I ended up crashing on Cat's couch for two hours and then we went to the Washington Monument for 1:30pm. Of course we get there are realize our tickets are for 3:30pm, but luckily some lady nearby had two extra she just gave us and we gave ours to a park ranger to give to someone to use at 3:30pm. It was cool up there, I could see my apartment from one side!
In the mean time my friend in the hospital taxied home and her friend Jen came in from Minnesota to be with her and watch her. I wasn't thrilled that the hospital released her. The monitoring room they wanted to send her to for one to three days was booked and she had an MRI scheduled already for Thursday so there was no reason to keep her apparently. Anyway, then we went back and I went and hung lights for about four hours. I got 80% of the job, Rich, Mo, and Cat are going to finish the rest. The next two days I will be packing and cleaning, especially since I couldn't do that at all last night since I was watching my friend.
When I got home Jen texted me saying that she had been there about five minutes when my friend had another grand mal seizure. This one lasted about twenty minutes with a lull in the middle. She was a bit freaked so I calmed her down and they called her Dad who called the hospital. About an hour or two later Jen texted me again saying there was another one, this one even worse than the one previously, and they were going to the hospital to have her admitted. I am kind of terrified. She never had a grand mal seizure before and she had about eight now in the past twenty four hours. She can't drive until they settle this which is hard gfor the fact that she and Jen were supposed to go on a cross country road trip Saturday.
So that was my day yesterday. I caulked my walls, cleaned the stove, started the oven and floors... today I am going to the Salvation Army and packing like crazy, then meeting friends at Colonel Brooks for one last night out.
I wish Ryan was here. This is so hard, after I left her at the hospital I nearly broke down driving, all the exhaustion and fear and terror just caught up with me and I just started crying as I drove. On top of that and work and packing and cleaning I just miss him so incredibly much.
Then of course we had our first fight online today since he's been in Iraq. We managed to talk for three hours, the fight only about half an hours worth in the middle. Basically he was asking me for some certain pictures and I just don't have the time right now. It takes me ages to do those and I am not 100% comfortable with it. But during this talk my facebook told Ryan I logged off so her got mad and sent an angry message and I sent one back saying I was still there and we managed to fix things. Even though for a bit I was scared and crying like the silly worrier I am. Then I just said it was stupid, we can't waste time fighting over this crap, and it will be ok. Now, off to packing!
-
Allie & Ryan
-
Allie & Ryan
-
Allie & Ryan
-
Allie & Ryan
-
Allie & Ryan
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Last Week in DC
Sorry I have slacked in my updating the past few days. I have been so overwhelmed stressed the last few days! On Thursday I had a rough day trying to do that stupid light hang job. The designer is just making my life difficult and I regret taking the job in the first place. I have very little time to do a lot of work and it sucks. I then spent the evening bagging up old clothes for the salvation army, removing posters and pictures from my walls, and battling with the blue tacky stuff that does not want to seem to come off. I spent hours trying to get the walls clean and they still aren't. It sucks. And pieces of the paint came off on some of it and I am not sure if I have to fix those or not before I move out. I need my security deposit back so that needs to be fixed.
That night I ended up being awake until almost 5am! Between the walls and watching some heavily emotional episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 5 on DVD!) I just could not settle to sleep regardless how tired I was. The Ryan called me that morning around 7:30am! I remember him saying his phone card didn't have much time on it and we said I love you and Miss you.... but I don't remember anything else! I had only been asleep for two hours and I think my brain was still foggy. I hope I didn't sound too awful!
Fiday I went in to work and hung lights for seven hours. Three by myself, 2 with Rich, and 2 with Cat. I got almost all the lights on the plot in the air except the ones that were missing, and I started circuiting too. I still have quite a bit to do, but I got a huge chunk done thankfully. By myself it was hard. I was on the giant scaffolding thing and I had to climb up and down constantly carrying lights and rolling the thing around. I got soooo much more done when other people where there! I am nice a calloused now.
Then we had our last show for Fringe Friday at 11:30pm. Jay (the director and a good friend of mine) picked me up and drove me back so I wouldn't have to metro, and he took me on his motorcycle! It was cool, I had never been on one before and it was pretty fun. Good for short distances but I don't think I would last too long on the back of one for a road trip. I'd say an hour tops if I had to. In the city it was handy though, we could weave and drive easier. I think flying down the highway I'd be terrified but we hit 55 maybe once in the city so I was ok with it. The show went well, everything ran smoothly, including the lights! Finally! Go me! Then this club (Lux?) nearby was doing a big promotion and I think I saw the Real World DC crew hanging out there. I am sure the cast was around but I have no idea which ones they were, but the guy with the camera you couldn't miss!
I got home that night and my apartment was so hot. When Caitlin moved out either she or her charming boyfriend turned the AC up to 89 degrees before they left!!! I saw the temperature was currently at 76, and set for 89! Witch. Ugh. So not cool. I was always pleasant to her so I don't know why they would have done that. Unless they overheard the "Cat Lady" remarks... but that was usually Ryan saying that not me. (She sneaked in two illegal cats, living in University of Maryland housing we can't have pets and I am allergic so it was sucky.)
Yesterday I got another phone call from Ryan in the morning. He told me they were moving out tomorrow (today) to start his mission. I at least now know where he will be generally, but I won't write it here. I know better! It is a little safer I think than his original planned location so I am happy about that. He asked for toys, coloring books, cleaning supplies, and socks for the locals in his next care package. He also said phone access will be limited but apparently they will have wireless which is good. I think he said he asked his Mom to send his laptop so at least I can still talk to him.
I went back to sleep for a bit after I talked to Ryan. Then I got up and went to Gregg's for the cast party. It was fun, lots of good food, a keg of Dogfish, and of course Rock Band on the Wii. I was there for a bit and then I went to see Jay's other show Magnum Opus. It was another English language Opera and I knew a lot of the cast, including the composer and the stage manager, and it was pretty good. Jenny and Brian (two friends I graduated with, fellow Drama majors) were there so it was nice to see them again.
When I got to the theatre I was early so I decided to walk and buy some more cigarettes. After I got them it started raining. So I am on the street corner next to this tall blodne when all these young black kids come up to us and start saying "You're so pretty. Can you hang out? What are you doing?" and stuff. The other girl goes, "Sorry, I'm married and she's with me." and we walked across the street. She then offered me to share her umbrella with her which was sweet. Then I looked at her and I realized why she was so familiar, she was a contestant on America's Next Top Model! I told her she handled them well and thanked her for helping me, then I said, "Sorry, you must get this a lot, but were you..." and before I could finish she replied, "On America's Next Top Model? Yes I was." And I apologized for bringing it up and she said it wasn't a problem, she went on the show and put herself out there so it was expected. She introduced herself, Sara, as did I and we chatted for a few blocks. I told her I was going to the opera and she said she was meeting girlfriends for dinner. Sara was about 6 feet tall, so thin, gorgeous, and very kind. I then thanked her for sharing her umbrella as we parted ways and then said it was nice meeting her. I thought it was pretty cool!
After the opera we went back to Gregg's for a bit. I got my paycheck, yay! And then he gave all of us a cast/crew photo we had taken when we had dress rehearsal and at IKEA he found these mini easels he spray painted red and put the frame on that... it fit with the theme of the show and it was very sweet. I hung out there a bit longer then went and met people at the Dubliner for my friend Tom's 21st Birthday. I had a cider or two and Tom was pretty wasted by the end of the night! The bouncer kept buying him drinks and he was gooooone. But it was nice to see people again, I mostly talked to Jenny and just hung out.
Today I went to church, still keeping my promise to myself! I slept through noon mass but there was one at 4:30pm I went to. It was actually celebrated by the cardinal which was pretty cool. Then in his homily he talked about how he spent last Holy Thursday in Iraq, celebrating with the men and women stationed there. As he spoke it brought tears to my eyes. I wonder if I went to the noon mass if he would have been there, it was almost a sign to me that Ryan would be ok and I was just very grateful to hear it.
Now I am home. I saw Ryan quickly posted on his facebook that he made it safe to his new location, thank goodness. I talked to his Mom earlier today and we're keeping one another updated as much as possible.
AND. Great news. My voicemail from Ryan was set to expire, but I listened to it today, teary thinking I'd not get to again. But I tried to hit the save button and it reset for another 21 days!!! Very happy about that.
Sorry this got a tad longer than expected! Hopefully I will hear from Ryan soon. And Disney is in T-Minus 24 days!
That night I ended up being awake until almost 5am! Between the walls and watching some heavily emotional episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (season 5 on DVD!) I just could not settle to sleep regardless how tired I was. The Ryan called me that morning around 7:30am! I remember him saying his phone card didn't have much time on it and we said I love you and Miss you.... but I don't remember anything else! I had only been asleep for two hours and I think my brain was still foggy. I hope I didn't sound too awful!
Fiday I went in to work and hung lights for seven hours. Three by myself, 2 with Rich, and 2 with Cat. I got almost all the lights on the plot in the air except the ones that were missing, and I started circuiting too. I still have quite a bit to do, but I got a huge chunk done thankfully. By myself it was hard. I was on the giant scaffolding thing and I had to climb up and down constantly carrying lights and rolling the thing around. I got soooo much more done when other people where there! I am nice a calloused now.
Then we had our last show for Fringe Friday at 11:30pm. Jay (the director and a good friend of mine) picked me up and drove me back so I wouldn't have to metro, and he took me on his motorcycle! It was cool, I had never been on one before and it was pretty fun. Good for short distances but I don't think I would last too long on the back of one for a road trip. I'd say an hour tops if I had to. In the city it was handy though, we could weave and drive easier. I think flying down the highway I'd be terrified but we hit 55 maybe once in the city so I was ok with it. The show went well, everything ran smoothly, including the lights! Finally! Go me! Then this club (Lux?) nearby was doing a big promotion and I think I saw the Real World DC crew hanging out there. I am sure the cast was around but I have no idea which ones they were, but the guy with the camera you couldn't miss!
I got home that night and my apartment was so hot. When Caitlin moved out either she or her charming boyfriend turned the AC up to 89 degrees before they left!!! I saw the temperature was currently at 76, and set for 89! Witch. Ugh. So not cool. I was always pleasant to her so I don't know why they would have done that. Unless they overheard the "Cat Lady" remarks... but that was usually Ryan saying that not me. (She sneaked in two illegal cats, living in University of Maryland housing we can't have pets and I am allergic so it was sucky.)
Yesterday I got another phone call from Ryan in the morning. He told me they were moving out tomorrow (today) to start his mission. I at least now know where he will be generally, but I won't write it here. I know better! It is a little safer I think than his original planned location so I am happy about that. He asked for toys, coloring books, cleaning supplies, and socks for the locals in his next care package. He also said phone access will be limited but apparently they will have wireless which is good. I think he said he asked his Mom to send his laptop so at least I can still talk to him.
I went back to sleep for a bit after I talked to Ryan. Then I got up and went to Gregg's for the cast party. It was fun, lots of good food, a keg of Dogfish, and of course Rock Band on the Wii. I was there for a bit and then I went to see Jay's other show Magnum Opus. It was another English language Opera and I knew a lot of the cast, including the composer and the stage manager, and it was pretty good. Jenny and Brian (two friends I graduated with, fellow Drama majors) were there so it was nice to see them again.
When I got to the theatre I was early so I decided to walk and buy some more cigarettes. After I got them it started raining. So I am on the street corner next to this tall blodne when all these young black kids come up to us and start saying "You're so pretty. Can you hang out? What are you doing?" and stuff. The other girl goes, "Sorry, I'm married and she's with me." and we walked across the street. She then offered me to share her umbrella with her which was sweet. Then I looked at her and I realized why she was so familiar, she was a contestant on America's Next Top Model! I told her she handled them well and thanked her for helping me, then I said, "Sorry, you must get this a lot, but were you..." and before I could finish she replied, "On America's Next Top Model? Yes I was." And I apologized for bringing it up and she said it wasn't a problem, she went on the show and put herself out there so it was expected. She introduced herself, Sara, as did I and we chatted for a few blocks. I told her I was going to the opera and she said she was meeting girlfriends for dinner. Sara was about 6 feet tall, so thin, gorgeous, and very kind. I then thanked her for sharing her umbrella as we parted ways and then said it was nice meeting her. I thought it was pretty cool!
After the opera we went back to Gregg's for a bit. I got my paycheck, yay! And then he gave all of us a cast/crew photo we had taken when we had dress rehearsal and at IKEA he found these mini easels he spray painted red and put the frame on that... it fit with the theme of the show and it was very sweet. I hung out there a bit longer then went and met people at the Dubliner for my friend Tom's 21st Birthday. I had a cider or two and Tom was pretty wasted by the end of the night! The bouncer kept buying him drinks and he was gooooone. But it was nice to see people again, I mostly talked to Jenny and just hung out.
Today I went to church, still keeping my promise to myself! I slept through noon mass but there was one at 4:30pm I went to. It was actually celebrated by the cardinal which was pretty cool. Then in his homily he talked about how he spent last Holy Thursday in Iraq, celebrating with the men and women stationed there. As he spoke it brought tears to my eyes. I wonder if I went to the noon mass if he would have been there, it was almost a sign to me that Ryan would be ok and I was just very grateful to hear it.
Now I am home. I saw Ryan quickly posted on his facebook that he made it safe to his new location, thank goodness. I talked to his Mom earlier today and we're keeping one another updated as much as possible.
AND. Great news. My voicemail from Ryan was set to expire, but I listened to it today, teary thinking I'd not get to again. But I tried to hit the save button and it reset for another 21 days!!! Very happy about that.
Sorry this got a tad longer than expected! Hopefully I will hear from Ryan soon. And Disney is in T-Minus 24 days!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
First phone call!
As you can tell from the title I got my first phone call from Ryan today!! I was just telling my mom yesterday that I knew Ryan's mom sent him phone cards but I still hadn't heard from him and the whole thing with his saved voicemail expiring in three days. Well today, after a stressful day (long story short I agreed to be Master Electrician for a show and I have a week to do it alone since the designer took forever, plus tons of complications and the fact I have a week to do it, clean, and move!) he made it all better!
I was sitting on my bed working on my photo albums. I have about 36 envelopes of pictures from when I studied abroad that I had been meaning to put in pictures, so I finally forced myself to do it. Note to self: buy two more albums! Well I'm working on that when my phone rings. It was a weird number, and it was missing one in the sequence so I thought it was a spam call in all honesty. But I answered and then I couldn't hear anyone for awhile. So I hung up and then they called back. And it was Ryan! I got to talk to him for 36 minutes and 56 seconds! It was wonderful. Just hearing his voice almost made my eyes tear up but I kept it all in check so I could talk to him.
He was telling me about base and a little bit about what he might be doing on his mission. I told him about my day, and that I sent him care packages. I told him what was in my mom's but I left mine a surprise. We were talking and laughing and I felt like it was normal again... like we were talking on the phone at night before bed except it was 10pm for me and 5am for him. He told me the food on base is actually really good, it is prepared by Iraqis, and that it is better than any chow he'd had before. In 8th and I or Quantico!
Just hearing his voice and talking to him made me feel so amazing. I got to talk to him online this morning for an hour and then on the phone too... I am so incredibly lucky.
Also, I found this website I wanted to share. It is like a positive FML.
http://www.givesmehope.com
If you ever need to smile or have your faith restored in humanity that is the place to do it!
I was sitting on my bed working on my photo albums. I have about 36 envelopes of pictures from when I studied abroad that I had been meaning to put in pictures, so I finally forced myself to do it. Note to self: buy two more albums! Well I'm working on that when my phone rings. It was a weird number, and it was missing one in the sequence so I thought it was a spam call in all honesty. But I answered and then I couldn't hear anyone for awhile. So I hung up and then they called back. And it was Ryan! I got to talk to him for 36 minutes and 56 seconds! It was wonderful. Just hearing his voice almost made my eyes tear up but I kept it all in check so I could talk to him.
He was telling me about base and a little bit about what he might be doing on his mission. I told him about my day, and that I sent him care packages. I told him what was in my mom's but I left mine a surprise. We were talking and laughing and I felt like it was normal again... like we were talking on the phone at night before bed except it was 10pm for me and 5am for him. He told me the food on base is actually really good, it is prepared by Iraqis, and that it is better than any chow he'd had before. In 8th and I or Quantico!
Just hearing his voice and talking to him made me feel so amazing. I got to talk to him online this morning for an hour and then on the phone too... I am so incredibly lucky.
Also, I found this website I wanted to share. It is like a positive FML.
http://www.givesmehope.com
If you ever need to smile or have your faith restored in humanity that is the place to do it!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Bound to happen...
Yesterday I went to meet my friend Anna Laura for lunch at IHOP. I am half way there when my mom, Ryan's mom, and our friend Dell all text me saying Ryan is online. I am nowhere near a computer! I was so upset I was tempted to blow off lunch but I couldn't do that to one of my good friends, it wouldn't be fair. So my mom ended up calling me and during some of lunch she relayed messages back and forth for us. I would say something on the phone, she'd type, Ryan would respond, Mom would give me the message... etc. Then Ryan's mom said he would try and wake up early that morning to talk to me but as I found out later a sandstorm happened so he didn't come on. I waited until after 3am my time for him. Then at 7:30am I got a text saying he was on!! So I did get to talk to him this morning for an hour or so, which was wonderful as usual. Thank god for facebook chat. And technology in general.
Backtracking a tad... Sunday I woke up and I went to church. I was pretty proud of myself for sticking to my promise to myself to go every Sunday while Ryan is gone. And yea I know it is only the second one, but so far so good! But I am kind of convinced God sent a guardian angel for me. You know in Catholic Masses when you do the sign of peace and everyone shakes hands and hugs and says "Peace be with you"? Well, usually when I go to church by myself that is kind of awkward. Everyone usually turns to their family first and I kinda shuffle around until someone turns to shake my hand. Well, today I was next to this old black lady and the instant the priest gave the word, she turned to me and gave me a big hug and said, "God be with you. He is watching out for you and loves you, and I love you too sweetie." I was just extremely touched and it made me smile. I wasn't crying or anything in church this week like I did last week with my mom (especially at the militart intention) but this woman must have just known. As I watched her shake hands with everyone else around her I knew someone was watching out for me.
Care packages sent: 2
I sent one yesterday, all stuff from me. Sunflower seeds, beef jerkey, cards, glowsticks, a yo-yo, little capsuls you put in water that turn into sponge animals, magazines, a notebook, oens, word puzzles, sour patch kids, mini oreos, asprin, chapstick, a protective case for his ipod, and the most perfect card ever. Remember the post I made where he said when he looks at the stars he thinks of me? Well I found one that was a little bear on a hillside looking at the moon and stars saying "No matter where you are...", then inside it shows the little bear's heart on its chest and says, "You're right here with me."
The second package was sent today and mostly from my mom. Baby powder, sunscreen, antibacterial lotion, wet ones wipes, chapstick, more sunflower seeds and beef jerkey, two hackey sack type things, tons of mike and ikes and razzles, and another deck of cards.
I waited up again hoping for him to somehow come online at 3am, 10am for him, but no dice. Maybe I will get another 7:00am phone call or text telling me he is online if I am lucky. I do love that we can chat online, but I do miss the sound of his voice. The one voicemail I have from him that I saved before he left expires in three days. I tear up listening to it... just hearing him say he can't wait to see me tomorrow and he loves me... it makes it feel like he is still here and not so far away.
Guess I just really miss him. 222 days to go?
Backtracking a tad... Sunday I woke up and I went to church. I was pretty proud of myself for sticking to my promise to myself to go every Sunday while Ryan is gone. And yea I know it is only the second one, but so far so good! But I am kind of convinced God sent a guardian angel for me. You know in Catholic Masses when you do the sign of peace and everyone shakes hands and hugs and says "Peace be with you"? Well, usually when I go to church by myself that is kind of awkward. Everyone usually turns to their family first and I kinda shuffle around until someone turns to shake my hand. Well, today I was next to this old black lady and the instant the priest gave the word, she turned to me and gave me a big hug and said, "God be with you. He is watching out for you and loves you, and I love you too sweetie." I was just extremely touched and it made me smile. I wasn't crying or anything in church this week like I did last week with my mom (especially at the militart intention) but this woman must have just known. As I watched her shake hands with everyone else around her I knew someone was watching out for me.
Care packages sent: 2
I sent one yesterday, all stuff from me. Sunflower seeds, beef jerkey, cards, glowsticks, a yo-yo, little capsuls you put in water that turn into sponge animals, magazines, a notebook, oens, word puzzles, sour patch kids, mini oreos, asprin, chapstick, a protective case for his ipod, and the most perfect card ever. Remember the post I made where he said when he looks at the stars he thinks of me? Well I found one that was a little bear on a hillside looking at the moon and stars saying "No matter where you are...", then inside it shows the little bear's heart on its chest and says, "You're right here with me."
The second package was sent today and mostly from my mom. Baby powder, sunscreen, antibacterial lotion, wet ones wipes, chapstick, more sunflower seeds and beef jerkey, two hackey sack type things, tons of mike and ikes and razzles, and another deck of cards.
I waited up again hoping for him to somehow come online at 3am, 10am for him, but no dice. Maybe I will get another 7:00am phone call or text telling me he is online if I am lucky. I do love that we can chat online, but I do miss the sound of his voice. The one voicemail I have from him that I saved before he left expires in three days. I tear up listening to it... just hearing him say he can't wait to see me tomorrow and he loves me... it makes it feel like he is still here and not so far away.
Guess I just really miss him. 222 days to go?
Friday, July 17, 2009
Anger fueled by ignorance...
So I am still trying to figure this out... thanks to the new followers I have! It made me smile to see that. I have tried adding people and for some reason for certain people I show up on their lists twice... so sorry about that. I have tried to fix it but I got frustrated and gave up. Silly technology. If you remove one I won't take offense!
No word from Ryan today :( First time since he has been in Iraq that I heard nothing at all Usually I have an email waiting or I get to facebook chat him at some point. But I know he was starting training today so I half expected it. I got spoiled this week talking to him so much, and I know I need to get used to this sparcer communication! It will be harder now, but we can do it. I am also currently putting together one kick ass carepackage for him.
Now for the rant. Sorry, have to do it. I am a member of a yahoo group called USMC_gals... it is for the wives/fiances/girlfriends of Marines. Just to talk and get advice and reach out to others who understand. I've seen a few people on there who have encountered ignorant people who talk down upon Marines and what sacrifices they make for our country, but I never thought I would face one. Mind you mine was not in person but it infuriated me all the same.
Are you familiar with the Post Secret Project? Basically you but a secret annonymously on a post card and mail it in to this man who runs a website, postsecret.org. Viewing the secrets helps a lot of people realize they are not alone in many ways and it is a great thing.
Well livejournal has a LiveJournalSecret sort of copy cat project, but instead of just updating every Sunday it is every weekday and many more of them. I usually read them and comment occassionally, but I came across this one today and for the first time in my life I saw red.
http://i28.tinypic.com/2mnpqtx.jpg
If you can't open the link (because I would never dare post such a picture as a picture here), it is a sillouhette of a soldier against an American flag, then in text it says, "Seeing or thinking of soliders dying in Iraq never fails to put a smile on my face."
Nearly every person who commented on it said it was probably a troll, someone making a horribly offensive secret just to incite a reaction or whatever... but even so it is a terrible thing to say.
Here was my comment reply on the secret...
27. You are a terrible, terrible person who I pray is a troll but might not be. All those men and women who are fighting in Iraq are fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, friends, loved ones, brothers, sisters, significant others, and friends to countless people. You can disagree all you want with a war but to wish harm on the people willing to lay down their lives for you to spew this crap on the internet is disgusting. Am I biased for having a boyfriend serving in Iraq? Perhaps. But I would never "smile" wishing harm on another human being. You disgust me.
So if any of you have livejournal I encourage you to go to this post and give this jackass a piece of your mind! I know so many people, not just me, who have boyfriends, fiancess, and husbands (and more) that do so much and I know one person should not bother me this much, but I am so infuriated right now I am literally shaking.
http://community.livejournal.com/ljsecret/413855.html?page=2#comments There is the link. Secret number 27 and you can comment on the bottom.
Thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate it.
No word from Ryan today :( First time since he has been in Iraq that I heard nothing at all Usually I have an email waiting or I get to facebook chat him at some point. But I know he was starting training today so I half expected it. I got spoiled this week talking to him so much, and I know I need to get used to this sparcer communication! It will be harder now, but we can do it. I am also currently putting together one kick ass carepackage for him.
Now for the rant. Sorry, have to do it. I am a member of a yahoo group called USMC_gals... it is for the wives/fiances/girlfriends of Marines. Just to talk and get advice and reach out to others who understand. I've seen a few people on there who have encountered ignorant people who talk down upon Marines and what sacrifices they make for our country, but I never thought I would face one. Mind you mine was not in person but it infuriated me all the same.
Are you familiar with the Post Secret Project? Basically you but a secret annonymously on a post card and mail it in to this man who runs a website, postsecret.org. Viewing the secrets helps a lot of people realize they are not alone in many ways and it is a great thing.
Well livejournal has a LiveJournalSecret sort of copy cat project, but instead of just updating every Sunday it is every weekday and many more of them. I usually read them and comment occassionally, but I came across this one today and for the first time in my life I saw red.
http://i28.tinypic.com/2mnpqtx.jpg
If you can't open the link (because I would never dare post such a picture as a picture here), it is a sillouhette of a soldier against an American flag, then in text it says, "Seeing or thinking of soliders dying in Iraq never fails to put a smile on my face."
Nearly every person who commented on it said it was probably a troll, someone making a horribly offensive secret just to incite a reaction or whatever... but even so it is a terrible thing to say.
Here was my comment reply on the secret...
27. You are a terrible, terrible person who I pray is a troll but might not be. All those men and women who are fighting in Iraq are fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, friends, loved ones, brothers, sisters, significant others, and friends to countless people. You can disagree all you want with a war but to wish harm on the people willing to lay down their lives for you to spew this crap on the internet is disgusting. Am I biased for having a boyfriend serving in Iraq? Perhaps. But I would never "smile" wishing harm on another human being. You disgust me.
So if any of you have livejournal I encourage you to go to this post and give this jackass a piece of your mind! I know so many people, not just me, who have boyfriends, fiancess, and husbands (and more) that do so much and I know one person should not bother me this much, but I am so infuriated right now I am literally shaking.
http://community.livejournal.com/ljsecret/413855.html?page=2#comments There is the link. Secret number 27 and you can comment on the bottom.
Thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Not much change...
So this week has been pretty standard. I usually wake up around 7am or so and talk to Ryan for a bit and then go back to bed. If I am lucky I catch him again around 3pm and of course we have our emails. I still have yet to hear his voice, just in the saved voicemail I have on my phone for eleven more days.
Yesterday, Cat and I had a nice late pizza lunch and then we went and walked from Chinatown to the mall. We walked through the sculpture garden at the museum and put our feet in the fountain. Then we crossed the mall to the other sculpture garden and walked through it. In there they had this project started by Yoko Ono, you know, the wench who broke up the Beatles :P Anyway, it was called the Wishing Tree and it was this beautiful tree and next to it there was this box. Inside was paper and pencils and you write your wish on it and hang it on the tree. The have them in a lot of major cities apparently, it was beautiful. I wrote one wishing for Ryan and TFE to come home safely from Iraq... so I was definitely thinking of him as usual.
Some of the wishes were very silly, some typical, and some sad. There was one wish on the very bottom of the tree that said "I wish I were taller"! And one that wrenched my heart said "I wish no children would have to suffer from cancer" in pencil, then in the same handwriting under it said, "Especially my own". Others wished for love or fame or forture... and oddly a lot of them wished for puppies! You could tell a lot of little kids visited that tree!
After that we walked on the mall and watched the kickball and softball teams. If I ever live in DC again, and part of me hopes I do someday as I really do love this city... I want to join one of those leagues in the summer. They look like so much fun! But we watched them a bit and then we played Scrabble on a bench nearby. Cat had a travel edition we were itching to break out! It was a good game, we didn't keep score and managed to get all the tiles on the board. We then walked down to my favorite memorial, the WW2 one, and took a few pictures along the way. We then walked back to Chinatown and we saw that Navy band playing near the metro stop at the Archives so we listened for a bit before heading back. Then we all headed to my apartment and Anna Laura met us there. Coincedentally the 5th Harry Potter movie was on HBO, so we watched it and snacked on some chips and chicken nuggets and just talked. Then we went to the movie.
The movie was really good. One of the better versions of the book I've seen, so I was pretty happy about most of it. And it was looooong! We got out around 2:40am and I just got home, around an hour later. I drove Rich, Nick, and Cat home since they live by campus and the metro was obviously closed. But we had a good time. I heard that Darius Rucker song Ryan likes on the radio as I was driving, the one with "I've got a roof over my head the woman I love laying in my bed and its alright..." and I thought of him. It made me smile and kept me awake as I made the last leg home.
Tomorrow I think I am driving down to Quantico to hang out with Nadia for the day. I think both of us could use the distraction. She is pretty miserable as she doesn't get to talk to Spencer (her husband) as much as I do to Ryan. And the kids keep asking her where Daddy is which breaks my heart.
I am a little nervous. Ryan told me he has a new mission now, different from before. He can tell me about it maybe when it is half done or not til the end. I am praying for them all and I know they know what they're doing. I know communication will be rough once he is off base so I am really cherishing these emails and facebook chats. I am also dorkily saving them all! So when there are days I can't talk to him I will be re-reading them religiously. I can promise that.
Oh Babci's surgery was today, hip replacement. I know it will be fine, it is the recovery we're all worried about. I love the woman but she can be a pain in the ass! Especially with stuff like this. Poor Mom is going nuts! My Dad picked up Babci and Poppy and bought them to our house only to have them realize they forgot Babci's X-Rays! So Mom had to drive an hour to get them and an hour back because they cannot and will not do the surgery without them! She wasn't too happy about that.
Oh! My room mate Caitlin is moving out today. I will officially be the only person left in my apartment!!! Weird! I feel like I live alone basically anyways so not much will change, but it will be weird. Kinda lonely too. Boo. At least its only for like two or three weeks. I have to start packing and organizing and now I can throw anything left behind without wondering who it belongs to. If it is left it is either mine or gone!
My adventure today was small... Anna Laura ran out of gas so I went to get her! Then I read outside by the fountain for an hour before coming back to the apartment.
Gosh I really miss him today. Today is one of the worst days since he actually left. I feel so... lonely.
Yesterday, Cat and I had a nice late pizza lunch and then we went and walked from Chinatown to the mall. We walked through the sculpture garden at the museum and put our feet in the fountain. Then we crossed the mall to the other sculpture garden and walked through it. In there they had this project started by Yoko Ono, you know, the wench who broke up the Beatles :P Anyway, it was called the Wishing Tree and it was this beautiful tree and next to it there was this box. Inside was paper and pencils and you write your wish on it and hang it on the tree. The have them in a lot of major cities apparently, it was beautiful. I wrote one wishing for Ryan and TFE to come home safely from Iraq... so I was definitely thinking of him as usual.
Some of the wishes were very silly, some typical, and some sad. There was one wish on the very bottom of the tree that said "I wish I were taller"! And one that wrenched my heart said "I wish no children would have to suffer from cancer" in pencil, then in the same handwriting under it said, "Especially my own". Others wished for love or fame or forture... and oddly a lot of them wished for puppies! You could tell a lot of little kids visited that tree!
After that we walked on the mall and watched the kickball and softball teams. If I ever live in DC again, and part of me hopes I do someday as I really do love this city... I want to join one of those leagues in the summer. They look like so much fun! But we watched them a bit and then we played Scrabble on a bench nearby. Cat had a travel edition we were itching to break out! It was a good game, we didn't keep score and managed to get all the tiles on the board. We then walked down to my favorite memorial, the WW2 one, and took a few pictures along the way. We then walked back to Chinatown and we saw that Navy band playing near the metro stop at the Archives so we listened for a bit before heading back. Then we all headed to my apartment and Anna Laura met us there. Coincedentally the 5th Harry Potter movie was on HBO, so we watched it and snacked on some chips and chicken nuggets and just talked. Then we went to the movie.
The movie was really good. One of the better versions of the book I've seen, so I was pretty happy about most of it. And it was looooong! We got out around 2:40am and I just got home, around an hour later. I drove Rich, Nick, and Cat home since they live by campus and the metro was obviously closed. But we had a good time. I heard that Darius Rucker song Ryan likes on the radio as I was driving, the one with "I've got a roof over my head the woman I love laying in my bed and its alright..." and I thought of him. It made me smile and kept me awake as I made the last leg home.
Tomorrow I think I am driving down to Quantico to hang out with Nadia for the day. I think both of us could use the distraction. She is pretty miserable as she doesn't get to talk to Spencer (her husband) as much as I do to Ryan. And the kids keep asking her where Daddy is which breaks my heart.
I am a little nervous. Ryan told me he has a new mission now, different from before. He can tell me about it maybe when it is half done or not til the end. I am praying for them all and I know they know what they're doing. I know communication will be rough once he is off base so I am really cherishing these emails and facebook chats. I am also dorkily saving them all! So when there are days I can't talk to him I will be re-reading them religiously. I can promise that.
Oh Babci's surgery was today, hip replacement. I know it will be fine, it is the recovery we're all worried about. I love the woman but she can be a pain in the ass! Especially with stuff like this. Poor Mom is going nuts! My Dad picked up Babci and Poppy and bought them to our house only to have them realize they forgot Babci's X-Rays! So Mom had to drive an hour to get them and an hour back because they cannot and will not do the surgery without them! She wasn't too happy about that.
Oh! My room mate Caitlin is moving out today. I will officially be the only person left in my apartment!!! Weird! I feel like I live alone basically anyways so not much will change, but it will be weird. Kinda lonely too. Boo. At least its only for like two or three weeks. I have to start packing and organizing and now I can throw anything left behind without wondering who it belongs to. If it is left it is either mine or gone!
My adventure today was small... Anna Laura ran out of gas so I went to get her! Then I read outside by the fountain for an hour before coming back to the apartment.
Gosh I really miss him today. Today is one of the worst days since he actually left. I feel so... lonely.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Totally worth waking up at 7:30am for...
I got a phone call at almost 7:30 am from Ryan's mom saying he was online and to sign on. I did and I got to talk to him on facebook for 15 minutes and I had an email waiting! He is training on base for awhile and told me about the weather. It is insanely hot, like when you open an oven door, all the time. And the sand is like fine powder and it gets everywhere. Apparently they changed up the teams again but he said his is still the best. He couldn't tell me who was where for security online, but I hope it's good! And he said I knew people on it. So fingers crossed.
7:42am Ryan
have a great day sweetie ill be thinking about you when i see the stars tonight
Hopefully I'll have at least one star to look at to think of him too.
7:42am Ryan
have a great day sweetie ill be thinking about you when i see the stars tonight
Hopefully I'll have at least one star to look at to think of him too.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
It's so hard to say goodbye...
Well I cannot believe how quickly this time has flown. He's gone. I guess I need to back track a little. Wednesday I ended up not going down to see him since he called to tell me that we had more time than expected! Which was great. But I had rehearsal and then Mom came into DC and I picked her up at Union Station, she came in at 10:30am so it was an "early" morning for me (up at 9!) but I was at her gate waiting with coffee so I did well. We spent the day together, did some shopping (pretty shirt in the picture is evidence) and monument hopping. That and this AWFUL late dinner thing at this french cafe... we had a pizza thingy that was ok and then this meat/bread/cold/overspiced thing that made us both pretty sick! Ick. The next day Mom came to rehearsal with me and Redrum is kind of a death trap. 12 lighting instruments, holes in ceiling and floor, no bathroom in the building, light board with no memory and two faders I slide manually for cues (ignore techy talk, if you don't get it just realize it is old and difficult!), and hot! But she liked what she saw and after that we braved rush hour for the drive to Quantico.
2 Hours later we made it! Ryan shaved his head as per pre deployment tradition and he had that whole Keanu Reeves (ala Matrix) look about him! Friday was parents meeting day. My mom got to meet his mom, Bob, and his grandparents and things went well! We all had dinner (at Sam's again!) in Q-Town and then hung out behind the barracks in typical weekday night style. We had some beers and Ryan and I played horseshoes (I lost 5-3. We were so bad we only played to 5) and sat and talked and smoked. My mom and I stayed a little longer after Ryan's family left which was great for me to spend just a little more time with him. Then the MPs (Military Police) and were checking IDs... then they saw my mom and just laughed and lightened up on the whole thing!
We then went to my mom's friend Suzanne's house for the night since she was local and it was free. It was nice to stay there but I got a little time warped/confused and, well it stunk to have happen. In the morning Ryan called at 11am and said head over whenever since originally we were to be there at 1pm. I also wrote Ryan this long card and got ready and things happened and by the time we got to base it was after 1pm. I thought they were leaving at 9pm but there was a communication mix up and he actually was in formation by 3pm and gone on the busses
by 3:30pm. So I only had an hour and a half with him. I felt awful and so incredibly guilty. To top it all off, I love my mom dearly, but she can't be the designated photographer anymore because this is the only front on picture of the both of us. She cut Ryan out almost completly! You can see the tshirt I am wearing, it has the Eagle Globe and Anchor with the words, Is It February Yet? And Mr Dave, Ryan and his room mate Josh's old boss came to send off. He was incredibly sweet and it was very nice to see him again. You could tell he really cared about both of them and he was sad to see them go. And he gave them each a medal for their dog tags which they both promptly put on. I also re-connected with a woman who is a wife of someone Ryan deployed with. Nadia has been keeping me up to date whenever she hears anything so she has been amazing.Three o'clock came way, way too quickly and before I knew it I was hugging him goodbye.
You can't really see him hugging me back since they were all issued their weapons before send off. But his arm was tightly wrapped around my shoulder and holding me tight. Kissed him goodbye, told him how proud I was of him and I loved him so much and he'd better come home, handed him the letter, and that was it. Said goodbye to Josh as he went towards formation and watched them all stand there. It was like a tease! They were right there and we couldn't hug them or talk to them!
There was a motivational talk and then they were on the busses. I got one last glimpse of him and he was gone....
Man oh man did I bawl. I cried the entire way back to DC. Mom drove. I called Poppy and he talked to me a bit and then Mom took me to a movie to distract me; UP. It was good, a little sad in the beginning but mostly very funny. One line got me teary again, the little boy said, "It may sound boring, but it is the boring things I miss the most." It made me think of Ryan, because it really hit home. It is the little things you miss. The hand holding, the silly jokes, the traditional couple things. We then got some cupcakes in Chinatown and went back to the hotel. It took me ages to finally fall asleep, besides the fact that my mom snores. Like a freight train! I made her take allergy medicine last night but it didn't help too much. Then Nadia called me around 8:45am to tell me she heard from her husband and that they were in Germany. Mom and I had breakfast delivered to the room, we were lazy, and then went to church. In church when they did the intercession for all military personnel I started crying again. I prayed for Ryan, and Josh and Mic and everyone else. There are so many people on this end praying for them and for a safe return. After church we briefly went to my apartment and I checked my email before we left. I was ecstatic to see one from Ryan waiting. He was saying he was in Germany and loved and missed me already. It was soooooo good to hear from him, even if it was just an email. I took Mom to the train station and dropped her off after that.
Then we had our first show. Life in Death. The Fringe festival kind of screwed us, they said in the program our show was Saturday, not Sunday, so we had four people in the audience! No major train wrecks, mostly it was hot and the singers got a bit disorieented and screwed up lyrically towards the end and I battled some hard light cues, but we did it! After the show we all walked around the corner to have a beer and just relax. I talked to Ryan's Mom on the phone for a bit and she told me you were in Iraq probably by now, not Kuwaiit (like originally thought for a few weeks). I had a BLT (with cheese!) and a beer, then went home. Where I had another email waiting! This one said he (and his gear) made it to Iraq. I signed on to facebook and saw he updated his status and I must have missed him by two minutes!!!! I was so sad. But I did have an email so I snapped myself out of it and sent him a nice long one back.
Then we had our first show. Life in Death. The Fringe festival kind of screwed us, they said in the program our show was Saturday, not Sunday, so we had four people in the audience! No major train wrecks, mostly it was hot and the singers got a bit disorieented and screwed up lyrically towards the end and I battled some hard light cues, but we did it! After the show we all walked around the corner to have a beer and just relax. I talked to Ryan's Mom on the phone for a bit and she told me you were in Iraq probably by now, not Kuwaiit (like originally thought for a few weeks). I had a BLT (with cheese!) and a beer, then went home. Where I had another email waiting! This one said he (and his gear) made it to Iraq. I signed on to facebook and saw he updated his status and I must have missed him by two minutes!!!! I was so sad. But I did have an email so I snapped myself out of it and sent him a nice long one back.
Since being home I uploaded my pictures, read my emails, and updated this. All as my room mate is moving out. Laura left before the 4th weekend and now Jackie is going... so it is just me and Caitlin til the end of the month? Not sure. The past nights were rough. I haven't slept too well and I keep having small moments of panic when I think about it too much. It really is such a long time. It terrifies me. I literally get this electric shock through my body and almost can't breathe when I think about it too much. I try not to. I tell myself I can do this and we can make it. I just wrap myself in the prayer shawl the ministry at church made me (and for Ryan's mom) with each stitch done with a prayer. And I cuddle with Mutsy, my stuffed puppy in Ryan's tshirt that smells like him and I update it with his cologne. Then I can calm down. I can do it. 2 days almost down, a lot to go. Is it next year yet?
I miss him so much.
I miss him so much.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Just Another Tuesday...
You know, when that Tuesday is probably the last time you're going to see your boyfriend for seven months. I didn't have rehearsal yesterday and Ryan got off work early so I drove down to see him. It took me about an hour and a half thanks to traffic but I got there early enough to beat rush hour at least. I helped him pack up some of his stuff in his room. He has been trying to pack all week but everytime they get something packed their section leader wants to do an inspection so they have to unpack to do it all again! Well, their idea of packing is rolling something into a ball and shoving it into the bag and standing on it or punching it until it is compact.
After packing for a bit we went for dinner in Q-Town at this place called Sam's. It was pretty good, I got some stuffed shells and loved being able to sit and eat with my Marine in his camis. He's too adorable in them.
We went back to the room and hung out a bit more. It was so surreal that this may be the last time we're together besides the send off. It was really hard to wrap my brain around. I just loved being with him, I kept the tears in check the entire time and just enjoyed being with him. A bunch of the guys ended up wanting to watch the Big Lebowski so we started that but it started getting late. Halfway through the movie I knew I needed to go if I was going to make the trip home.
I offered to stay at the Crossroads, the hotel on base, so we could have one more night together. Just to fall asleep with him at my side. But he said no. It was a waste of money and things would be harder for him if we did that. So I respected that and left. He walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes. I was doing pretty well until he said, "I'll see you at send off." I got in the car and waved goodbye and as soon as he was out of sight I started crying. I called my mom and talked to her the entire way back to DC. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Thanks to road work I got home at around 12:30am. I texted Ryan to tell him I made it home and say good night and got a text back. Then he texted me again saying he was a dumbass. I replied, Why??? He basically went on to tell me that he thought it would be easier if he didn't spend the night with me and now all he wanted was me lying next to him one more time before he goes. I replied to him that he would not have said that originally if he didn't know deep down it was true and that it was ok. I didn't feel it really but I was sort of telling him what I knew he needed to hear, because lord knows I just wanted to be with him! And he replied that he just didn't know, he was so confused. He knows he wants to be with me forever but he can't so he is pushing me away which is the opposite of what he wants. I told him again it was ok. He could push me all he wanted I am not going anywhere. And we can be together. We will make it through this deployment and have time for one another fully once more. I even offered to drive down tomorrow night (aka tonight) to spend it with him when I got off rehearsal if he wanted me to.
And that was kind of where we left it. Tack on an I love you and that was it.
Today is our one year and two month anniversary.
After packing for a bit we went for dinner in Q-Town at this place called Sam's. It was pretty good, I got some stuffed shells and loved being able to sit and eat with my Marine in his camis. He's too adorable in them.
We went back to the room and hung out a bit more. It was so surreal that this may be the last time we're together besides the send off. It was really hard to wrap my brain around. I just loved being with him, I kept the tears in check the entire time and just enjoyed being with him. A bunch of the guys ended up wanting to watch the Big Lebowski so we started that but it started getting late. Halfway through the movie I knew I needed to go if I was going to make the trip home.
I offered to stay at the Crossroads, the hotel on base, so we could have one more night together. Just to fall asleep with him at my side. But he said no. It was a waste of money and things would be harder for him if we did that. So I respected that and left. He walked me to my car and we said our goodbyes. I was doing pretty well until he said, "I'll see you at send off." I got in the car and waved goodbye and as soon as he was out of sight I started crying. I called my mom and talked to her the entire way back to DC. I don't know what I'd do without her.
Thanks to road work I got home at around 12:30am. I texted Ryan to tell him I made it home and say good night and got a text back. Then he texted me again saying he was a dumbass. I replied, Why??? He basically went on to tell me that he thought it would be easier if he didn't spend the night with me and now all he wanted was me lying next to him one more time before he goes. I replied to him that he would not have said that originally if he didn't know deep down it was true and that it was ok. I didn't feel it really but I was sort of telling him what I knew he needed to hear, because lord knows I just wanted to be with him! And he replied that he just didn't know, he was so confused. He knows he wants to be with me forever but he can't so he is pushing me away which is the opposite of what he wants. I told him again it was ok. He could push me all he wanted I am not going anywhere. And we can be together. We will make it through this deployment and have time for one another fully once more. I even offered to drive down tomorrow night (aka tonight) to spend it with him when I got off rehearsal if he wanted me to.
And that was kind of where we left it. Tack on an I love you and that was it.
Today is our one year and two month anniversary.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Last Weekend
Well, this weekend was officially my last weekend with Ryan. Friday he came up to DC when I got out of rehearsal, and since he was off work, and it was so good to see him. He met me at Target because I was running an errand for the opera I am stage managing, and then we ran to Old Navy so I could get a shirt for the fourth of July. After that we went and saw Ice Age 3, which was a cute movie. Funny. Sequel-y. I love watching movies with him. The theatre behind my apartment has arm rests that can lift up so you can snuggle like on a loveseat and Ryan always sits with his arms around me, it is really the best way to watch a movie.
Once the movie was over we went back up to my place and made dinner together. I made macaroni and cheese, baked beans, as well as cucumbers in vinegar and pepper. Ryan defrosted and fried chicken and then smothered it in Maurice's yellow bbq sauce that was terrific. It was a damn good dinner. We were watching X-Men on tv while we cooked and ate, then watched Jeff Dunham which was absolutely hilarious.
Once the movie was over we went back up to my place and made dinner together. I made macaroni and cheese, baked beans, as well as cucumbers in vinegar and pepper. Ryan defrosted and fried chicken and then smothered it in Maurice's yellow bbq sauce that was terrific. It was a damn good dinner. We were watching X-Men on tv while we cooked and ate, then watched Jeff Dunham which was absolutely hilarious.
I hope that works. That was the sketch that Ryan and I died laughing to. Achmed the Dead Terrorist. If it doesn't work, youtube it! Friday night finished off enjoyably... and it was the first time all week I fell asleep without using Tylenol Sleep.
Saturday we woke up and my Dad stopped by on his way back from North Carolina where he was house hunting. We went to the Red Rock Canyon Grill in Silver Spring for lunch and it was nice that we got to spend some time with him. Then Ryan and I went back to my place and watched Grease 2. Not really a fan.... but then we left and drove down to Quantico.
We spent the fourth behind the barracks hanging out with a bunch of guys on the Task Force. We had hot dogs and hamburgers, there was beer and beer pong, sparklers, and a bonfire. It was fun! Then the boys were all drunk and climbing trees to pull down branches to put on the fire. Drunk Marines in trees are not a good idea. But I met another girl named Megan who is on my yahoo group and her husband is deploying with Ryan. We talked for a bit and it is nice to know someone is going through the same things I am. Hopefully we'll keep in touch. I talked to a lot of the guys and had a nice evening. Then someone set off a firework and everyone ran and hid for a bit. No fireworks on base boys! Bad! :P One other guy in Ryan's unit actually has his wife working at Disney! She plays Mickey in Animal Kingdom and stuff. Very cool.
I got tired and went to bed around 1:30am. In the hour or hour and a half Ryan was out there without me he managed to burn his thumb, sprain his finger, and bruise his ankle playing football. Oy. But he eventually came up to bed and then proceeded to hog the blankets all night in the blazing Air Conditioner. He is never cold and then he steals the sheets when I need them most. Men.
Slept in sort of the next day. I slept til 11:30am and Ryan slept til 1pm. Showered and got ready. Then we went and met our friends Dell and Janos for lunch at Chilis. After they dropped us off at the barracks again we went upstairs to nap around 4pm. Four and a half hours later I wake up wondering where the hell I am! We passed out!! Then we scrambled to get air in Ryan's tire, gas, a quick McDonalds dinner, and then start driving me back to DC. We talked in the car on and off.... sort of promised to spend next Saint Patrick's Day together no matter what if possible.
Then when we got to my building it was so hard to say goodbye. Lots of hugging, tearing on my part, more hugging and kissing. Then I gave him my claddaugh ring. I was planning to save it for the busses but I doubted I'd be able to keep it together to tell him why I was doing it, so I did it last night. I have been wearing Ryan's ring since August so I figured he could take mine with him. The claddaugh symbolizes love, friendship, and loyalty, all of which I think symbolize our relationship. I also wanted him to know he always has my heart and now he has a small physical piece of it with him. Last night when we spoke on the phone he told me he put it on his dog tags which made me tear again.
I cried when he really left and we made tentative plans to see one another Tuesday, pending he get off work early and I do not have rehearsal. I hope we can. Really badly.
Still no word on when they're officially leaving, what time or where from, but I am on pins and needles. I found myself randomly sobbing as I fell asleep last night and I couldn't control it. I was also pondering my own life and mortality which freaked me out and made me stay up until almost 3am. I woke up at 11am and now have rehearsal at 5:30.
I miss him so much already.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Pre-Deployment Leave
So my first entry will be about one of the best times of my life. Pre-Deployment Leave. We were together from the sixth til the twenty eighth. It is officially the longest amount of time we have ever been able to spend together in the year we have been dating.... 22 whole days. It was amazing. Part of me was worried we were going to get sick of one another, but it never happened. Ryan said so himself, "I didn't think it was possible to fall even more in love with you, but I did."
Ryan came up to DC with me and we packed up a lot of my stuff and put it in my car. I am moving at the end of July so we decided to use this chance to bring home some extra stuff I don't need anymore, like winter clothes and stuff. From DC we went to Atlantic City, NJ. We were there about three days and stayed at the Caeser! A friend of his had a comp room so we got it for like, $26! For two nights! I gambled a little. I had about $40 I was willing to play with and over the three days it became about $170. I stuck with Black Jack and quit when I was ahead and did well. Ryan went with Roulette and a bit of Black Jack and lost $400. We had fun though. We built a sandcastle on the beach and swam in the frigid ocean and had free drinks at the casino... a good time overall.
After Atlantic City we went to my family's home in NJ. We hung out with them for a few days and were setting up for my Graduation Party mostly. That Saturday we had about 60 people, family and friends, at my house for the party and it POURED the entire time! We still had a blast and my friends from high school got to meet Ryan and they all got along great. We were in NJ until that Monday at which we left at 4:30am. I slept the whole way to DC, about four hours, where we switched from my car to his, then drove the rest of the way to South Carolina. We got there after 5pm, so nearly 13 hours in the car!!! Ugh it was a long long time. I've never done a trip that long in a car.
South Carolina is where Ryan is from, so we stayed with his family and spent time with them. I got to try lots of Southern foods, boiled peanuts, sweet tea, squash casserole, yellow bar-b-que sauce at Maurices, Sonic, and lots of other things. I met his entire family and we bonded which was great. I played golf for the first time with Ryan and his uncle and fell in love with it. I want to play golf! We also went with his other uncle to a shooting range and I got to fire a gun for the first time, it was something Ryan really wanted to teach me to do and be safe with so it was great. We saw Transformers opening night, went out to his old hang outs, celebrated his mom's birthday, had a party at his uncle's lake house, and went bowling.
It was the best three weeks of my life.
On the way back I even somehow convinced Ryan to stop at South of the Border! He wasn't too thrilled about it, but he got some fireworks in the store there and was ok after that.
Now the bad part comes. His deployment. It is soon. Like wicked soon. So soon I feel like I want to dig my fingernails into time and make it drag to a stop so he doesn't have to go. For security I know not to post when but girls, I am so scared. It is the first deployment for both of us and he will most likely be gone until February. My mom is coming down for when he leaves and his family is coming up...it will be the first time our moms will meet. I don't want him to go! I am so nervous and scared and worried and trying to keep a brave face. When he dropped me off at home after the leave vacation I sobbed for ages with him.
It has been two days since I have seen him. He will be gone in less than 10. I hope I can see him this weekend... but this will be IT. The last times together. God I am so scared. I didn't expect this all to ever sneak up on me.
Oh, the second part of my blog title hasn't kicked in yet, the Disney part. Starting in August I will be an intern at Disney World, so the double Ds will kick in. Not those kind. You know what I mean.
All for now,
Allie
Ryan came up to DC with me and we packed up a lot of my stuff and put it in my car. I am moving at the end of July so we decided to use this chance to bring home some extra stuff I don't need anymore, like winter clothes and stuff. From DC we went to Atlantic City, NJ. We were there about three days and stayed at the Caeser! A friend of his had a comp room so we got it for like, $26! For two nights! I gambled a little. I had about $40 I was willing to play with and over the three days it became about $170. I stuck with Black Jack and quit when I was ahead and did well. Ryan went with Roulette and a bit of Black Jack and lost $400. We had fun though. We built a sandcastle on the beach and swam in the frigid ocean and had free drinks at the casino... a good time overall.
After Atlantic City we went to my family's home in NJ. We hung out with them for a few days and were setting up for my Graduation Party mostly. That Saturday we had about 60 people, family and friends, at my house for the party and it POURED the entire time! We still had a blast and my friends from high school got to meet Ryan and they all got along great. We were in NJ until that Monday at which we left at 4:30am. I slept the whole way to DC, about four hours, where we switched from my car to his, then drove the rest of the way to South Carolina. We got there after 5pm, so nearly 13 hours in the car!!! Ugh it was a long long time. I've never done a trip that long in a car.
South Carolina is where Ryan is from, so we stayed with his family and spent time with them. I got to try lots of Southern foods, boiled peanuts, sweet tea, squash casserole, yellow bar-b-que sauce at Maurices, Sonic, and lots of other things. I met his entire family and we bonded which was great. I played golf for the first time with Ryan and his uncle and fell in love with it. I want to play golf! We also went with his other uncle to a shooting range and I got to fire a gun for the first time, it was something Ryan really wanted to teach me to do and be safe with so it was great. We saw Transformers opening night, went out to his old hang outs, celebrated his mom's birthday, had a party at his uncle's lake house, and went bowling.
It was the best three weeks of my life.
On the way back I even somehow convinced Ryan to stop at South of the Border! He wasn't too thrilled about it, but he got some fireworks in the store there and was ok after that.
Now the bad part comes. His deployment. It is soon. Like wicked soon. So soon I feel like I want to dig my fingernails into time and make it drag to a stop so he doesn't have to go. For security I know not to post when but girls, I am so scared. It is the first deployment for both of us and he will most likely be gone until February. My mom is coming down for when he leaves and his family is coming up...it will be the first time our moms will meet. I don't want him to go! I am so nervous and scared and worried and trying to keep a brave face. When he dropped me off at home after the leave vacation I sobbed for ages with him.
It has been two days since I have seen him. He will be gone in less than 10. I hope I can see him this weekend... but this will be IT. The last times together. God I am so scared. I didn't expect this all to ever sneak up on me.
Oh, the second part of my blog title hasn't kicked in yet, the Disney part. Starting in August I will be an intern at Disney World, so the double Ds will kick in. Not those kind. You know what I mean.
All for now,
Allie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
